- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Sexual orientation is a really complex subject. When I realized I was gay, I was filled with happiness and relief because I really was not attracted to men. Even as a kid, I never really pictured myself doing the same things as other girls. Even if you were gay, or bi, that would be okay. You are very very young and you have plenty of time to figure out relationships and sexuality. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, and there is nothing wrong with running through scenarios in your head. Thoughts are just thoughts and they don’t mean anything unless you want them to. You can think about whatever you want.
- Date posted
- 4y
does this sound like hocd though. and thank you so much for the response x
- Date posted
- 4y
@anonymous040107 definitely sounds like hocd. Obsessing over whether or not you actually have OCD is a symptom of OCD. You’re gonna be okay bb
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- 4y
You can search up on YouTube HOCD
- Date posted
- 4y
i have done that and it honestly makes me feel so much better but minutes after the video stops my intrusive thoughts and scary thoughts come back! thanks for the response though!
- Date posted
- 4y
@anonymous040107 Yeah hold on
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- 4y
@Peridottttt wdym?
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- 4y
@anonymous040107 Hold on to ocd don’t give it reassurance
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- 4y
@anonymous040107 The reason it’s not getting better is because you’re searching on YouTube which is seeking reassurance and it’s a compulsion
- Date posted
- 4y
i totally relate omg i have been struggling SO much for like the past 2 months and it has been so hard for me. i feel a lot of relief that i’m not the only one. i am straight but i kept freaking out that i was possibly gay or bi or had a crush on a girl. i still struggle a lot but i switched it to whether or not i have a crush on a family member or teacher or friends parent etc. (which i don’t) but i’m here if u need to vent and maybe we can help each other somehow 💗
- Date posted
- 4y
i am so so so sorry your going through this. i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy it’s awful! you’ll get through this!🤍
- Date posted
- 4y
@anonymous040107 thank you so much 💜💜 it means a lot
- Date posted
- 4y
i have also had boyfriends( well when i was 11/12 so they don’t really count) but i remember thinking when my best friend got with the guy i like i got reallly mad and jealous. i would give anything to feel like that again. a few months back when i was at the stage where i could simply ignore the intrusive thoughts the guy i liked was paying more attention to my bestfriend then he was to me and again i remember feeling mad and jealous. now if i think like that it’s telling me the opposite and tricking my mind into thinking i’m gay or bi
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
- Date posted
- 14w
I’ve always been straight my whole life and I’ve never considered being different nor have i ever had attraction to women but lately I’ve been going through a lot of different thoughts that definitely feel unlike me. When I was a kid and I don’t remember how old I was but im sure like 7 or 8 and my cousin that was I very close to had me do inappropriate things to her that I didn’t really know anything about at that time. After that happened to me I knew it was wrong and I felt so bad and disgusting and scared but at the time I didn’t really know anything and I remember when my mom would drop me over my grandmas house while she would work, I’d take my grandma’s phone and I looked up kissing videos and I saw the kissing scene from Jennifer’s body and looking back on it I just feel so much shame and confusion bc it certainly feels embarrassing. My cousin always liked girls but I never did. I loved sitting and watching Disney movies preferably princess and the frog and wanting to be a princess getting married to a prince just like in all the movies. I knew who I was from a very young age and that never changed about me. When I learned what porn was at an older age, I started becoming hyper sexual so I watched tutorials videos of women to learn how to pleasure myself. When I was a kid and to now I’ve never looked at women in that way. I’ve had best friends and sleepovers it’s never been anything sexual, romantic, or intimate. Just simply innocent friendships and hangouts. When I got to high school that’s when i started remembering what happened to me and i remember how the girls would talk about their first kisses and i remembered my sa and how I felt so scared to say anything to anyone bc I didn’t want people to think badly of me simply bc my first kiss was like that so I would simply just not say anything. Lately I’ve been having obsessive thoughts out of nowhere wondering if my sexuality has changed or if im bi or is it just my thoughts? I’ve always had ocd and even in school, the kids would pick at me because I always eat my food in order and by the lightest color. But lately it’s gotten worse. It’s like I’ve never had thoughts like this nor have I ever been like this. Not even when I was a child. And humans question themselves of course but this feels like something different. I’ve gotten distant from my best friend who’s also a girl and I’ve just cut off social media and female friend relationships at all because for some reason my brain tells me that it’s “gay” to even hug your friends or hold their hands anymore like you used to do when you were kids. I even got to a point where I would watch women porn and try to masturbate just to see if I was attracted to it or not like that’s how bad the thoughts got. It felt like an evil voice was in my head trying to convince me and sweet talk me to do and enjoy those disgusting things even when my body didn’t want to. I eventually had confided in my bf about it because he was also a victim of sa and so he helped me through it and I stopped doing it but then and my bf (now ex) broke up a couple days ago and now ive been dealing with this alone which feels like the hardest part for me. So I’ve texted my bff a lot to catch up because I’ve been distant dealing with this and I was just checking my phone awaiting for her responses to my texts because she tends to type slow and usually I never think anything of it because I used to check my phone all the time when I would await my boyfriends reply or simply just a text from him and so now im having thoughts like “why am I awaiting her texts” “do I like my friend?” Its just so many obsessive thoughts and so much overthinking that I am getting tired of because It’s been going on for months so I know this is a lot but please if anyone can please help me I beg, it would be such a great help appreciated bc this has became a really big impact on my life and not in a good way lol. Thank you !!
- Date posted
- 13w
Can hocd create mental feelings or things that resemble inclinations Without a physical response?, but such as arousal and mental attraction, for example, I have so ocd and I'm afraid that I might like women.So, in the last period, when I look at photos of girls, especially beautiful ones, I feel something strange or attracted,sometimes their bodies.And I'm confused as to what that might mean, it's like sexual orientation, is this from me or OCD produced by it?'The feeling is like the feeling of discovering new inclinations and this breaks me, I just want to reconcile with myself in any sexual orientation or identity, but I just can't feel comfortable and reconcile with the fact that I may like women or it may happen in the future.And I have these feelings that telling me messing around the girls would be fun, and I feel something like desire, but I never come to terms with this.. I'm going to be 15 years old, I know, I'm not supposed to think like that, I don't have the right to determine who I am now because im young, and I shouldn't continue to dream of marrying a man..My mind keeps reminding me of the fact that I'm a teenager and the likelihood that everything will change is high, but right now, I'm not asking for anything but rest.I want to love myself and reconcile with her.
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