Hi...I decided last night, after thinking about it for a long time...that I need to leave college. My mental health is not good...so I really need to focus on that. This is a really hard decision that I know will come with many regrets...but I’m barely able to take care of myself at college...let alone pass my classes. I’ve been going back and forth about this for a while now. But I think I have finally decided that going home to heal (as much as I hate it) is the next step that I need to take... That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say. I just wanted to share that with somebody...

I don’t know what I can do. I guess this is more of a depression thing than OCD but who knows. I have been battling this ongoing war within myself for years now and it’s been affecting my academic performance. situation of mine right now: I haven’t done a lot of work for my classes this month and I feel like I’m going to fail the semester again. I don’t know what it is but I can never seem to begin any work. I know I am capable but why can’t I get myself to start? why has this been going on for so long? I don’t understand. I have a history of good grades back in high school before I turned 17. I don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like I’ve been paralyzed and cannot do any work. but I can somehow do offside tasks like pinterest boards or random youtube videos. if I get rid of those, what do I do? I end up sleeping. because I’m tired. I have a low vitamin D deficiency & have been trying to get energy. I’m at a loss. I also bought unnecessary stuff on sunday when I went out with my family. I bought some things for the kids and I ended up buying myself a dress and a few accessories. now I have to work extra to gain that money back doing uber eats because I need it asap. it’s like I don’t want to work, for now. my coworkers who are around my age don’t work as much & I think to myself, “wow, they must be getting in the work done” meanwhile I’m working 3 days a week (which isn’t much) and attending school. I feel like if I change my schedule again, I’ll ruin it for the rest of my driver coworkers. I’m in a lead position at work so having to put on a mask is quite tiring. there’s so much I want to say that I don’t think it will fit in this post. I have booked a mental health session with a school counselor. all I want at the moment is to have my own place and be in a better mental state to take care of my cats. they mean a lot to me but this stupid ass undiagnosed mental issue is getting in the way. sorry for the long rant. I am tired.

I feel like having the app is kind of keeping me stuck. I stopped doing therapy after my therapist left abruptly, but I like having the community here. I would feel like I’m abandoning y’all, but it might be better for my mental health? I’m just not sure. I feel like deleting is giving in somehow, but I can always redownload. For the friends I’ve made on here, just know that if I go, I still very much care about you and your wellbeing and recovery! ❤️

I am a freshman in college diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression. I have been on medication for 2 months but I do not see any improvement yet. College has become an anxiety fuel now and I can’t study because I am too anxious and sometimes I cry when I try to. I can’t perform well in classes and the workload is stressing me out. During the first exam season I was a wreak but I wasn’t yet on meds and that’s when my depression appeared. The thing is I can’t really do the normal routine things and I don’t find happiness in the things that were my hobbies. I don’t know how I’ll be able to tell my parents if I do it because my mom is really on about the fact that I can do it cause I’m strong and now I just feel like I will disappoint her. If anyone that went or is going through this let me know your experience.