- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I go through that once in a while, atleast my fiancee is very understading, I tell him when I have these type of thoughts and he guides me through it. It's important to remember it doesn't matter whether it's thoughts about you hurting others or others hurting you, in the end it's just a thought. I also thought maybe there's something terribly wrong with me because most of my thoughts is about someone doing something to me etc... I don't think it's paranoia, maybe just a random thought and we latch on because the thought scares us and we can only control ourselves unfortunatly, so it's a bit scarier to think of people doing something wrong to us.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much for your response. My ocd started very differently and only ended up this way in the past six months (since I got married actually). I search for other people who worry abiut there hurting them but find very little information on it. It's very scary and though I have a very understanding husband, I really wish I want bringing this into our first year of marriage. Thank you for your words. Do you have any advice for letting go of thoughts like this?? I'm having trouble getting over them.
- Date posted
- 6y
Mine the same, had severy anxiety and stress for about 3 months and my brain broke haha after I had a health scare (which was obviously only in my mind ?) that was last year June/July. Man I was so scared, I feel for you girl. Ocd tend to hit you where it hurts you the most... I had such bizzare thoughts regarding my fiancee (then my boyfriend) poor guy haha well hun, I know it's a tough one, the thing I did that really helped me was I said to myself I will believe it (whatever thought I had) when I see it happening and I did some mindfulness and meditation for the anxiety. It's strange that they don't mention people having thoughts of something being done unto them, it's always the other way around... remember anxiety can get you to think very weird thoughts, learn to manage the anxiety and the thoughts will slowly taper down.
- Date posted
- 6y
... I also have nightmares about him leaving me and cheating on me... those are just as bad. Unfortunatly like I said we can only control ourselves the rest is up to faith, trust & hope oh nad honesty :)
- Date posted
- 6y
@Melony sucks to feel like this.
- Date posted
- 6y
I get the same feelings! Every time we're around other guys I think she's checking them out and prefers them over me and will cheat on me.
- Date posted
- 6y
@j289l I get super jealous, like insanely jealous haha atleast my partner understands, I basically told him it's not always lack of trust it's my ocd aswell. I would wake up at night crying my eyes out after a nightmare I had that he will leave me or that he cheats on me)
- Date posted
- 6y
@Melony I hope this blows over for you, always remember to have an open mind and not expect the worst.
- Date posted
- 6y
@Dalisay thank you! It’s definitely difficult. I haven’t really talked to my current girlfriend about these kinds of thoughts yet, but she’s very sweet and understanding.
- Date posted
- 6y
@Melony that's super important. Well we don't always have to share every thought, if I did that my fiancee would have to listen to me constantly haha but sometimes it helps to get things out.
- Date posted
- 6y
@Dalisay it sounds like you have a great fiancé! My girlfriend and I talk about our feelings a lot lol it’s definitely helpful
- Date posted
- 6y
Sorry about the spelling haha I type too quickly.
- Date posted
- 6y
Because we have to live with the uncertainty that we don't know what's going on in other people's heads. What worked for me was to say I'll believe this or that thought when I see it happen in reality
- Date posted
- 6y
I have thoughts of an old friends with benefits finding me and hurting me for leaving her... she never hurt me but she was an angry person. Part of it is my guilt for leaving.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I have ocd, i have crazy intrusive thoughts that make me super uncomfortable, the thing is i understand that ocd goes against your morals and try’s to make you feel like a bad person but how do i avoid pushing people away while trying to treat my ocd.. i love my boyfriend so so much but when i get intrusive thoughts about hurting his feelings or doing something terrible it scares me so bad that i’m scared to be around him because in my head it’s like “why am i even thinking of this if i love him so much” and i know i would never do anything to hurt him but i just feel terrible because he’s an amazing boyfriend and i have all these bad thoughts. :(
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭
- Date posted
- 19d
Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship..
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