I am a full recluse. I panic when I try to step outside. When people ask my parents about me, they tell them that I just like staying at home. I hate that. People must believe that I don't consider them worth my time and effort. My parents ( particularly my Dad) seem to be trying to hide my mental illness. Dad said that it's a reflection on him and that people will think I'm mistreated. I can't stop thinking about it. I just feel physically and mentally trapped. I don't know what to do.

Does anyone know of any rehabilitation centers for mental health? My ocd has gotten bad today to the point where I feel like leaving :( and desperately get help . Ever since I began medication months ago I been feeling fine but all sudden I feel like my episodes are rapidly coming back. I’m more responsive to them. I find myself ruminating more and engaging in compulsions. I feel embarrassed that my family would have to know if I considered making that choice of leaving . It’s never gotten to this breaking point , or at least I don’t think. I’ve been through this a billion times and each time it feels like it’s the worst and it’s gonna be the one that will permanently take over me and my full control. I’m from Elkhart, Indiana. Or if there’s anyone here that can talk to me I’d appreciate it I feel so alone right now and I’m more vulnerable because I’m home alone and I don’t have many friends. I’m scared that I’m gonna lose touch with myself. I don’t wanna lost my values or stop feeling my normal self. It feels real and scary. I want it to stop.

It's been a year since I've been able to stay home alone. I don't know how to fight this. I feel like the world will collapse on me. That the house will cave in. Or I'll just lose my mind and scream and run outside screaming and saying the world is falling type thing. I don't know how to help myself. I'm to scared to even try to be alone. I have to have my son 18 stay home with me or my aunt stay with me when my son does leave. It's horrible. I feel like I'm holding my son back from so much. I don't know how to beat this. Please help

Told my close friend about how I think I have harm ocd and showed a video describing her experience with it so I wouldn’t have to share mine. Told him how when I see the number 22 I get paranoid that I’ll harm someone, and he gave me advice to go to a psychiatrist then left me on read after we were having a conversation prior. I’m so scared to open up to people about it and now I don’t think I will again.