I am a full recluse. I panic when I try to step outside. When people ask my parents about me, they tell them that I just like staying at home. I hate that. People must believe that I don't consider them worth my time and effort. My parents ( particularly my Dad) seem to be trying to hide my mental illness. Dad said that it's a reflection on him and that people will think I'm mistreated. I can't stop thinking about it. I just feel physically and mentally trapped. I don't know what to do.

I'm scared of going outside, too. I gave myself homework to go and take a walk every day. My grandparents always insisted on me not talking about my mental health (Ocd and depressive episodes) but I just recently started to question them making decisions over my head. Fuck that. A lot of people that I don't know very well but still trust them, know about my disorders. I think it's key to not talk about it as if it's something you need to be ashamed of. If you do that, people might really continue to think that it's shameful. But it's not. Even mentally healthy people have their traumata whether they realise that or not. So if you decide to be more open about yourself, give a fuck about yourself and don't give a fuck about their opinion about your mental health, in case it would only consist of destructive criticism and prejudice.

I'm not sure if you're asking shirekat or me. My obsession when I go for a walk is, that I might release my thoughts into my surroundings and become vulnerable to people who could read them. My compulsion to this was to control the ground whether I could see thoughts that I might have dropped. It shares similarities to symptoms that occur with psychosis but it is part of my Ocd. I talked about it with my psychiatrist and he explained that this is a fairly rare symptom but it exists.

People will judge you know matter what. I think as long as your happy who cares

Unfortunately, I'm not happy. I panic outside but I'm unhappy inside. I miss seeing people. ?

Can you do it gradually? Face your fears

I was starting to but my safe person just recently gave up on me. I feel like I'm back at square one.

What happens when you try to go outside? What makes you panic

Therapist, meds and goals, even if baby steps,to habituated to the anxiety of getting out.

Habituate