- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Schizophrenia ocd is a very common theme!!! It makes you doubt all of your senses and surroundings and it can be really scary. When I had it, one of my biggest compulsions was if I heard a sound I would ask others if they heard it too or I would try to figure out where the sound came from (to see if it was just in my head or not) but not checking helped me improve greatly! Sitting in the uncertainty helped and now when I think I saw something strange or heard something, I just think to myself “maybe, maybe not. I’m not going to figure this out right now” and I allow it to pass. I practice not caring to the thoughts and not attaching meaning
Thank you, Truley. It wasn’t my theme usually but I’ve been doing ERP so it seems to be attacking in new forms
It’s kind of funny looking back, I had written this when Google something was on my computer and talked to me (I didn’t know it could do that). It scared me half to death. I literally thought I was losing it. My husband found out I had a setting set that made the computer take in when I said something and ask questions kind of like Siri. You have to accept the uncertainty. I know it’s hard but each time you check you’re digging the hole deeper. Let it be.
I totally had this fear a couple years ago... and I would have to replay things over on movies or tv shows to make sure it wasn’t something that was just in my own head... like random noises or words. But it’s not schizophrenia and you don’t have it. It’s just the ocd, I promise!
How did you get over this ?
@artsygirl I actually just started getting better with it because of this app... knowing that this is not me or my thoughts and that it’s the OCD, and that people have the same things going on that I do. Just try to calm your mind with that
@Anniemxo1 Thank you .
How are you now??
This is currently my theme
I feel so much better not being on alert and checking. If I go schizo, I do. I have to accept uncertainty or I will be stuck forever. I learned it was a choice and each time I did the compulsion I was digging the hole deeper and making it more difficult to get out of. That isn't to say it is hard as hell sometimes.
@artsygirl Yes I am currently struggling. I am so hyper aware of noise now because of this especially when my fan is on. I work with my therapist to help but idk it’s so hard to believe It’s just ocd and anxiety ya know. Any advice to help overcome this would be so helpful
@Lilly2442! Keep doing the homework even if it scares you with your therapist. Don’t check. Simply allow.
@artsygirl Ugh yes I’m trying but every time I hear something I just get so anxious. It’s so hard to explain
@Lilly2442! You’re allowed to be anxious. You just can’t do a compulsion. Keep working with your therapist.
@artsygirl I appreciate you taking the time to respond back. I’m trying to not check where the noise came from and I’ll continue to not try. But honestly this theme is the worse. It’s nice to know people have experienced this theme but I just feel like I have it so bad from others that have experienced it. Hyper-vigilance-hyper awareness sucks so bad wouldn’t wish it upon anybody.
I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"
I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.
i’m so scared im going to lose control and end up locked up or something. this is so exhausting!! i worry that what i have isn’t OCD and that im genuinely insane and im gonna end up in big trouble or that the urges i have are going to actually happen. i dont want to think these things ! i feel like a horrible human being!!
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