- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Schizophrenia ocd is a very common theme!!! It makes you doubt all of your senses and surroundings and it can be really scary. When I had it, one of my biggest compulsions was if I heard a sound I would ask others if they heard it too or I would try to figure out where the sound came from (to see if it was just in my head or not) but not checking helped me improve greatly! Sitting in the uncertainty helped and now when I think I saw something strange or heard something, I just think to myself “maybe, maybe not. I’m not going to figure this out right now” and I allow it to pass. I practice not caring to the thoughts and not attaching meaning
Thank you, Truley. It wasn’t my theme usually but I’ve been doing ERP so it seems to be attacking in new forms
It’s kind of funny looking back, I had written this when Google something was on my computer and talked to me (I didn’t know it could do that). It scared me half to death. I literally thought I was losing it. My husband found out I had a setting set that made the computer take in when I said something and ask questions kind of like Siri. You have to accept the uncertainty. I know it’s hard but each time you check you’re digging the hole deeper. Let it be.
I totally had this fear a couple years ago... and I would have to replay things over on movies or tv shows to make sure it wasn’t something that was just in my own head... like random noises or words. But it’s not schizophrenia and you don’t have it. It’s just the ocd, I promise!
How did you get over this ?
@artsygirl I actually just started getting better with it because of this app... knowing that this is not me or my thoughts and that it’s the OCD, and that people have the same things going on that I do. Just try to calm your mind with that
@Anniemxo1 Thank you .
How are you now??
This is currently my theme
I feel so much better not being on alert and checking. If I go schizo, I do. I have to accept uncertainty or I will be stuck forever. I learned it was a choice and each time I did the compulsion I was digging the hole deeper and making it more difficult to get out of. That isn't to say it is hard as hell sometimes.
@artsygirl Yes I am currently struggling. I am so hyper aware of noise now because of this especially when my fan is on. I work with my therapist to help but idk it’s so hard to believe It’s just ocd and anxiety ya know. Any advice to help overcome this would be so helpful
@Lilly2442! Keep doing the homework even if it scares you with your therapist. Don’t check. Simply allow.
@artsygirl Ugh yes I’m trying but every time I hear something I just get so anxious. It’s so hard to explain
@Lilly2442! You’re allowed to be anxious. You just can’t do a compulsion. Keep working with your therapist.
@artsygirl I appreciate you taking the time to respond back. I’m trying to not check where the noise came from and I’ll continue to not try. But honestly this theme is the worse. It’s nice to know people have experienced this theme but I just feel like I have it so bad from others that have experienced it. Hyper-vigilance-hyper awareness sucks so bad wouldn’t wish it upon anybody.
I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.
I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.
Recently ive been getting very scared to even be angry (i try to avoid even being angry if i can!) bc of the horrible thoughts I have and it feels even more real when I'm angry or even annoyed. I've been hyperfocusing on my bodily reactions (mainly my hands or how I'm feeling like did I just enjoy that? Was I considering? Did it just move? Why is it tingly? Why did it twitch?) And I've noticed the small twitches whenever I'm mad or annoyed and it's scaring me so bad! Like do I want to act out? Am I holding back? Is this an indication i was about to do something or will in the future? I used to not even twitch at all when mad and I felt 100% sure I'll never act out but now it feels like I don't even know anymore bc of these twitches. Im so afraid! What I do know is I don't want to ever act out (idea is distressing not appealing) but it's so scary like why did i twitch or was i about to act out? Im scared these are real urges and i research for many many hours to make sure they arent real urges or impulses and i also tend to ask ai or here if the anxiety gets so bad. Like how do I know of this is actually a serious concern and I should be very worried???
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