I keep getting scared that my ocd is morphing or is going to morph into schizophrenia and I’m going to start seeing hallucinations and hearing voices. My anxiety is so high. I think I’m scared bc I just don’t know how much more I can take on top of ocd. I’m questioning every sound and second guessing myself.

Schizophrenia ocd is a very common theme!!! It makes you doubt all of your senses and surroundings and it can be really scary. When I had it, one of my biggest compulsions was if I heard a sound I would ask others if they heard it too or I would try to figure out where the sound came from (to see if it was just in my head or not) but not checking helped me improve greatly! Sitting in the uncertainty helped and now when I think I saw something strange or heard something, I just think to myself “maybe, maybe not. I’m not going to figure this out right now” and I allow it to pass. I practice not caring to the thoughts and not attaching meaning

It’s kind of funny looking back, I had written this when Google something was on my computer and talked to me (I didn’t know it could do that). It scared me half to death. I literally thought I was losing it. My husband found out I had a setting set that made the computer take in when I said something and ask questions kind of like Siri. You have to accept the uncertainty. I know it’s hard but each time you check you’re digging the hole deeper. Let it be.

I totally had this fear a couple years ago... and I would have to replay things over on movies or tv shows to make sure it wasn’t something that was just in my own head... like random noises or words. But it’s not schizophrenia and you don’t have it. It’s just the ocd, I promise!

How are you now??

This is currently my theme

I feel so much better not being on alert and checking. If I go schizo, I do. I have to accept uncertainty or I will be stuck forever. I learned it was a choice and each time I did the compulsion I was digging the hole deeper and making it more difficult to get out of. That isn't to say it is hard as hell sometimes.