- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Trying to rationalise them is basically asking for reassurance and feeding it in my unprofessional opinion. You don’t ignore the thought, just don’t react to it. They will come back, but you just don’t react with fear and your brain will send less of them?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I wish that too, but last Thursday I had my biggest meltdown yet. Was self harming, screaming into a pillow, I wanted to die. Every single day this happened Then I listened to Ali Greymonds methods of dealing with the thoughts and I’ve been ‘stable’ ever since. Thoughts don’t get to me as much, I don’t ruminate as much. Went from 10/10 to about 7/10 (which is a big leap from no hope to 30% of my life back)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I hope things get better for you too! I’d maybe get a second opinion? Because not all therapists are good. Everywhere says don’t look for reassurance. I tried rationalising my thoughts for a month and it made me worse (don’t want to advise in case it’s wrong) I’d just make sure the therapist knows about OCD :) It feels better to go from 0 hope to 30% hope haha! Keep updated on this post!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I also went to a therapist for a little bit that advised rationalizing my thoughts and labeling them as OCD thoughts (writing down the ‘OCD’ thought and then writing down a rational thought beside it) but I agree with Lewis in that I found it made me ruminate more and perform a checking compulsion constantly. Also, separating ‘OCD thoughts’ from ‘regular thoughts’ made me label the thoughts as not necessarily my own and led to some intense depersonalization and pushed me more into black and white thinking:( Now i’m finding that I just write down my most repetitive/intrusive thoughts at the end of each day and just leave it at that: eventually I’m able to see that regardless of whether they are ‘rational’ or not, they are repetitive and therefore intrusive so I shouldn’t give too much meaning to them. I hope that makes sense!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
What do you mean rationalize them? Like try to think rationally about them?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’m not an expert, and don’t really know what helps in the long term. But as m.a.d said, say if your thought is “what if I did this 4 years ago” Then the rational thought would be “Well it happened so long ago, what’s the point in worrying” To everyone who doesn’t have OCD that’s enough...but to us we are like “BUT what if it does?!” If you have the thought you can label it in your head as an OCD thought, or say “Yeah sure, whatever I’m this horrible person” then get on with your day. The compulsion would to be to get reassurance and try convince yourself you’re not a bad person. Sorry for the long paragraph, hope it makes sense haha!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
No worries! Keep us updated!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Well yeah that’s exactly my thinking, too. I just wish there was some sort of magic pill taking it all away in a day ?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Ugh, I can only imagine how that must feel? Yeah, I have discovered her recently and I have been listening to her but I was conflicted about what to do since my latest therapy with my therapist. It’s like I don’t know who should I listen to you know ? Great job on your progress and overcoming your fears? it takes a lot to go from zero to 30% I hope you continue your progress and find a relief, I wish that to all of us struggling...
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Lewis will do, thanks for the support. I’m going to talk to her next time I see her. She’s definitely one of the best I can find in my city and she suffered from ocd too so I think I just have to explain it a bit better to her my questioning? @m.a.d. Yes, that’s exactly it, like keeping some sort of journal and writing down why those thoughts(ocd thoughts) aren’t real. Thanks for your response it’s been really helpful ? @pluto yes, like trying to see a rational picture beyond the ocd thought, and also everything i just wrote in response to @m.a.d. up here ?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Lewis yeah, it totally makes sense and thank you so much for engaging in a conversation with me ?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w ago
Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 4w ago
I’m new to the app and wanting to know who else experiences this form of ocd. Some background I was a therapist for over 10 years now I am out of the clinical space. So I have background knowledge of ocd but never knew much about relationship ocd. I realized over the last several years with my now fiancé, that I have a hard time just letting go in general, whether that’s an argument or statement or feeling. I want to be able to just accept things at face value and move on (and talk later if my partner is ready as needed). But when conflict arises I can’t disengage till there is a clear resolution. It’s causing serious strife as he can feel trapped and it escalates the argument. I am reading more and this sounds like relationship OCD. Anyone else experience this? Curious on what others have done to work on this for themselves. I do have a therapist but we are not doing work in this area yet as I am realizing this is an actual concern.
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