- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Please know you’re not the only one going through this. I’m going through pretty much the exact same thing right now. I’m beginning my journey to get to the root of all of this and re-discover who I really am. In my experience, being very quiet spirited (calm on the inside) and not taking your OCD thoughts to help a lot. What I’ve learned is that, good or bad, it doesn’t matter what others believe you are, but what you believe you are. Hope this helped and I’ll be praying for you! We don’t have any other choice but to believe there’s light at the end of the tunnel. You’re not in this alone.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you! You too! I’ll revisit this thread every now and then! Lemme know how y’all are doing 👍🏼
- Date posted
- 4y
I have yet to be formally diagnosed as well, it was about a year straight of awful intrusive thoughts and then I got a lot better by being as mindful as I could be and that turned everything around! I reccomend a movie called “About time”. That’s what encouraged me to be mindful and find the joy in life, moment by moment.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you!! I will check out the movie. It is comforting knowing I’m not the only person experiencing this
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you, I appreciate it. I had never thought of it until now but it’s almost like my obsession has now turned towards how I am feeling? And with the anhedonia, it’s very rarely anything so the more distressing obsessions come back? Idk just spit balling. I don’t have a formal diagnosis of ocd yet, so I guess I am just trying to figure out what is going on
- Date posted
- 4y
Same here! It’s just the weirdest thing isn’t it? But we’ve gotta have some hope that things will get better!
- Date posted
- 4y
I often worry if I don’t have a negative response to the thought that I’m entertaining it. It’s super scary.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m the exact same way!
- Date posted
- 4y
Same!
- Date posted
- 4y
Today’s been one of the worst days I’ve had in awhile. It’s hard to know what’s a compulsion and what’s not for me. It’s awful but it helps to know I’m not the only one.
- Date posted
- 4y
Hang in there! 💜 *hugs*
- Date posted
- 4y
I have a had a few “good days” without limited intrusive thoughts. However, I seem to sabotage them by engaging in reassurance seeking out compulsions. I also currently feel like I have irreparably damaged the relationships with the people my hocd is focused on. While I have been transparent with them about what I’m going through and they have been accepting, I feel like I am never going to get back to the place we were before. This all just fuels my intrusive thoughts and it comes back viciously. It’s like even if I take 1 step forward, I find ways to take 800 backwards. It’s exhausting.
- Date posted
- 4y
Again, had another few good days, and today was the most intense reaction to my thoughts that I think I have ever had. I haven’t cried in years, and today I broke down and couldn’t stop. Idk if this is ocd, depression or what. I start ERP tomorrow; I’m praying that I can get better control of this.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
- Date posted
- 19w
Does anyone else experience a moment of clarity where you feel strong relief that the intrusive thought isn’t true, only to then immediately start questioning if you’ve only convinced yourself that because you don’t want the thought to be true? I’m pretty confident it would take some crazy mental gymnastics to actually successfully convince myself I didn’t do something that I deep down knew I did, but every time I resist the compulsions and try to sit with the uncertainty or tell myself to think about what is logical, I usually briefly know that this probably didn’t happen but am unable to move on out of fear I’m just in denial and have convinced myself of that.
- Date posted
- 18w
Hi everyone, I’m new here, and I wanted to share my experience. I’ve been struggling for over a year now on obsessing over a mistake. And the rumination of the mistake I made has been overwhelming and exhausting in those two years. I feel like such a horrible person. At the time, I didn’t realize what I was doing would affect me so much. When I realized it was wrong, I just said I’ll never do it again, and I moved on. But then months later, I was reminded of what I did, and I felt like I did the worst thing in the world, and that my life will never be normal again. And ever since then, it’s been a constant thought. And it’s exhausting. I have been able to open up to my family and a close friend about it and their reactions were so nonchalant compared to what my brain has been telling me. They say it wasn’t even that bad, and that I shouldn’t be beating myself up. I tell them how badly I feel and they just act like it was nothing. I thought that would help, but my brain continues to tell me how horrible of a person I am and I obsess over this one mistake I made two years ago. I’ve learned from it, I’ve moved on, I’ve opened up about it, I’ve gotten reassurance, but yet it still eats at me. It’s constant some days. Where all I wanna do is lay down in a corner and never leave. I feel like my life will never be normal again and I’ll never experience happiness again. Whenever I smile or feel any type of joy my brain tells me to stop and reminds me that I’m a bad person and I don’t deserve to be happy. Even though everyone tells me what I did wasn’t even that bad. And that it doesn’t make me who I am. But guess it’s not enough and I’m really running out of options.
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