- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I deal with a pretty similar situation. I try to remind myself that ocd will feel as real as it can. And whenever I notice myself going in this spiral I try to catch myself and say I could be ruminating and need to move on and then I focus on what I’m doing at that moment. Usually happens when I’m watching tv so I’ll sit there and ask myself how the couch feels, what colors are the actors shirts and things like that
Thank you so much, I will try it out! It legit feels like I want it but I don’t want to accept it. It makes me really anxious I don’t even know if it’s true or not
Hey! I have Harm OCD. High five to feeling like the next Michael Myers!!!! Couple of things here - I've finished my NOCD sessions and I'll share a couple of things I've learned. We have two brains an inner brain and an outer brain. The inner brain is our beliefs, our core, our morals. It is what shapes us to who we are. The outer brain is like highway brain. Anyone and anything can affect what is in that brain. For instance - you're going to eat poop tonight..... now you're thinking about poop thinking - no I'm not?? But I put that random thought there. You cannot control that outer brain. Thoughts come in but with brains like ours they stick and we somehow believe it's in our inner brain when it's not. 2nd: stop punishing yourself on the thoughts. Trust me on this one. I'm a Christian, and I did that. I thought it meant I was evil, that I was horrible and was going to really act out on it. The more upset I got with myself the more frequent the thoughts would happen and the worse they'd become. OCD takes what you care about the most and twists it up all nasty and serves it back to you in the most effed up way possible. Chances are you're a very loving and caring person. Just because you're having thoughts (that aren't your belief btw) doesn't mean you'll act out on it. Think about authors who write murder novels. They spend months and months planning a murder, putting themselves in the mindset of a killer and they are no closer to killing someone than you are. Lastly, actions are controlled. We control our actions. Just because you have a thought doesn't mean you'll act on it. OCD will whisper in your ear, "Well, what iffff...." when that happens you tell OCD to eff off bc it's a liar and you know who you are. You will be victorious. Don't be afraid to talk to someone and please don't think you're alone. Hugs from Ohio! You will have your victory - I promise. Just breathe and know it'll all be okay.
Hey!! Hahahah I laughed at the first part, it does feel like that lol😭 thank you so so much for your kind words, I will be getting help from OCD specialist soon. Yeah it is so fcked up how our brain messes with us. Did you ever feel like you were in denial? That’s how I feel now, I feel like if I wanted my thoughts but I’m just not accepting it. I no longer can tell if I’m capable of acting on my thoughts or not, and it’s terrible. I feel like I’m going to turn into a serial killer any second. And it’s crazy because I know I’ve never said: I really want to do this, but still, they feel like desires sometimes, or like if I wanted them, and they make me doubt things like: what if I already want this thoughts and I’m just faking all this? What if I’m already a bad person and I don’t want to recognize it? Or how do I know I don’t want to? This is all so overwhelming, and now I’m even doubting if it’s really overwhelm what I feel or not lol. Anyways, sometimes I feel like I don’t feel enough sufferment so it might not be OCD. Or sometimes I feel urges so I doubt: is it that you want to do it? Dang it this is really hard to deal with, but thanks for your positive vibes <3 hugs from Chile
Yeah OCD makes you second guess who you are. You have to stand strong and remember who you are, who you have been. Your OCD will switch up too, so always just be ready for any type of intrusive thought. Some of my thoughts are "what if" based, some have been "do it" (mostly when I'm upset that what ifs are getting to me). I've never had visions of doing it but know that it's common for people with OCD to have visualizations too. There was a time where I was like, "What if I just do it so I am not bothered by this anymore?" Then freaking out ensues as normal. Haha. I mean bottom line it truly is attacking something about you that means a lot. For Harm OCD it is our character. Our loving and caring nature, the push to do the right thing. So for us OCD gets us to feel like we must be sinister and evil. 🤷♀️ Laughing and sharing my story helps A TON. There's more people than you realize who struggle with this. Also, I'm pretty sure Jason, Freddy and Michael didn't freak out behind the scenes on who they were - they were just evil to the core. ;) xo
I’m not gonna lie ... sometimes I feel like I have no control over what I think and feel. Idk if that happens to anyone else but I just feel plain crazy now. I’m not hallucinating or hearing stuff but like... it’s like my mind is just throwing all kinds of intrusive thoughts and my emotions are mixed
I hate how my mind is making me doubt of my intentions when i clearly know that I don’t have any desires to act on my thoughts. It makes my intentions feel so uncertain, and sometimes it would even make me feel like if I wanted to act on my thoughts when I actually don’t, because I wouldn’t be doubting if I did. So since I feel my intentions so uncertain I need to come to an answer, and sometimes it is so damn hard to get that answer, which makes me anxious and disturbed. It would also make me think of my past like, how were you okay without having these thoughts? Or makes me think of my future like, will you be okay without these thoughts? So it would make me think that these thoughts are really desires and I won’t be okay unless I act on them. As horrible as it sounds. And I don’t know if someone gets this too but, it would also make me doubt my feelings. When my family tells me cute things like “I love you” and stuff, I would feel so bad, because my thoughts are towards them. So I would say “ily too” but I feel like an hypocrite saying it, or like I don’t mean it at all, so it makes me doubt if I really love them or not. This is all so overwhelming, and I have gone through so many disturbing and crazy thoughts, feelings and situations, that I don’t know if this might be OCD.
I’m worried bc feels like i’m not disgusted or scared enough by my thoughts, does this mean i want to do them? I feel like im becoming a psycho or something, and my brain keeps saying “that’s not bad so why are you worried about it” like wtf yes it is bad and i’m so tired of explaining why to it but like what if im losing my morals like im dizzy idk 😭
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