Right now I feel like I am going to act on my thoughts, or like I’m capable of acting on them, or like if I liked my thoughts. But I don’t want to! Then why does it feel like I did or like I wanted them?? It’s really f*cked up bc it is confusing me and my intentions. And now I can’t no longer know the answer to that!! It’s really frustrating and distressing, sometimes I can be sure about the answer but sometimes I just can not and it’s the worst. I legit feel like I’m going to act on them, why do I feel like that?!! I feel like I’m turning into a psychopath!!😫

I deal with a pretty similar situation. I try to remind myself that ocd will feel as real as it can. And whenever I notice myself going in this spiral I try to catch myself and say I could be ruminating and need to move on and then I focus on what I’m doing at that moment. Usually happens when I’m watching tv so I’ll sit there and ask myself how the couch feels, what colors are the actors shirts and things like that

Hey! I have Harm OCD. High five to feeling like the next Michael Myers!!!! Couple of things here - I've finished my NOCD sessions and I'll share a couple of things I've learned. We have two brains an inner brain and an outer brain. The inner brain is our beliefs, our core, our morals. It is what shapes us to who we are. The outer brain is like highway brain. Anyone and anything can affect what is in that brain. For instance - you're going to eat poop tonight..... now you're thinking about poop thinking - no I'm not?? But I put that random thought there. You cannot control that outer brain. Thoughts come in but with brains like ours they stick and we somehow believe it's in our inner brain when it's not. 2nd: stop punishing yourself on the thoughts. Trust me on this one. I'm a Christian, and I did that. I thought it meant I was evil, that I was horrible and was going to really act out on it. The more upset I got with myself the more frequent the thoughts would happen and the worse they'd become. OCD takes what you care about the most and twists it up all nasty and serves it back to you in the most effed up way possible. Chances are you're a very loving and caring person. Just because you're having thoughts (that aren't your belief btw) doesn't mean you'll act out on it. Think about authors who write murder novels. They spend months and months planning a murder, putting themselves in the mindset of a killer and they are no closer to killing someone than you are. Lastly, actions are controlled. We control our actions. Just because you have a thought doesn't mean you'll act on it. OCD will whisper in your ear, "Well, what iffff...." when that happens you tell OCD to eff off bc it's a liar and you know who you are. You will be victorious. Don't be afraid to talk to someone and please don't think you're alone. Hugs from Ohio! You will have your victory - I promise. Just breathe and know it'll all be okay.

Hey!! Hahahah I laughed at the first part, it does feel like that lol😭 thank you so so much for your kind words, I will be getting help from OCD specialist soon. Yeah it is so fcked up how our brain messes with us. Did you ever feel like you were in denial? That’s how I feel now, I feel like if I wanted my thoughts but I’m just not accepting it. I no longer can tell if I’m capable of acting on my thoughts or not, and it’s terrible. I feel like I’m going to turn into a serial killer any second. And it’s crazy because I know I’ve never said: I really want to do this, but still, they feel like desires sometimes, or like if I wanted them, and they make me doubt things like: what if I already want this thoughts and I’m just faking all this? What if I’m already a bad person and I don’t want to recognize it? Or how do I know I don’t want to? This is all so overwhelming, and now I’m even doubting if it’s really overwhelm what I feel or not lol. Anyways, sometimes I feel like I don’t feel enough sufferment so it might not be OCD. Or sometimes I feel urges so I doubt: is it that you want to do it? Dang it this is really hard to deal with, but thanks for your positive vibes <3 hugs from Chile