I’m having intrusive thoughts of something horrible happening to a loved one and the ocd says that I’m “attracting it to happen” and that no matter what I say or do I’ll “attract” this to become reality when I know logically that it was just a thought but the what if and the “if you do this then____ will happen” I just feel so intensely afraid and I never want these things to be real obviously but idk it’s just a scary what if and it’s hard to believe that something that feels so real is just a thought—- then I proceed after recognizing it’s just a thought to fear that saying that somehow the universe will cause that horrible thing to happen as “proof” so I just sit and wait and beg everyone to be careful and keep in contact with me so I know they are ok The thing is is that nothing ever happens but the fear just feels like it’s actually occurring Goshh I’m a friggin mess

I’ve tried living in the uncertainty today & kept myself busy but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m about to lose control & act on my thoughts. I keep feeling like I need to check in to see how I feel & keep my self safe & when I’m near my trigger it feels like I’m being pulled into doing it & feels like I want to but I’m not using compulsions. My thoughts feel like my own & feeling like I’ll be like this forever. Can someone relate or give advice 😩

i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self

idk why this is such a recurrent thing for me , I get so scared through the day when I’m not distracted when I think about psychosis. or being put in a mental hospital that it gives me bad anxiety, one time I had a panic attack at the thought of having it 💔 I can’t pin point if it’s intrusive thoughts because it’s a fear of mine .. or not. I think this is the worst thought / fear I have