I’m having intrusive thoughts of something horrible happening to a loved one and the ocd says that I’m “attracting it to happen” and that no matter what I say or do I’ll “attract” this to become reality when I know logically that it was just a thought but the what if and the “if you do this then____ will happen” I just feel so intensely afraid and I never want these things to be real obviously but idk it’s just a scary what if and it’s hard to believe that something that feels so real is just a thought—- then I proceed after recognizing it’s just a thought to fear that saying that somehow the universe will cause that horrible thing to happen as “proof” so I just sit and wait and beg everyone to be careful and keep in contact with me so I know they are ok The thing is is that nothing ever happens but the fear just feels like it’s actually occurring Goshh I’m a friggin mess

Has anyone thought about something and have it come true? So for instance I thought about suicide and then one of my cousins committed suicide. I Think about something bad and then next thing I know it happens to me or someone I know. Now I'm having such bad anxiety about all these bad things that may happen to me and my family that I obsess over it causing me to extensively pray. It's exhausting and idk what to do or how to control it. I feel like every thought has or will come true that I'm having a hard time.

I cannot stop thinking about litterally I mean all day and all night since I can’t sleep either that I am manifesting harm on someone I love so so much, it’s truly heartbreaking and I’m just so over it, it’s been like this for a week now and I just can’t get it out of my head I’m like so convinced that me thinking about this all day everyday that it’s manifesting cause my ocd rumination makes me feel and think that I want harm on them when it’s the furthest thing from the truth, I’m truly so exhausted but I can’t accept such a terrible thought either idk what to do lol I’m lossttttttt

I’m not sure if this is ocd but sometimes I’ll just be doing literally anything and my brain will be like what if this this and this happens and it’ll be like so random like an example id be like walking home and id be like what if my whole family got k!lled in this really brutal way and it’ll have nothing to do with anything im doing ill just get a really vivid thought of something horrible happening and it freaks me out every time and sometimes I just have random ones about like me like having a whole scenario of me singing in front of my whole school and everyone loving it (I can’t sing) sometimes the thoughts are just intrusive thoughts or somethings they’re like full on daydreams where there’s like a whole plot to it like even the bad scary ones it’s weird