Help omg. I don’t want to do anything that my thoughts say but it feels like I’m not gonna be fine until I do them. It’s so horrible because it feels like they’re my intentions or like I’m going to do them every single time I’m with my family. I literally find myself incapable to do anything because my mind is constantly repeating me to harm my family which is terrible!! I have no idea what is going on, and if this is normal for OCD or not. It disturbs me so much to feel that I can’t escape this, I can’t stand it anymore and I’m afraid i might end up doing it. I feel so trapped. I don’t wanna live anymore but I don’t wanna die either. I just wanna disappear.

Harm OCD

c.cat

Date posted: 3y ago

There were times where I was in a similar spot. A core fear of mine is losing my mom- so my harm ocd stuck to her a ton. And at times I’d get disgusting thoughts like oh just get it over with. I would never ever hurt anyone so it freaked me out and I was scared to even sit by her. I learned that it is part of ocd that creates the I’m not going to be fine till it happens. It’s because with having ocd it makes us feel like we need to be in control of everything and have absolute certainty, so that is what is currently happening to you. At least I think. I think your mind is so overwhelmed that it’s trying to grab onto anything that would seem to give you control

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

Hey i’m so sorry, and I relate to that so much. Unluckily my urges and thoughts target basically everyone, which makes me feel even more miserable. And I hope you’re right on what you said, makes a lot of sense because OCD wants us to have certainty all the time. Thank you so much :)

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3y ago

Comment deleted by user

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

Omg yes, I feel all the time like my OCD is forcing me to do it and it’s awful!! Because I don’t know how to escape that feeling. Thank you so much for your advice, yes it such a hard thing to do because it feels like it’s done, like you agree with your thoughts and it’s just a matter of time for them to happen. Terrifying. But thanks for sharing, I’m here for you too:)

elizabethcro...

Date posted: 3y ago

😞

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

I’m dealing with this currently at my moms house . The anxiety surrounding the weird and AWFUL urge is unexplainable to anyone other than someone who knows how insane it Makes you feel. Listen, you helped me so much by sharing this..,I really needed to read something that related to me rn and this is exact. I’m so sorry you’re in the same boat but I’m here to say I’m right there with you . I was driving in the car with mom and I kept having this ocd just get it over with feeling and yank the wheel! The anxiety was so bad I wanted to open my door and jump out then when we got home I couldn’t escape the guilty feelings of what if I had done that, what if I do in the future. My mother is my best friend in the world and the Shame I feel that I cannot just love my time with her is so crippling. I am practicing erp and that’s helping with words but urges are much more stressful. Someone else here mentioned sitting with the anxiety and letting it pass , which I do but wowwwww is that some really uncomfortable anxiety. I read somewhere we really need determination with ocd, and so I remind myself this isn’t easy takes extra work. I hope this helps. And again super thanks for your honesty, this is my safe experience!! And many of Us here I’m Sure .🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

Thank you so much too, your experience made me feel that I’m not alone. I am so sorry you’re going through this as well, but we’re together in this <3 yes urges are definitely such a difficult thing to experience. I literally feel so disturbed and overwhelmed every time it happens. Definitely the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced.. and thank you so much, it helps me so much to share things with others, so I would love if we could talk, if you want to. Much love :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

@Anonymous Thank you so much!!! Hope you’re doing ok today. All I know is these things are normal for OCD (even though feels so abnormal) the fact we have the same upsetting experiences sometimes makes easier to handle, because we aren’t alone. I like to think we are all working together:) Such an important reminder always. Again, hope you’re ok today, I’ve been sitting through the discomfort and Trying not to freak out and start thinking. It’s helping but hard to do!!🙏🏻🙏🏻🌷🌷🌷🌷

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

@Anonymous Thank you!! I hope you’re doing well today too!! Yes thank you so much for sharing your experience, it helps me a lot to know I’m not alone :) I’m glad you’re working through that! I wish you the best! Sadly is not something I can do, I feel like I can not just leave my thoughts be there because they are something important that needs to be figured out. It sucks, but I hope I can get professional help too. Much love for you:) and if you ever need someone to talk to, reply in here and I’ll be glad to help you!

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

Also really helps and makes me feel better to say exact feelings I have! If you ever need to share about stuff always here!! I am in AA and I feel the same way alcoholics need each other to talk to people with OCD do as well .🌷🙏🏻

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13w ago

Does anyone ever mimic/imagine harm OCD thoughts?

Does anyone imagine they are doing their harm thoughts during an action, making you feel like you acted on your thoughts? For example, someone gave me a hug and at the last second I imagined I was touching something I shouldn’t during the hug? I want to make it clear it’s something I have zero desire to do! But the problem is, I thought it on purpose and it makes me sick !! Obviously nothing happened but my mind is telling me that was me trying to do it. Even though it was physically impossible to do. Am I a monster or could this be OCD? I’m freaking out and don’t want to be here anymore. I feel like I’m the exception and that this isn’t OCD. I know I post about this stuff a lot but I’m struggling and don’t know what to do.

frannyb

Date posted: 11w ago

I can't do this anymore

I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.

Anonymous

Date posted: 11w ago

Questions

There are times my harm ocd has me convinced that my feelings of self harm or suicide and harm are real and that any moment I could commit the act on myself or my family. Is there anyone who can chime in on this. I feel like all the time I want to leave run away or avoid my family because of these thoughts. Like I shouldn’t be around my children and I don’t trust myself.

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