- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey I’m glad you are trying to help your son. I actually had a little of moral ocd and feeling like I should do certain things. I also experience intrusive thoughts. My advice would be to lean in to the anxiety. It will be hard at first, but with slow steps your son can get through his ocd. For example, if he sees a piece of trash on the ground, walk past it and don’t pick it up. Sit with the anxiety and recognize that it will decrease. Regarding the thoughts, my therapist would tell me that the thoughts are just thoughts. You can tell your son that just because he is having these thoughts, does not mean he agrees with them. Just because we are having these thoughts does not mean that they are true. Usually ocd blows things out of proportion, hense why these are called intrusive thoughts. Last, the hardest thing for my parents to do was to not give in to my ocd. My therapist stressed how important it is to not give in to the ocd. This would be giving reassurance because over time, giving reassurance and doing compulsions make you feel better in the moment but the thoughts will come back. In the long run, not giving in during the current moment will help you not give in down the road. It is crazy how our brain works and that if we stop trying to get rid of the thoughts, they will eventually go away. If we continue to try to get rid of the thoughts, they will come back stronger.
- Date posted
- 4y
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!
- Date posted
- 4y
Don’t let him confess! Right now his anxiety is beginning to peak and by not confessing he’s breaking the ocd cycle and his anxiety will eventually decrease and the thoughts will be easier to manage for him. Remember it may get worse before it gets better with ocd. With kids I’ve heard an analogy about “not feeding the monster” used to make it easier for them to understand their ocd. By not “feeding the monster” they are starving it and making it weaker and less scary.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much!!!!! I can’t believe how you named the verbiage we’ve been using! You’re absolutely right! The anxiety went crazy when we stopped him from confessing! Last two days have been brutal with anxiety. From where we were this morning to now, is night and day.
- Date posted
- 4y
That is so crazy that you put it in those terms, because that is the terminology we’ve been using. Another thing I’ve noticed is that I haven’t let him confess any negative thoughts for the past 48 hours, and this is the highest his anxiety has ever been.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to this post.
- Date posted
- 4y
I started reading a book called “Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts” by Winston and Seif. It’s a book you can probably read with your son or on your own. I found it to be helpful in a way that’s not too heavy but useful / practical. More books about children and adolescents with OCD. https://tourette.ca/books-for-teens-and-children-with-ocd/
- Date posted
- 4y
Wow!!! Thank you SO MUCH!!!!
- Date posted
- 4y
Great book BTW
- Date posted
- 4y
I actually feel the same way as your eleven year old, just my ocd does affect my everyday life, but I’m getting better. When I confess to my mom, she says “ocd has no place here” because we learned that reassurance will actually make the ocd increasingly worse. Try telling him that ocd has no place here. I wish the best for you and your 11 year old!
- Date posted
- 4y
Great Advice!!! We’ve stopped the reassurance and allowing the confessing!!! Just working on him applying these tools! Came up with a little song about him kicking OCD’s butt!!! Appreciate the feedback more than you know.
- Date posted
- 4y
💙
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
This is my first post & I’m terrified. I have not been officially diagnosed w ocd yet but in a nutshell - I confessed some things I felt guilty about to my husband about five months ago. ( nothing too major ) but in our past, 20+ years ago I was unfaithful and it caused a LOT of harm, which I told him all of that back when it happened. But in recent months, I started getting consumed by guilt. I couldnt eat or sleep until I finally broke one night and told him all these recent little things I felt guilty about. Acting flirty, etc. And for him it like brought back allll the trauma from 20 years ago which I didn’t know would happen. But it’s so bad. He says he wishes I never told him. But even w that, I still feel like I keep thinking of “new things “ I did in the past, thoughts I had or dreams, or conversation w an ex,things like that. Because I am a Christian I also keep feeling like it’s the Holy Spirit telling me I haven’t told him everything and I need to. But I also know God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear .. I clearly need help, but I also want Christian based help so that it’s in line w what I believe ? I can’t eat and my anxiety is so bad again - I know if I confess more things it will keep destroying him, I don’t think he really understands or believes I have ocd. Thanks if you made it this far
- Date posted
- 19w
I am 16 and struggling with OCD. It is causing me to do irrational things that I wouldn't normally do and cause issues with my parents. I feel like a terrible person and want to take back things that have happen and don't know how to make it better. The OCD causes things to get stuck in my brain and my questions have to be answered and talked about. I don't know how to let thoughts go and ways that would be healthy for myself and my parent when this happens. Any advice?
- Date posted
- 12w
I have been really really struggling for the past 3 months and haven’t been able to stop intrusive thoughts/ rumination and confessing. It’s making me question my entire life, my relationship and even who I am as a person. It’s mainly effecting my relationship, I am so afraid that I did something or think things that are definitely hurtful to my partner. I know my brain is contorting my own memory and making things seem so much worse. I also know I haven’t done anything bad, all my things I’ve confessed about have been considered “normal” and I’ve been told that “you’re normal, you didn’t do anything wrong”. But I have felt this intense sense of guilt and shame and it doesn’t go away, I can’t even be a normal person anymore. And I keep searching for “just one more thing I need to tell” and I don’t want to keep searching my brain of every time I’ve said or done anything that I can distort and make seem 1000% worse. I’m isolating myself and just feel like I’m a bad person. I keep confessing my thoughts, feeling, urges, etc. to my partner and while I know I would never do any of these I feel like my ocd is trying to convince me that maybe I would because “why else would you think it or feel guilty” and that makes it so much worse. I really need guidance on how to handle this. What do I do to stop feeling like this and heal?
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