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- 4y
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You all are amazing!
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Thank you all for you kind words and support.
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Hi Amanda. I can totally relate to this! I have the contamination aspect as well. I worked in a hospital during the height of Covid-19 and spiraled out of control. I ended up quitting my job and haven't been outside much. I'm just starting ERP and hoping that will help.
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- 4y
Hello Anonymous, thank you for responding. I'm sorry that you ended up having to quit, but I get it, I worked in a hospital prior to covid and there's no way I could have worked in a hospital during covid. I hope ERP helps you.
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- 4y
Hey I struggle with contamination ocd ever since covid hit. At least on the bright sight your able to go to work. I'm stuck isolating in my house. I get panic attacks going to the store and I have to come home and shower after Clorox wiping every down. Then the next day I still full like everything is dirty and I spend 8+ hours scrubbing my house and food again. Then I'm still afraid to touch stuff without constantly washing my hands after I touch anything in my house. I'm stuck living in fear and keep hitting rock bottom. I know you can get through it. Keep your head up.
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Hi Galaxy89, thank you for responding. I was doing the same thing and had to take 5 months off of work because I was having panic attacks daily. Luckily I found a doctor who helped me find the right medication, so that I can go back to work again. I've been at work for a month now, I still constantly feel dirty and like everyone and everything has covid but I'm doing better at handling it. Don't get me wrong I still have sanitizing rituals and still panic but not as bad. It's been a long road for sure and I still have a ways to go but I'm not going back to where I was, now that I can see the light. Hang in there, I know it's hard but keep fighting.
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I'm in the process of relearning and reintegration into the outside world, and am finding it difficult. Hopefully ERP will help.
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It is difficult. When I went back to work I would make myself sick thinking about it, but every day it got a little easier. I started out at 2hrs for a week and went up from there. Just keep reminding yourself of all the progress you have made and that you are proud of yourself for doing such, that helped me, since I have a bad habit of emotionally beating myself up... definitely my own worst critic. Thank you for responding Anonymous. Hang in there! You can do it.
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Well at least you found help. No one except my insurance. I don't work at the moment because of covid. I can't pay for anything. I'm barley getting by. Good luck to you hope you get better soon than later.
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I'm so sorry to hear that. There really should be more resources than what there is. I had the same issue with my insurance and have to pay for help myself. I hope you can figure something out soon
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I'm struggling on a dad to day living. Idk how anymore and I have no support. On my hard days I just want.to let ocd win.
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I'm sorry you are going through this. Don't let ocd win, you are worth much more than that. I know you are going through a really tough time but it will get better. The universe always provides and it's always light after the dark. Keep your head up and don't let this invisible bully win.
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@Amanda J I'm such a mess anymore. Fear has taken over and idk how to stop it. Yes there is light at the end of the tunnel but every time I get close to the light the tunnel closes on me.
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@Galaxy89 I went through that for 5 months before I actually saw any progress. Don't give up
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Yes, 100%. My partner got covid last year and I had to care for him and that just SET ME OFF. Then I was diagnosed with cancer and obsessing with not getting sick so I wouldnt be denied access to my treatment appointments or surgeries. It was hell. I wenot through the scabbed, red hands, and the intense showers (still do them, honestly) and the extreme sanitization. It's been over a year and I'm interested as much better place now with medication and therapy and committing to ERP. I'm not all the way better (like I said, I still do intense showers and wear an n95 when I go for treatment etc) but there is light at the end of the tunnel!
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Wow catattak, I can't even imagine that. I definitely would have been a wreck! I hope your partner is better. I'm sorry about your cancer diagnosis, that must be scary on it's own without all of the added stress about contamination, getting sick, missing appointments, etc. You are so strong for getting through it. I was worried about getting sick and missing appointments with my doctor for my anxiety and panic while we were trying to figure out the right medication and worried I'd miss appointments with my counselor too. I was so worried that I was wearing two masks everyday, luckily I have gotten better about that and only wear one now. I hope you kick cancers butt!
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@Amanda J Everyone's struggle is a struggle regardless of the situation. You are doing amazing with a single mask! I can only do that outdoors. I'm so proud of you for that and its inspiring to think I could try that with some bravery too! Medication, therapy, support systems... they all make a difference and we've made it so far! I'm excited for the growth we will both make on this journey :)
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@catattak Thank you for the positive words. I know you can do a single mask too. Maybe try it just going outside or running a quick errand and just start small at first. I know you can do it! I'm excited to keep moving forward, one step at a time. Keep pushing forward. You are stronger than you know šŖš» If you ever need to talk I'm here
Related posts
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- 24w
Hello, i have very severe contamination ocd, and as i am writing this i feel my hands are dirty lol, but anyways i wanted to know if thereās anyone specialised in Contamination ocd? No matter what type because i really need help and i looked up things but it doesnāt help please!!
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- 24w
sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone š©· i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ācontaminatedā. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i canāt let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i donāt want them in my space. i canāt be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also canāt bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because iām bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd š„²š„²š
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- 23w
This is a repost, only because the last post had no responses lol. Please if you have any advice share. Iāve been trying hard to sit with the feeling of anxiety. Actually thatās the problem, recently Iāve been trying to sit with the thought (and Iām able to for a few hours or until the next morning) and then my anxiety comes back so strong and itās like I need to clean everything off. I see images of gross laundry getting on everything or my hand and then I need to clean everything off to un contaminate it. Sometimes the thought happens later at night so I just sleep through and the next morning I will wake up with intense anxiety about contamination. That happened yesterday and I had to clean everything off and since then Iāve been traumatized so Iāve been doing compulsions like avoiding the bathroom and being around people so I know I couldnāt have done anything wrong. Actually recently my biggest compulsion has been recording every time I get up to go eat, etc so that I know I couldnāt have done anything. Any advice or help???
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