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- 4y
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- 4y
You all are amazing!
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- 4y
Thank you all for you kind words and support.
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- 4y
Hi Amanda. I can totally relate to this! I have the contamination aspect as well. I worked in a hospital during the height of Covid-19 and spiraled out of control. I ended up quitting my job and haven't been outside much. I'm just starting ERP and hoping that will help.
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- 4y
Hello Anonymous, thank you for responding. I'm sorry that you ended up having to quit, but I get it, I worked in a hospital prior to covid and there's no way I could have worked in a hospital during covid. I hope ERP helps you.
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- 4y
Hey I struggle with contamination ocd ever since covid hit. At least on the bright sight your able to go to work. I'm stuck isolating in my house. I get panic attacks going to the store and I have to come home and shower after Clorox wiping every down. Then the next day I still full like everything is dirty and I spend 8+ hours scrubbing my house and food again. Then I'm still afraid to touch stuff without constantly washing my hands after I touch anything in my house. I'm stuck living in fear and keep hitting rock bottom. I know you can get through it. Keep your head up.
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- 4y
Hi Galaxy89, thank you for responding. I was doing the same thing and had to take 5 months off of work because I was having panic attacks daily. Luckily I found a doctor who helped me find the right medication, so that I can go back to work again. I've been at work for a month now, I still constantly feel dirty and like everyone and everything has covid but I'm doing better at handling it. Don't get me wrong I still have sanitizing rituals and still panic but not as bad. It's been a long road for sure and I still have a ways to go but I'm not going back to where I was, now that I can see the light. Hang in there, I know it's hard but keep fighting.
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I'm in the process of relearning and reintegration into the outside world, and am finding it difficult. Hopefully ERP will help.
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It is difficult. When I went back to work I would make myself sick thinking about it, but every day it got a little easier. I started out at 2hrs for a week and went up from there. Just keep reminding yourself of all the progress you have made and that you are proud of yourself for doing such, that helped me, since I have a bad habit of emotionally beating myself up... definitely my own worst critic. Thank you for responding Anonymous. Hang in there! You can do it.
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Well at least you found help. No one except my insurance. I don't work at the moment because of covid. I can't pay for anything. I'm barley getting by. Good luck to you hope you get better soon than later.
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I'm so sorry to hear that. There really should be more resources than what there is. I had the same issue with my insurance and have to pay for help myself. I hope you can figure something out soon
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I'm struggling on a dad to day living. Idk how anymore and I have no support. On my hard days I just want.to let ocd win.
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I'm sorry you are going through this. Don't let ocd win, you are worth much more than that. I know you are going through a really tough time but it will get better. The universe always provides and it's always light after the dark. Keep your head up and don't let this invisible bully win.
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@Amanda J I'm such a mess anymore. Fear has taken over and idk how to stop it. Yes there is light at the end of the tunnel but every time I get close to the light the tunnel closes on me.
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@Galaxy89 I went through that for 5 months before I actually saw any progress. Don't give up
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Yes, 100%. My partner got covid last year and I had to care for him and that just SET ME OFF. Then I was diagnosed with cancer and obsessing with not getting sick so I wouldnt be denied access to my treatment appointments or surgeries. It was hell. I wenot through the scabbed, red hands, and the intense showers (still do them, honestly) and the extreme sanitization. It's been over a year and I'm interested as much better place now with medication and therapy and committing to ERP. I'm not all the way better (like I said, I still do intense showers and wear an n95 when I go for treatment etc) but there is light at the end of the tunnel!
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Wow catattak, I can't even imagine that. I definitely would have been a wreck! I hope your partner is better. I'm sorry about your cancer diagnosis, that must be scary on it's own without all of the added stress about contamination, getting sick, missing appointments, etc. You are so strong for getting through it. I was worried about getting sick and missing appointments with my doctor for my anxiety and panic while we were trying to figure out the right medication and worried I'd miss appointments with my counselor too. I was so worried that I was wearing two masks everyday, luckily I have gotten better about that and only wear one now. I hope you kick cancers butt!
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@Amanda J Everyone's struggle is a struggle regardless of the situation. You are doing amazing with a single mask! I can only do that outdoors. I'm so proud of you for that and its inspiring to think I could try that with some bravery too! Medication, therapy, support systems... they all make a difference and we've made it so far! I'm excited for the growth we will both make on this journey :)
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@catattak Thank you for the positive words. I know you can do a single mask too. Maybe try it just going outside or running a quick errand and just start small at first. I know you can do it! I'm excited to keep moving forward, one step at a time. Keep pushing forward. You are stronger than you know šŖš» If you ever need to talk I'm here
Related posts
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- 24w
Im having a OCD specifically contamination OCD flare up all month and I donāt want to feel this way going into March, Iāve thrown out clothes, towels, stayed up for hours doing compulsions, washed my hands till they crack and bleed, I have washing pilling up cause Iām so overwhelmed by all the extra things Iāve added cause I thought it was contaminated. Itās completely draining me to the point where Iāve become sleep deprived and are avoiding part of my home because they are deemed contaminated to meā¦I only moved in a few months ago, I had a roach problem and using baits and insecticides really messed with my ocd too. anyone have any tips or tricks to make this easier? I wasnāt doing this bad in January :( thankyou in advance :)
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- 24w
Does anyone have any tips on how to handle contamination OCD?
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- 18w
(long read ahead, sorry lol) Iāve struggled with ocd for as far back as I can remember. I find that it gets worse with stress, and recently Iāve really been struggling with the contamination aspect of my ocd. Iām worried about it becoming unmanageable and negatively affecting my relationship with my partner. Iāve been living with my boyfriend since January (got kicked out of my house a week after I turned 18, itās for the better though my house is toxic as hell) and I love living with him, but him and his family arenāt as concerned with cleaning as I am used to. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 2 years and thereās been many times throughout our relationship that his struggle with depression severely impacted his ability to keep up with cleaning his room. This is something I completely understand because Iāve struggled with it too so iāve often helped him clean, and since iāve moved in heās done so much better at keeping up with cleaning (especially because he knows about my issues with clutter, mess, germs, etc.) He is really good at being accommodating towards my needs (not overly so, iām aware that recovering includes accepting being uncomfortable), but itās so hard for me to differentiate between what is the normal standard for cleanliness and hygiene and whatās excessive and unhealthy. I get so stressed out every single day over the thought of how dirty everything is. He has 3 cats that mainly stay in his room (he has a catio attached to his window/side of the house) and dogs which stay on the opposite side of the house and backyard, so there is fur everywhere constantly (iām also allergic to cats but itās not severe). I canāt stop thinking about how they are getting germs from their litter box all over everything. They also used to piss under his bed and in his closet when his room used to be a mess and itās soaked into the floor so no matter what it stinks. Itās so hard to bring myself to walk around the house without slippers because my feet will get visibly dirty and my socks would get covered in hair. I always think about how my boyfriend sometimes walks on the rugs in the bathroom in shoes and all the germs that spreads. Thereās so many more things but this is already getting long and I am shaking just thinking about how unclean everything is. I want to deep clean the entire house myself so I can get it to where Itās not like psychological torture everyday and itās easier to maintain but I have been so busy I donāt have the time. I am worried about my boyfriend thinking I donāt like living with him or that I think thatās heās dirty but i donāt. We have had several conversations about this and heās reassured me that he knows none of my obsessive thoughts are personal but I still feel so bad about it. I would like to get therapy to help work through this but currently that is not an option for me. I know things will get better once I get through the main things in my life that are causing a lot of stress and therefore making my ocd flair up, but I need advice on what to do in the mean time. I keep having moments where all I can do is shake and cry and clean and I feel bad for my poor boyfriend who can only sit next to me and try to comfort me or help me clean. I also donāt want to make him worried that nothing he does is enough for me (iāve also already talked to him about this and told him about how I can never even be clean enough for myself and that I donāt think heās dirty). Thereās been many times where I want to tell him to do things that I think might be my own unhealthy compulsions (ex. not wearing shoes in the house or in our room, not getting into bed with socks on, making sure to completely dry off before getting out the shower, put makeup and jewelry back where they belong right after using them, etc.) but i canāt tell if theyāre reasonable or not and i try to not tell him unless itās something that severely distresses me. Iām aware that everything is going to have germs no matter what and have been using NERās to help manage my thought spirals/rumination. I know that I shouldnāt keep doing compulsions because it just offers temporary relief and makes the problem worse because nothing will ever be enough. I just feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless and exhausted and want some feedback.
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