Hii. So this is kind of a weird thing but bear with me. I know when people come out, others will say "oh we've known" or like "I'm not surprised" and that's definitely an insensitive thing to say but I fear that my friends/peers talk about me and think I give off bi/lesbian energy but don't tell me. Like if my SOOCD isn't real and I came out one day, would people say that? I'm just afraid that my friends talk behind my back about me in that way and so I go the extra mile to avoid those LGBTQ+ stereotypes whatever that may be. Even stupid shit like having a nose piercing or clear phone case etc. My OCD clings onto that thought and so I'm always conscious in my head about not trying to give off that energy based off how I present myself and it's so exhausting like I wish I could just wear whatever without being like "oh I saw a tik tok one time that says this type of shirt is a gay thing" or whatever. I am not in any way homophobic as I'm an ally of the LGBTQ+ community but my OCD just drives me crazy and because of that I have this constant fear of being perceived as bi/lesbian. Sorry this was long and all over the place LMAO but if anyone can relate/ has advice it would be so appreciated because I honestly just feel so alone

If it helps at all I also have very vainy and bony hands and I also have this worry! It’s just one of ocds stupid little digs

@Melodyocd like before ocd i never worried about them but rather found them pretty but now my brain is telling me that i found them pretty because they look manly and i like that my cousin and mom have the same hand shapes and they always reassure me but when my hands are dangling at my sides and i look at them i literally remember those thirst traps on tiktok of lesbians with veiny hands and i spiral into my thoughts i am trying to avoid looking at them like it's that bad

@Nour04 It’s all just genetics, my mum and brother both have the same hands as me too! I hated my hands forever bc they looked so bony and gross, but if it helps my mum was asked to be a hand model once because they loved how beautiful they were!!

@Melodyocd that is so sweet of you to share this with me and make me feel better it's just that feeling i get when looking down at my hands and then i feel like those guys/lesbians who look down at their veiny hands and i worry i may be trans/bi/lesbian thank you again for being so helpful

@Nour04 I completely understand and relate to your worry! I think the best thing we can do is say the whole “maybe, but maybe not” thing to those kinda thoughts

@Melodyocd it's so distressing but you're right it must be the best way ti deal with it and not actually run to tests and checks and compulsions and reassurance

@Nour04 Yeah exactly, all those things will just make it worse in the long run!

That makes me feel so better to know I'm not alone. I relate to you in that my best friend is gay and will constantly pick things apart about people like "oh that's so gay" or whatever. I had a nose piercing for a while and he's like are you sure you're not..ya know??? And it's so so frustrating especially because people don't know this internal battle I'm constantly facing. I try not to let what other people think bother me but I get in my head a lot and wonder if other people think I give off bi/lesbian energy and if that means something about myself. I also have a boyfriend and wonder if people are like "oh it's a cover up" or "I wonder when she'll come out" and it drives me literally insane

@California2325 Honestly I relate to those thoughts so much, it’s so normal for this theme I think. I never have had a boyfriend due to me being seriously anxious, and I always get worried people think it’s because I’m gay/bi really and in denial, it’s scary! But I know deep down it’s probably because I have bad anxiety disorders and change makes me have panic attacks, so when something new happens like a relationship, it’s scary because I haven’t done that before! Honestly I think we have to try out absolute hardest to not give a shite what other people think, I think a lot of people with ocd care a lotttt about others opinions which deffo doesn’t help! (Myself included)