- Username
- pennydreadful
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Please get therapy if it is possible for you. It seems that these thoughts are starting to become more debilitating as you ruminate on past actions ( such as the argument) which is causing you elevated stress and anxiety, and causing you to have thoughts involving “what if’s” . It’s a very good sign you both were able to talk openly about what’s going through your mind. But I would recommend seeking a specialist . OCD (although you’re not diagnosed yet) can come and go in different forms and severities, and it is best to get it as soon as possible and start ERP if you do have it. You may have done CBT before for your GAD but this is not as effective if you do have OCD. It’s important to see a OCD/Anxiety specialist, as to not have other therapists/psychologists confuse your symptoms for relationship issues if they are not as knowledgeable on the different forms of OCD. Your OCD makes everything feel urgent. Try your best to not make any “big decisions” when you are feeling anxious. Thinking about whether or not to break up with your SO may become an obsession, however, it is best to realize that this is most of the time not what you want to do, but your OCD trying to push it onto you to relieve the anxiety you are feeling at that moment.
Very good comment
thank you so much for the reply :) sadly, i cant get therapy at the moment due to cost and time, but i def plan to get one in the future asap. do you have any advice for dealing with this feeling? i’ve had family members tell me to distract myself, but i find myself subconsciously thinking about it and ruminating as well as checking myself for strong reactions to thoughts like breaking up.
@alixacceptance It is important to distract yourself! However, staying busy can sometimes become a compulsion, thus why I recommended therapy! Compulsions can be very tricky in that aspect. I definitely recommend watching some YouTube videos on the subject. I could recommend some for you if you’d like!
@tealdinosaur please do!! :)
Also, it is the effect of your rumination. Compulsive rumination as you are trying to figure out all this. The best way is to stop ruminating and trying to figure out all this now. Check Michael Greenberg website for his sobering advice on rumination, it’s effect and how to stop. Do not ruin it because of the rumination
thank you so much for the reply! and as for the read recommendation, i’ll read it right now :)
I’ve been in a situation very similar to this. I agree so much with what the other person has commented. It really is your brain trying to relieve the stress of the argument. I wonder if it would be helpful to remind yourself that all relationships involve arguments and conflict, and that it’s okay to have been upset by this one. And to remember that being upset or hurt isn’t the same as wanting the relationship to end.
it feels like im drowning. i feel trapped. ***rocd vent*** my rocd has made things difficult in my relationship with my boyfriend, and i’m frightened that it’s the end i cant breathe without thinking it’s the end of him and me, i cant eat at all and i cant stop living with fear it’s been rocky lately with him, but i’m determined to keep going i want to because i truly cherish him, and love him yet my brain keeps asking me if i really do want to keep going, if i really do love him, and if i’m really okay with spending my days just dreading the end im obviously not, i want things to be okay again, but my ocd keeps haunting and haunting me and i’m so scared that these thoughts are my real ones, that these are my true feelings ive been open about my ocd with him, and this has contributed to the rocky patch it doesn’t help that i’m not formally diagnosed, and it also doesn’t help that i’ve been doubting whether or not i have ocd. (i have what i believe are a lot of the symptoms, but even then i doubt myself) i just feel like i’m drowning. i want peace in my head and in my heart. i want things to be back to normal with him and me, and i want to be happy. it just doesn’t feel the same, and i feel like it’s my fault for starting us on this rocky path. the last thing i want is a breakup, yet my thoughts tell me that i’d like freedom. they chant that i need to escape and run far far away. they make me feel like the only way out of the way i feel is by ending it, and i don’t want to end it. the only things moving me forward is the knowledge that i’ll get to speak to a professional soon (in two weeks), and the hope that things get better in time. thank you to whoever reads my rant, and i’m sorry if this is triggering. i just needed to write how i feel somewhere. reassurance has been driving me downhill, so please don’t reassure me. if possible, just give me advice on how to cope with feeling this way.
so i dont really know where to start this off other than saying I haven’t been diagnosed with ROCD but it’s the only label I can associate with. For the past two weeks I’ve felt extremely anxious and keep thinking “What if I’m using my boyfriend?” Or “what if I just see him as a friend and not my boyfriend?” Or “he deserves someone who truly loves him” even though I know deep down I love him. we’ve been dating for a month and these thoughts just started occurring two weeks ago and it pushed me into a mental drought where I couldn’t eat, focus, and I lost the motivation to do a lot. it’ll get so bad where I just wish I was back to my normal happy self but then my brain questions whether I was ever truly happy or just lying. I feel like a terrible girlfriend and Ive communicated to him that I haven’t been feeling the best mentally and I’ve reminded him that if he ever wanted to end things, he has every right to but when I tell him those things, my brain immediately says that I’m just saying those things so he can break up with me so I don’t have to feel guilty about breaking up with him. But I don’t want to break up with him. I don’t know what to do anymore and it all feels so hopeless
Really need advice ….. my boyfriend and I got into a bad argument last weekend. We hardly ever fight so it was out of character for us, I admit we had been drinking a little so I think the alcohol was part of it. It was just a dumb fight over nothing in particular, but end of the night my boyfriend said “alright fine we’re done”. He’s never said that before to me and I haven’t either, and I at the time I kinda knew he didn’t actually mean it, and it was confirmed the next morning he didn’t. He’s been extremely apologetic since and knows how much it hurt my feelings to hear and knows he should never say that again just to say it - but I’m obsessing. We’ve been together 1.5 years, we talk about getting engaged all the time, etc. but now I’m obsessing over “what if we’re toxic?”. We have an overall very healthy relationship (communicate well, don’t name call, prioritize each other, don’t fight often, Etc.) and we’ve never had a bad fight like this before so it just freaked me out. I know he didn’t mean it, but I can’t stop obsessing over it of like “what does this mean, does this mean we have to end, are we toxic because he said that?”. I’m also comparing the argument to other peoples relationships, asking questions if that’s ever been said in other relationships, etc. Please help
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