- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Please get therapy if it is possible for you. It seems that these thoughts are starting to become more debilitating as you ruminate on past actions ( such as the argument) which is causing you elevated stress and anxiety, and causing you to have thoughts involving “what if’s” . It’s a very good sign you both were able to talk openly about what’s going through your mind. But I would recommend seeking a specialist . OCD (although you’re not diagnosed yet) can come and go in different forms and severities, and it is best to get it as soon as possible and start ERP if you do have it. You may have done CBT before for your GAD but this is not as effective if you do have OCD. It’s important to see a OCD/Anxiety specialist, as to not have other therapists/psychologists confuse your symptoms for relationship issues if they are not as knowledgeable on the different forms of OCD. Your OCD makes everything feel urgent. Try your best to not make any “big decisions” when you are feeling anxious. Thinking about whether or not to break up with your SO may become an obsession, however, it is best to realize that this is most of the time not what you want to do, but your OCD trying to push it onto you to relieve the anxiety you are feeling at that moment.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Very good comment
- Date posted
- 3y ago
thank you so much for the reply :) sadly, i cant get therapy at the moment due to cost and time, but i def plan to get one in the future asap. do you have any advice for dealing with this feeling? i’ve had family members tell me to distract myself, but i find myself subconsciously thinking about it and ruminating as well as checking myself for strong reactions to thoughts like breaking up.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@alixacceptance It is important to distract yourself! However, staying busy can sometimes become a compulsion, thus why I recommended therapy! Compulsions can be very tricky in that aspect. I definitely recommend watching some YouTube videos on the subject. I could recommend some for you if you’d like!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@tealdinosaur please do!! :)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Also, it is the effect of your rumination. Compulsive rumination as you are trying to figure out all this. The best way is to stop ruminating and trying to figure out all this now. Check Michael Greenberg website for his sobering advice on rumination, it’s effect and how to stop. Do not ruin it because of the rumination
- Date posted
- 3y ago
thank you so much for the reply! and as for the read recommendation, i’ll read it right now :)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’ve been in a situation very similar to this. I agree so much with what the other person has commented. It really is your brain trying to relieve the stress of the argument. I wonder if it would be helpful to remind yourself that all relationships involve arguments and conflict, and that it’s okay to have been upset by this one. And to remember that being upset or hurt isn’t the same as wanting the relationship to end.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w ago
This might contain triggering content, but I'm also wondering if others have dealt with this similar thought, and if so, how to deal with it? Overall, I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm able to eat again, which I hadn't been able to do because of how much anxiety I'd been experiencing. I'm spending time around loved ones and not just rotting in my room, and I've been able to wake up without immediately being bombarded by intrusive thoughts. When things first got really bad, I'd wake my mom up every night for reassurance, but I haven't done that in a while either. I'm really proud of myself, but there's still this nagging thought in my mind... While looking through others posts on here, hoping to find advice that'd fit my situation, I ended up making things worse. Someone mentioned how they had a fear that they'd purposely search for illegal content (related to POCD). I panicked, and "what ifs" flooded my thoughts. "What if the intrusive thoughts affect who I am as a person, and I do that?" I'm terrified that I'll search for those things, which I know means I wouldn't do it. But then, another person on here said they'd actually looked for those things, and that freaked me out even more. Does that mean it's possible for that to happen to me? I don't want to do that, but I keep having intrusive thoughts surrounding it. I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm just... stuck. I don't know what to do. I've spoken with other people who have the same fears, but how do I manage this? It's not something I've even thought about before seeing those posts. I've been practicing accepting the uncertainty, but I'm really struggling with this one. I hate this. This morning, I woke up, and the intrusive thoughts were back. It's just disheartening.
- Date posted
- 13w ago
i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
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