- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Please get therapy if it is possible for you. It seems that these thoughts are starting to become more debilitating as you ruminate on past actions ( such as the argument) which is causing you elevated stress and anxiety, and causing you to have thoughts involving “what if’s” . It’s a very good sign you both were able to talk openly about what’s going through your mind. But I would recommend seeking a specialist . OCD (although you’re not diagnosed yet) can come and go in different forms and severities, and it is best to get it as soon as possible and start ERP if you do have it. You may have done CBT before for your GAD but this is not as effective if you do have OCD. It’s important to see a OCD/Anxiety specialist, as to not have other therapists/psychologists confuse your symptoms for relationship issues if they are not as knowledgeable on the different forms of OCD. Your OCD makes everything feel urgent. Try your best to not make any “big decisions” when you are feeling anxious. Thinking about whether or not to break up with your SO may become an obsession, however, it is best to realize that this is most of the time not what you want to do, but your OCD trying to push it onto you to relieve the anxiety you are feeling at that moment.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Very good comment
- Date posted
- 3y ago
thank you so much for the reply :) sadly, i cant get therapy at the moment due to cost and time, but i def plan to get one in the future asap. do you have any advice for dealing with this feeling? i’ve had family members tell me to distract myself, but i find myself subconsciously thinking about it and ruminating as well as checking myself for strong reactions to thoughts like breaking up.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@alixacceptance It is important to distract yourself! However, staying busy can sometimes become a compulsion, thus why I recommended therapy! Compulsions can be very tricky in that aspect. I definitely recommend watching some YouTube videos on the subject. I could recommend some for you if you’d like!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@tealdinosaur please do!! :)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Also, it is the effect of your rumination. Compulsive rumination as you are trying to figure out all this. The best way is to stop ruminating and trying to figure out all this now. Check Michael Greenberg website for his sobering advice on rumination, it’s effect and how to stop. Do not ruin it because of the rumination
- Date posted
- 3y ago
thank you so much for the reply! and as for the read recommendation, i’ll read it right now :)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’ve been in a situation very similar to this. I agree so much with what the other person has commented. It really is your brain trying to relieve the stress of the argument. I wonder if it would be helpful to remind yourself that all relationships involve arguments and conflict, and that it’s okay to have been upset by this one. And to remember that being upset or hurt isn’t the same as wanting the relationship to end.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
- Date posted
- 8w ago
My psychologist tells me because my thoughts are based off of facts/ broken boundaries which is why I am having thoughts of am i in love , am I settling , and feeling guilty I should let him go to find someone who wouldn’t doubt him that I do not have rocd. She states rocd is intrusive , irrational thoughts not based off of real facts and I may have ptsd not ocd. He kissed someone else before we were official and he finds a certain type of female attractive that I find disgusting . So I spin about these issues all day long to the point I’m so unhappy with him and had to break up . It’s been over a month now but I’m still severely anxious and depressed The thing is I can’t stop thinking about this 24/7 with severe anxiety and depression and nothing is helping me . Can someone please tell me their thoughts
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