- Username
- Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y ago
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- Username
- Susan4444Susan4444
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Researching the Kinsey scale just became a compulsion for me... like “what is my exact number? Did other women with this number marry men? Did they have to break up with their husbands? Etc.” A more helpful way to think of sexuality may be as a kaleidoscope than a scale. A therapist told me that and it helped. I don’t know why. But anyway, Nour you didn’t ask about that. I’ve been there panicking and crying. Try the SOS function on this app. Maybe try some Headspace short meditations, just to calm down. Then try approaching it with “so? So what?” Like “so what if you took a bunch of tests? So what if someone said you were in denial? So what if you are?” And then move on. Or maybe you brain will say something like “well then I might marry a man and dump him for a woman” and you can say to that thought “so?” As if you don’t really care. Anyway just one technique that helped me. But maybe just try those SOS audios and calm down a bit.
- Username
- Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y ago
you're right but it's so hard because saying so what feels like i am accepting it. to be honest, at this point i don't care what i am i just want to be sure about something, but i still freak out when i think about being with women like i just don't want it it doesn't feel like me. do you think this is still ocd or denial?
- Username
- Susan4444Susan4444
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Nour04 You can work your way there. For now it seems like doing some calming method are what you need. Doing body scan meditation helps me when I panic... like “where do I feel the anxiety in my body? Can I let it be there and observe it just as a sensation without making it mean anything.” But there is lots of YouTube. Are you doing erp therapy? Maybe you will work up to the “maybe I am maybe I’m not” and “so what” kind of reponses. But just start by cutting our compulsions.... google, ruminating, etc. If these types of videos we always popping up on your insta reel you may be doing too much research :-) You know I can’t answer if I think you have hocd or denial (and I don’t know you. Just like the person who made that insta video doesn’t know you!) but here is a good article from John Hershfield where he talks about denial: https://www.sheppardpratt.org/news-views/story/treatment-for-hocd/
- Username
- Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Susan4444 okay thank you so much! i haven't been stuck in rumination for a while and i felt like i was doing better, but then yesterday this showed up and my heart started beating super fast and i started crying and sobbing which went on for about an hour, with a ton of thoughtd racing through my head like "what if" or "imagine this" or "do you like this", and after i calmed down i had an awful headache for the rest of the day. what perplexed me was whether i cried because i got triggered and i have hocd, or if i cried because i felt "called out" for being in denial
- Username
- Susan4444Susan4444
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Nour04 I remember I had a time like that too where I was just crying hysterically cause I tried to “stop being in denial and accept myself” whatever that means. It was so scary. You are not alone!!! The hard part now is to sit with the uncertainty and discomfort of not knowing why you were triggered and trying not to put meaning on it. Do you have ocd therapist? They can help with this.
- Username
- Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Susan4444 i am not currently going to therapy no, but thank you very much for the advice!!
- Username
- IsabellaIsabella
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Don’t try to figure out if your in denial or not. Maybe you are, maybe you arnt, trying to figure it out only causes more uncertainty, confusion, and anxiety.
- Username
- nikkiinikkii
- Date posted
- 3y ago
denial and ocd are can overlap but they’re not the same
- Username
- Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y ago
what do you mean overlap???
- Username
- nikkiinikkii
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Nour04 for lack of better word its like the “symptoms”
- Username
- Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@nikkii ow okay
- Username
- Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@nikkii but then how do i know? what if i'm in denial?
- Username
- bluebellbluebell
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hey, I know how immensely triggering this probably feels, and the anxiety is likely just through the roof. With this theme, anxiety around the question of ‘am I not who I think I am?’ becomes extremely, extremely high, making everything feel blurry and threatening. OCD tells us that there is no way we can be at peace, unless the question is answered in the most empirically certain way possible. That really isn’t true. The likelihood is, you were just trying to appease your OCD by taking those tests, which definitely segregates you from the hoard of people in those comments. Because of the anxiety, and your amygdala firing off, you don’t have the ability to logically and calmly think: ‘well, that was their experience, mine could be entirely different. Maybe I shouldn’t compare myself to random people on the internet when my life, my history, and my personal factors could differ drastically to those people in that comment section’ And even then, when we’ve broken down that situation in a logical way to relieve our anxiety, OCD will persist, because that’s what OCD does. Because of this, the only answer is for us to give that question NO power. OCD gets its power from compulsions, and even looking at this logically is a compulsion. On YouTube, search anxiety meditation. It really helps me when I’ve got nagging anxiety, and I really think you could benefit from giving it a try. Sending my love, you’re okay! ❤️
- Username
- Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y ago
thank you indefinitely for this. the only fear that is persistant is whether it's truly ocd or just deep deep denial i am trying not to give in to rumination trying to figure this out because today has been hectic, i cried for an hour and i still have a horrible headache and can't keep my eyes open. i am exhausted. thank you for the amazing advice though, very much appreciated, and if you ever need anything i am here for you xx
Related posts
- Username
- mentowillness
- Date posted
- 4y ago
i just did about 40mins of erp scrolling through tiktok watching bisexual videos and boy am i triggered. i noticed myself doing sneaky compulsions tho. for example: the tiktok was like “if you liked these characters when you were young then you’re definitely bisexual” and they’d show the characters for example prince eric and ariel and i remember when i was young how obsessed i was with prince eric like i wanted to full blown marry him and i’d always pretend i was ariel. so then my sneaky compulsion was “you see you’re straight you only liked eric” but this one tiktok almost made me cry and i freaked out because i was overthinking why i almost cried: it was this guy talking about how he was straight his whole life until 2016 where he wasn’t sure and now he’s bi and when i tell you my heart fell to my stomach i wanted to cry but i didn’t i just say with the anxiety the thing is i know you’re not suppose to stop until the anxiety goes down but my anxiety didn’t go down at all it’s rose a lot. like every tiktok i saw it just got higher and higher. am i doing something wrong?
- Username
- hi,itme
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I just saw something on Insta that super triggered me. One of those reels. It was like “if you’ve ever taken and ‘am I gay’ quiz online...happy pride!” Basically implying that if you’ve questioned your sexuality it could only possibly mean one thing. Is this true? Has anybody else had a -long- history of questioning and is in a happy relationship and 25 years old and still doesn’t feel like they can confidently say they are this or that sexuality? Is it normal to just question forever?
- Username
- J_s_s
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
If anyones reading this please help
My mind keeps jumping to conclusions that I’m in denial and i have to come out , crazy how a thought went from “what if I’m gay” to “what if I’ve always been” to “you’re bi” to “you’re gsy” to full on statements and conclusions, like coming out and being in denial , as homophobic as this sounds everytime i see something gay i get an ick im not disgusted, very slightly, i was never like this, now I’m contemplating if i ever even liked women when i know i have before. I have nothing against gay people but i just don’t wanna be gay , saying that makes me feel uneasy which makes me more confused. Idk what I’ve become at this point .Now I’m doubting every life decision I’ve taken and gosh i wish me and my ex lasted, i was happy, even when we fought i remember telling myself we’re gonna get through this we’ll be fine, here i am doubting everything, at the same time wishing me and her lasted, regretting how i treated her, then the ocd part uses the fact that i went soft a few times with her and lost all interest in women after the break up against me, and then its basically convincing me to say that i am gay, none of these adds up . My brain keeps showing me images of being with men and happy about it and i don’t want that, i don’t think i ever did, then it’s like oh movies and tv shows have influenced you to think you should be with women , and then I’m here like if that was the case I’d feel uncomfortable and feel out of place , I’ve never felt that, i felt good with women and all as long as she was clean didn’t smell ofc but yeah now I’m so fucking lost.
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