Has anyone ever went through grief/a break up where it seems that ocd makes the process worse? Like having anxious/intrusive thoughts that aren’t even reflective of your feelings about the situation?

I have had ocd in my relationship for a while now. When I originally met him it was like this insane spiritual soulmate feeling and we just clicked instantly and he never judged me. I’m scared cause when I picture breaking up with my boyfriend I see myself being ok and being sad but moving on which I never was able to see before doesn’t this mean that this is what would happen or I don’t know till it happens? I still can’t imagine what life would be like without him but I just feel like I have lost feelings that I never wanted to lose. plus that’s also when I just picture knowing how people move on and how I’d just have to move on without letting myself picture processing the losses of all. I’m just really scared cause I used to think of wanting other things in someone else and what it would be like but I just thought how nice it would be to have it and not actually meaning it bc every time I thought about it I got upset and now it feels diff. He knows I have ocd but I never explained the ROCD because I thought it would have offended him so every time I went through a flare up I never told and acted like I was fine and it kept happening and OCD kept getting worse and worse. Maybe that’s part of the issue cause I haven’t been feeling like myself. But this is a feeling I never wanted to feel ever with him. I have gone through the feeling of numb but not like this. And he has a lot of positives but I can only see him overall as negatives and I’ve been told that’s ocd but it’s affecting how I feel. And yes there are legit actual things in the relationship that upset me but ocd has been affecting the way I look at him also. I keep being told my judgment is being impaired but this time it rly feels like not. And I’m Scared why don’t memories and things affect me like it used to doesn’t that mean I want this. Has anyone experienced this or is this the end 😭

Does anyone have advice for dealing with a breakup. This hurts so bad and my brain is torturing me. OCD makes it so much worse. It’s been a month already. I need to start letting go but can’t stop. Any advice for letting things go .. ?

I met my current boyfriend after ending things with my ex a month earlier. By coincidence, my current boyfriend and I had a class together, we became friends, and of course I started liking him. By May 2021, two months later, my feelings for him grew stronger and stronger. At that time, I wasn’t really going through a depression over my ex. In fact, little by little, we had stopped talking since January 2021, and by the end of March I told him I needed my personal space because I was dealing with another type of OCD. Looking back, during all that time I was open to getting to know this new guy (my current boyfriend). Finally, in July everything was going well between us, and we decided to stop giving each other space. Meanwhile, my ex was stalking me on social media. I was very happy to be getting to know my boyfriend at that time. In August, we had our first kiss and then, as I mentioned earlier, we stopped dating for a while. In September, we ended things, which hurt me a lot, but in November we tried again. During all that time, I didn’t have OCD. Later, in January, when my boyfriend and I made our relationship official, the doubts started: “Am I still in love with my ex?” “Am I using my boyfriend to forget my ex?” “Am I really over my ex?” The memories, physical sensations, all of that. So, my question is: does OCD with thoughts about an ex only happen to people who just broke up and are still grieving, or can it also show up later on, even if you’re already in a new relationship? I ask this because I’m afraid I might not have gotten over my ex and that these intrusive thoughts mean something else, since I’ve read that some people develop OCD right after a breakup and get stuck there. But in my case, I just moved on, and then the intrusive thoughts showed up later.