- Username
- Magzzz
- Date posted
- 3y ago
My advice is take a break for you know what and stop completely if you can. You are not a pedophile for having these thoughts, pedophiles relish these things and love them you don’t. Root yourself in love and not lust. Love God and others. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you.
Thank you so much. I’ve tried praying and listening to music and it just makes it worse. I feel so guilty
@Just Breathe ❤️ Do not worry ok? I’ve been there, you are not a monster. We are just humans with a sinful nature. As St. Paul said ““I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.” Romans 7:15-17 and that’s St. Paul the man who visited the 3rd Heaven! Love you man, God bless :)
@ttheafterprty Thank you but are the thoughts really sin though or are they of the enemy? I’ve always been confused about that. If it’s something that’s out of our control does God forgive us for something we can’t control?
@Just Breathe ❤️ Both are out of our control. To be honest, we can never really know if one is from us (OCD brain that is) or the enemy but God will forgive no less. God is merciful to the OCD sufferer. He knows how much love and compassion we need. OCD is not unforgivable, you did not ask for it! Do not worry. ❤️
@ttheafterprty Thank you friend God bless
I have had a similar experience at a bad time with my intrusive thoughts, my partner and I were getting intimate and I was trying not to think of this guy who I had a crush on and trying not to think his name when I had an intrusive thought of ‘wouldnt it be awful if you said your kids name’ and it has totally fucked up my sex life. I am terrified incase I have another intrusive thought during. Just another thing ocd has stolen for me. And to make it worse now whenever I am fantasising about my partner my intrusive thoughts always try to come about my kids because that thought pathway is there. I can’t even listen to some of my fave love songs because of the intrusive thoughts. Like you I am one of the most gentle, kind , good, empathic, sensitive and loving caring people I know and I am tortured with this shit every day. I’m in a spiral right now. Feeling physically sick, utterly hopeless and like I don’t want to be here anymore. To even have thoughts linked with something so abhorrent to me is soul destroying I can’t even explain.
I totally get how you feel and I’m so sorry you are going through this too. I’m tortured by it too. Mine come up during masturbation and scare me so much. I absolutely hate this theme it truly scares me. But yes I’m just like you too. I know what you are going through. Please know you are not alone and we can get through this.
Sadly reassurance is what we seek but also what fuels the ocd. However, you must remember that ocd preys on things we would never ever want to do. Keep reminding yourself this and force your brain to stop the loop of worrying. Mental ruminations are still fueling your ocd so you need to shut them down when they come up. Remind yourself—this is just an ocd thought, it has no power over me. You will get through this, I promise.
Thank you. I just feel so much guilt. How do I deal with the guilt from feeling like I’ve done something terribly wrong?
@Just Breathe ❤️ I know :( The guilt feels absolutely consuming, I know. When I went through a really bad time this guilt ate at me for months, and I genuinely didn’t know what to do. I ended up taking up running. Not only did it feel good to get exercise but it was also an exposure exercise for me because the places I would run to typically had a lot of families and kids out on walks. At first it caused more anxiety, like exposure therapy does, but it ended up helping me so much. The more I forced myself to perform exposures, the more I felt comfortable in myself and the guilt decreased bit by bit. Stop trying to ruminate on memories trying to figure out if you did something or not. They will only make the ocd worse. The more you look back on past memories the more they will change and your ocd will convince you they are real. Refuse to indulge in this mental checking and focus on reminding yourself it is just some chemical imbalances in your brain! The guilt will subside with this practice.
@blueoceanpearl Thank you so much. Maybe I could try exercising too and maybe doing things to keep my mind of it. The guilt just consumes me sometimes and it’s so frustrating because I know my morals but my thoughts go against that and it scares me so much. Thank you for your help I truly appreciate it
@Just Breathe ❤️ Yes, of course. I am always here if you need to talk! I have been through the exact same thing and I remember how horrible it is. Just remember that your ocd is not you...it is just a chemical imbalance in your brain. It will do anything to try and latch on to things that you enjoy doing or things that make you happy. And, people who suffer from this specific subtype of ocd love being around kids—playing with them, teaching them, helping them, raising their children, etc. and these people who suffer from these themes are some of the kindest and most gentle people out there. Don’t let this ocd convince you that you are something you are not. I am so proud of you. Just take it one day at a time, I promise it will get better.
@blueoceanpearl Thank you so much!
In the meantime, one of the most important things you can do is keep your body healthy to prevent your brain from becoming a breeding ground for worrying. Make sure you drink lots of water, eat good meals, and try and even get out and workout. Keep your physical body healthy and your mind will follow.
Is this even ocd anymore it feels so real and like I’m in denial.. I’m not seeking reassurance but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I got an intrusive sexual image of me getting a baby’s hand and making it finger me and got the feeling as though I may want to do it.. I feel really guilty and ashamed. I would never do that to a baby the image is weird to me but I don’t know it’s like I get this feeling that I may want to do it I know it’s just a thought but I feel like a weirdo
Intrusive thoughts ruined me
I got into porn around 14 or 15 I can’t remember, and I came across something really bad on accident. I don’t know if I knew how bad it was. It was literally on instagram. I have no idea why or how that was on there. But I ended up looking it up when I was 16 again and I touched myself to it. I am appalled and ashamed. I don’t know why I did it and I can’t get over the fact that I did. What was I thinking? I don’t understand how I could have done that and it doesn’t even feel like me because I can’t Imagine doing that now. But that doesn’t change the fact that I did. I just want help. Im scared to get help, I feel like I deserve to go to jail. I just want to get help and be a good person. I don’t want to do harm. I genuinely just want help. Im scared but I refuse to feel like I’m getting away with something awful so I want to tell a professional. It’s eating me alive. I can’t sleep or do anything without thinking about it. It runs my life. I can’t live with it and I can’t live this way feeling like a monster. I feel like I’m going to end myself one day. I feel like I’m lying about who I am to my family and I don’t want anyone to do anything nice for me. They think I’m a good person and I’m not. I wish I was. I feel like I’ve ruined myself and betrayed everyone. I feel so guilty and I feel sad. I don’t want to think about what my family would think. I feel like a lost cause.
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