ocd really makes u fear what u love most. i love poetry i love to write i hope to share my words w people onee day. i was on insta and this acc for poets came up and i checked out the girls page and she is gay and my ocd is like if u like her poetry you’re prob a lesbian. and i feel bad bc i’m not homophobic at all like she is probably a great woman and i feel soo bad for having these thoughts. i’m not gay i don’t want to be but why is it going after me in this type of a way.

I developed a crush for this girl and it feels great. But ya know, OCD did its thing and makes me feel like I don't really like her and that I like guys. It drives me absolutely mad. I even went to the gym today (which I have been avoiding) and one of the front desk guys was id say good looking and my OCD ran with that and told me I like guys and all the what if questions came roaring in. It feels really provocative to think persons of the same sex are good looking. It feels like anytime I look at a guy, my OCD tells me"oh look! you noticed him, how come you're not noticing the women?, you're gay." I get so many intrusive thoughts about any guy I look at and It feels so real. I feel defeated today. If anybody can relate, I'd like to hear.

I have hocd and i dont want to be attracted to my same sex (women) , I was reading here an article about a lesbian that beat her so ocd and she was scared of loving the opposite sex , then suddenly i got a thought with a fear” what if im straight” 😭 then in the afternoon i was watching a cooking tv show and there was a girl i feel attracted to ( because i feel false attractions to every girl i see ) then i said this time i shouldnt avoid, i should keep seeing her and feel the feeling and attraction and to do this as form of an erp then i keep seeing her then a thought occurred in my mind “what if you accepted being bi and you genuinely attracted to that girl in the tv show then you couldnt date her, you will suffer” and i feel as if i was afraid of being unable to date her 😭 i hate how ocd messes up with me 💔 my feelings feel very bery very real

When I first started having so ocd symptoms- my thoughts always revolved around the sickness I get to think that I’m bi (even knowing I’m straight). Like repeated thoughts of evidences, sensations, false attractions etc. never did I think about my family and friends. Once i knew about ocd- it was sort of manageable until it turned to thoughts about my family knowing that I like girls or I’m bi (writing this phrase has already gotten my stomach twisted). It’s so triggering to have other people involved cause they’re really important to me, now it feels like I’m in the “closet” or in denial for the sake of my family’s approval. The only family I’ve told is my sister about this type of ocd- i cried so much cause I didn’t want her to think that I like girls or that I was coming out. It felt so good to say that I’m straight like it was the real truth. She was supportive about it and wanted to help me manage these thoughts. She even told me at some point in her start of college life- she even wondered if she liked women. But that was just about it- she didn’t think anything else after that. Somehow I got the bad part and just stuck to these thoughts and feelings. I’ve always been into men, always fantasize being with the love of my life. These thoughts feel like they’re normal now, like I’m living with them inside me as if they’re the truth. I just want all these feelings and thoughts to disappear, I’d honestly rather be asexual rather than liking the same sex.