- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Mine started in January too, and in the beginning I knew nothing about ocd or even anxiety. I was desperate, ruminating my thoughts and thinking they were true. Now that I know what it is, I still wonder if it is. OCD does not make sense, it twists everything. I've always wanted to get a boyfriend, I've always had crushes exclusively on men, and now my mind is revisiting all my past and twisting my present. It's terrible, sometimes I feel so empty, like am I here only to suffer?
- Date posted
- 6y
Holy shit, that sounds like me as well still.
- Date posted
- 6y
I know how that feels. I can't do anything I like without these thoughts disturbing me as well. I can't finish a book, I can't study properly, I can't watch a movie or even go to church without being constantly reminded of my hocd. It's haunting, it's draining. We need to keep in mind that it's just meaningless thought, we're the ones that keep worrying about it. Everyone has intrusive thoughts from time to time, but the difference is that we ocd sufferers attach fear to it. Fear of losing our true identity.
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel the same way as both of you. It literally wants me to convince that my girlfriend is no longer beautiful and that it was all a cover up. It has made me doubt everything. And we’ve been together for 3 years working on 4. She was literally my dream girl. And now I just feel empty and guilty and I’ve never been attracted to none of my friends, I’ve always admired them, and now it’s all flipped saying “you like them more than your girlfriend” and that scares me because my libido has dropped on and off since January because of constantly doubting and ruminating, and I just don’t feel like myself anymore because of this.
- Date posted
- 6y
I've had hocd for 6 years it has twisted and turned everything in my life
- Date posted
- 6y
it never went away huh?
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 19w
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- OCD newbies
- Students with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 13w
So I identify as a lesbian and I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful girl. But i’m stressing that I have crushes on boys I go to school with. I get anxious around them, which I think I mistake for excitement. I obsess over it in my head which confuses me a lot. Idk I also never think about them sexually or romantically but I think about them often which is scaring me. Any advice?
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