pavlov
- Date posted
- 6y
GfauxGfaux
- Date posted
- 6y
As an lgbt person with sexual orientation ocd its not based in fear of that thing. Its a lot deeper than that. The thoughts are ego dystonic, which means they go against who you are naturally. Theyre aggressive and painful and they hit you endlessly. Its not an organic transition into finding yourself but rather getting dragged into a constant debate you can never win. Its about your brain basically telling you the sky is green when you can clearly see its blue, and even distorting your memories. Everything becomes painful because youre SO wrapped up in analyzing and doubting that you dont even know what you like anymore and it just makes you feel numb. It feels very against your will, like youre being dragged. Its horrible and torturous, and its not like having a pre disposed prejudice. Some people with hocd could be homophobic, but i think on the whole most people who experience it are not, its just frightening when your identity is threatened so suddenly and seemingly with no reasoning behind it
KalinaKalina
- Date posted
- 6y
For example I know I would never ever want to be with a woman, I love my boyfriend so much. However, because I know how much I love my boyfriend and don't want to be with a woman.. I get scared that what if I am in denial and actually like women..
KalinaKalina
- Date posted
- 6y
That's okay, please understand that people struggling with this OCD are not homophobic. It is a serious mental illness and these people are victims! I am sure you understand if you suffer from OCD
KalinaKalina
- Date posted
- 6y
No. You aren't scared of other gay people unless it is a trigger for your fear of being gay. It is that you know so much that you aren't gay.. that you are scared you are if that makes sense.. and you don't want to be because of how much you aren't therefore the fear arises.
pavlovpavlov
- Date posted
- 6y
But homophobia is not being afraid of gay people and being gay is not a bad thing
pavlovpavlov
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah but that would be an obsession about cheating, not being gay.
KalinaKalina
- Date posted
- 6y
It isn't a bad thing but it doesn't mean everyone wants to be gay. We all want to be.. us. I am straight and I want to be, I love my boyfriend I want to be with him till death do us apart.. so I fear that what if I am in denial. It's not about thinking it is wrong.. it is about being scared that you aren't you.. that you are living a lie.. that you don't know yourself.. I luckily recovered from this.. by ignoring those thoughts.. now I luckily have no doubts.. I wish you luck if you are struggling with this please seek therapy!
pavlovpavlov
- Date posted
- 6y
Nah I'm happily bi but thanks
Related posts
kitchensink234
- Date posted
- 21w
Advice please!
I have been really battling with my SO OCD, and I’ve recently started to have a ton of wins!!! I’m really excited about it, but as I’ve noticed myself not engaging as much… different things have popped up. Now im obsessed with people’s perception on me, and them looking at me and thinking by how I walk, how I talk, what I wear, how I move… that I am gay? And am so convinced everyone thinks that and “knows something that I don’t”. Is that typical with OCD? If so, any ERP advice on how to overcome these thoughts?
FlavoredTrades
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 18w
Is "homosexual OCD" usually homophobia
If you truly aren''t homophobic you wouldn't be afraid of being gay unless in very specific cases of bisexual cycling, what is the difference?
user74128588493
- Date posted
- 18w
hocd and scared it’s internalized homophobia
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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