I got a raise and now I have 666 in my biweekly pay. First world problems, OCD edition…

You know when you have weird thoughts about a coworker and because you have OCD these thoughts really stick and you panic and feel sick? Yeah that’s me and I’ve struggled with having intrusive thoughts about my coworker and now he just got in a relationship with my coworker and my intrusive thoughts are WORSE I thought they would be better? And initially they were because I was relieved that he couldn’t be weird with me now because he has a girlfriend. But this is the thought that i cannot get over- my OCD is like you’re jealous that he doesn’t like you and he’s not with you instead and i envy this girl he is with. Why the fuck am I having these thoughts while I’m in a healthy relationship and love my boyfriend to DEATH- like I know he is my forever. I couldn’t look at him today because I’ve been obsessing over this thought I’ve had in work and now I have to find a new job I hope no one will judge me for these thoughts or maybe someone has had this weird thought before? :(

I am currently attending talk therapy but have never brought up symptoms of OCD. Here are some things that I believe MIGHT be OCD but I’m not sure. - I have a lot of trouble focusing and get distracted by so many things (Constantly wanting to touch things like Buttons, feeling textured things, etc.) - The volume on ANY device can not be at any volume with the number 6 - I can NOT step on cracks - I have to walk an equal amount of steps on both feet or I’ll go crazy - I fear that if I do something I’m not supposed to, something bad is going to happen to me I might sound funny but these things genuinely bother me, your help is appreciated LOL

Does anyone else ever feel like they don’t feel “bad enough” to have OCD, or that they don’t feel “the right way” for it? Or like they’re just saying they have OCD as an excuse? Because i was so much better for like 3 weeks now and now im on my period and i started doubting again. So because of that im scared that i was feeling to good and that my fear is actually true.