how do you guys get over hocd

Can hocd really feel this real? I can never shake it off that I’m not really straight. It just seems that one day out of the blue I realized I was gay. I don’t even know anymore. Every time I see I pretty girl it feels so real, I try to accept the thought but it just doesn’t work. I just want to like guys and that’s all.

So my hocd started over 2 years ago (I’m 20 yrs old now), when I was having a conversation with one of my friends and the thought popped into the back of my head what if the reason I don’t have a crush on any guys at my high school is because I’m a lesbian. Since then my sexuality has been on my mind 24/7 I didn’t know this was ocd until about a year ago but i’m only seeking treatment now. The hocd ramped up when I felt super aroused watching a movie with topless women, something that had never happened when watching men. Thing is I genuinely think I’m gay now, I’ve had this for so long that at first the thoughts disgusted me and caused me anxiety but now they don’t anymore. I saw so many tiktok videos about “pipelines” of certain interests gay people have that triggered me and read the comphet masterdoc which made me cry when I read it because I related to so much of it. When I was a child I was never boy crazy, I never really crushed on boys in my class (to be fair there were only 7) however I do remember writing a love note to a boy in first grade and having an immense celebrity crush on a disney channel star. I remember to certain things I did as a child that lead me to think I am gay and they keep replaying over and over in my head. Thing is over the past year I’ve had crushes on 3 guys I’ve met through dating apps. The last one I actually hung out with and I had my first kiss/makeout session 2 months ago. After that my hocd calmed down I enjoyed kissing him it felt euphoric the whole drive home just replaying our dates in my head. But now I can’t get the thought out of my head what if I didn’t like it enough? I didn’t get butterflies when we kissed (i do when I think back about it though) and didnt feel super aroused like that time I watched that movie. I feel nothing when I look at pictures and videos of men but with women I started getting this warm feeling in my chest which stressed me out even more. Idk what I am anymore and it is driving me insane. Does anyone relate?

so i’m straight, but one thing that’s always bothered me was i was never the type to look at a guy and automatically think dirty thoughts about them like some girls do i would think they’re good looking and move on. but lately i have been looking at guys and think ways i never have before because i don’t really care for sex but this time i actually think about it when i find someone attractive and it started to worry me because i was like i never thought that much sexually before so why am i now? and then i get thoughts in my head that say why are you worried aren’t you straight why are you worried to think sexual about guys? and it’s the anxiety about the fact that i actually think dirty thoughts when i see a cute guy and before i never would and then hocd coming in to play making me wonder that i shouldn’t be anxious if i was always straight but it’s not that i get anxious because i never thought that sexually before but ocd makes me think i’m worried about liking a guy but that’s not true sorry if it’s a bit confusing