- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
This sounds like OCD to me :) You’re feeling uncertain and guilty, and you’re having trouble sitting with that feeling. It’s normal to still find other people attractive when you’re in a monogamous relationship, and every relationship has different boundaries. This is not a black-and-white situation. Practice some response prevention: “I didn’t intend to hurt my girlfriend, but it’s possible that I did. If it turns out that I hurt anyone’s feelings in this situation, I’ll have to figure out what to do, but for now I just have to accept that I don’t know.” The guilt is uncomfortable, but if you let it be there, it will get easier to tolerate over time; pushing it away will just make it worse. If you genuinely prefer being sober, I’m not going to tell you to drink, but it sounds like you might be choosing to avoid alcohol as a compulsion to avoid uncertainty in the future. If it’s within your values to have a drink once in a while, continue to do so as a challenge to the OCD.
- Date posted
- 4y
100 % agree with that comment. And I would also say it's deffo ocd.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
I agree
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey friend! This completely describes my OCD experience. I have actually said things to another person letting them know I was attracted to them but that I had a boyfriend, felt guilt, and told my boyfriend. The problem is that I kept remembering different things I said, and he told me I should just learn from it and move on and that we both have different concepts of right and wrong, but I kept ruminating and seeking reassurance and it because this out of control spiral. What you need to accept is “maybe I told her she’s attractive.” Some people think this is perfectly fine do in relationships. Would that really be so horrible? And it’s not fair to beat yourself up over something that you don’t even know is true. The more you are able to stop ruminating about it the more clarity you will have about it over time. Any of us could have cheated on our partners while drunk and not remember.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
This is absolutely OCD related, friend. Resist the compulsions!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
17f I don't know if it's very ocd related cause I actually did something wrong but I have another serious year long real event ocd which caused me moral ocd and now I feel extremely guilty because of that thing I'm going to talk about because now I feel like me being a better person after my big event was just a lie if i did this So basically me and my friend were at our other friends birthday and she came with her boyfriend. I saw him like once before and at first I didnt find him attractive at all. But the second time we met before the party (me, my friend and her boyfriend shared an uber to get there) I kinda noticed that he is kinda cute but yk I didn't do anything about it since he is my friends boyfriend. Then I got drunk at the party and when I'm drunk I become way way more talkative and affectionate, so I became more attracted to him. I mean I didn't like full on flirt with him, but later I realized I was purposefully making jokes I knew he would laugh at and enjoyed every piece of attention I got from him, like I would say stuff that I knew would catch his attention without openly trying to innitiate a conversation with him, cause it would be too suspicious or obvious. Now I don't really remember was I actually fully aware that I'm borderline flirting with my friends boyfriend, I mean I wasn't blackout drunk, but I was drunk and it was 2 months ago. I remember when I got sober and started recalling the other night I felt guilty and promised myself that when we meet again I won't repeat it. So here comes another party we are both invited too. It was my friends (his girlfriends) birthday, and it was a bit far away from our town, so we had to take a bus and then also an uber. Since I can't pay with my card my friend was supposed to call and uber for me and I would just pay her back in cash. But she was very busy with preparing stuff for the party so she asked her boyfriend to call me an uber and then text me the details. So I was extremely neutral and short with my answers to him like the bare minimum cause I remembered how I promised myself that I won't initiate anything weird. Then he met me where the uber stopped to show me the way to the house they rented for the party and still while sober I was very neutral with him. Like polite but not overly friendly yk And then everyone got drunk. Especially me, I usually drink a lot at parties and this time wasn't an exception. And again. I wasnt openly flirting with him. And this time I actually didnt innitiate interactions with him a lot at first. But then I got really drunk and me and my friend were joking around how I actually made out with her before her boyfriend did when we played the bottle a year ago. And we were like "it would be funny to tell him". So basically he came in the room and my drunk ass says something like "hey bro fun fact I actually made out with your gf before you got a chanse to do so" trying to tease him. The dude looked shocked and I thought it was funny. But then he kinda pulled me to the side and asked wtf did I mean by that. I didn't really get why is he so confused and said "I mean yeah we did but like it wasn't serious we just played bottle and there was also a bunch of other girls she kissed it was just a game yk" but after I said this he got upset. So he went to talk with his girlfriend and I realized I maybe shouldn't have said that so I texted her asking if everything is okay and apologized for making that joke and messing things up. She responded that everything it's fine and I didn't really mess everything up it was just a misunderstanding. So after we continued drinking they came back and he ended up sitting next to me on the couch and I still felt bad and a bit akward so I apologized for that joke and he said that it's all good he just got it very wrong, he thought I meant that we made out today like at this party instead of a year ago. So drunk me just formulated this very poorly and he who was also drunk understood it in a very wrong way so its fine now when he knows the context So basically apart from this dumb joke drama I also feel guilty for I wasn't really trying to interact with him a lot but I wasn't stopping it if he did? Again he was just being drunk and freidnly and I know he's loyal to his gf and wouldn't hit on me so even if I'm attracted to him and enjoy his attention I'm not stealing anyone's bf? Like that was my drunk logic But I feel so bad now. Especially because of this joke. I didn't make it for sole purpose of grabbing his attention, I genuinely thought it's funny. But still the attention thing was a part of the motive. And then during the apology, even though I was sincerely apologizing cause I genuinely felt bad, I was still kinda enjoying him talking to me??? So yeah not good not only I was kinda crushing on a friends bf I also made him upset because I wanted to talk to him and tease him by making that dumbass joke
- Date posted
- 17w
has anyone experienced this or have any advice on what to do. okay so my senior prom is today and i’m in a long distance relationship so im going alone with friends and there’s an after party at someone’s house and it’s just your basic high school party with drinking and everything and ive never been to one but i wanna go with my female friends (im also a girl btw) but i have an rocd fear of cheating or something if i go. ive only ever gotten drunk once and all i was thinking abt was my boyfriend so i don’t understand the cheating “because you were drunk” thing. if i go to this party i do wanna drink a little but im just scared cause im overthinking that something will happen even though i would never do that. i haven’t asked my boyfriend about it yet as he’s at work but i am just not sure what to do.
- Date posted
- 12w
For context, I was previously diagnosed with GAD and OCD. Months ago, after a night of drinking with coworkers I experienced slight hangxiety, but I remembered most of the night. At work when I asked a coworker if I did anything weird he made a joke that really wasn’t funny. This joke caused me to doubt my memory. I think I had thought I was more sober than everyone else when in reality I was not. I remember checking on a coworker who was slumped over in the drivers seat of his car and in no state to drive and asking “you good?” The next thing I remember is that I was in the drivers seat of his car reversing out and I think I assumed that he and our other coworker were also in the car. Our other coworker stopped me and told me to pull back into the parking stall and come back inside. I remember the events both leading up to and after that all the way until I got home. However the small gap in my memory had been causing me a lot of distress, so I asked that coworker who I went to check on who was the only person that was present during the gap in my memory if I touched anyone or let anyone touch me, to which he said no definitely not. He also said that he wasn’t in the car when I was reversing out and that he vividly remembers that I was the only person in the car. When I explained to him that the joke that our other coworker said made me worry that I might’ve done something that constitutes cheating on my bf he said no that guy is just weird and says effed up stuff. I feel a lot better, because he has no reason to lie and he doesn’t seem like that type of person. However I still feel unsettled, so I plan to call my doctor’s office when they open in the next hour. I’m wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar/has any advice.
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