This might be a dumb question but I heard that ocd attacks what you value the most, but I value my family the most more than I value kids I guess so why do I have pocd and not harm ocd about hurting my family?

Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.

I was sitting down and my child wanted me tl hug her. She extended her arms. I leaned in and hugged her but my pocd freaks out says “dont brush up lr do anything inappropriate. Dont thrust my hips”. I leaned in and hugged her. I had these intrusive thoughts and worries. I hugged her still and i think i did compulsions to avoid these pocd and intrusive thoughts. I moved on and now im habing doubts and false memories on the details. I know as i hugged her i worried about brushing up or hips thrusting and i was anxious and uncomfortable. I known its ocd. I still hugged my child. Despite ocd discomfort. I thought i felt my body react like a hip thrust twitch or maybe its just in my head. I dont want to hip thrust. Thats why my mind was freaking out worrying about it when she asked for anhug. My therapist said my ocd and anxiety and these intrusive thiughts can cause my body to involuntarily react and do those things my ocd is obssessing over like hip thrusting or twitches or groinals down there.

There are times my harm ocd has me convinced that my feelings of self harm or suicide and harm are real and that any moment I could commit the act on myself or my family. Is there anyone who can chime in on this. I feel like all the time I want to leave run away or avoid my family because of these thoughts. Like I shouldn’t be around my children and I don’t trust myself.