kirstythought
- Date posted
- 4y
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 4y
I was exactly the same. OCD was never even on my radar. I knew very little about the disorder. I was thought people with OCD involved washing your hands all the time and being super neat and organized. I never had either of those. I listened to a podcast where a woman named Meghan shared about living with OCD. The podcast did sometimes delve into mental illness, but it was not the main focus. I didn't want to believe I could really have OCD. So I started doing research to prove to myself I didn't have it. It did the opposite. The more I learned about OCD, the more things started to come together for me. I realized that I had been having intrusive thoughts and doing compulsion since I was 8. I am now 45. I do have a couple behavioral compulsions like checking and counting. But for the most part, my compulsions are mental. Rumination is a huge one for me. I always go right to the worst possible scenario and my mind spirals down into endless what ifs. The intrusive thoughts come as phrases and images. I constantly worry that I have offended someone by something I said or did. I overly apologize for things that usually aren't even a issue. Avoidance is a huge one for me. I have never had a driver's license because I am constantly afraid I will have a panic attack behind the wheel or that I will be involved in an accident or that I will injure or kill someone. This has made me rely on other people and simple tasks take way longer than they wood if I could drive. I really like watching true crime. I have had intrusive thoughts as a result, so I stopped watching it. My mind constantly spins. There are many examples I can give. But here is a very recent one from a few weeks ago. I used my Echo and had Alexa, set a timer for 4:00. But I forgot to say 4pm. So I accidentally set it for 4 in the morning. It woke me up. At first, I thought it was my ceiling fan, but I realized it was something else, so I better check it out. It only went off 3 or 4 times. Less than 5 minutes. I had a thought. What if I woke up the single mom and her 6 to old daughter who live above me? What if she complains to the landlord and I get evicted from my apartment? I laid awake for the next two hours worrying that was going to happen. I also have an obsession that centers around throwing up both myself and others. I would find myself quoting a Bible verse out loud to calm myself. That is a compulsion. When I would have a nightmare, I would have to say "Good dreams only" exactly 8 times. That is a compulsion. Anything that you use to relieve your anxiety is a compulsion.
mari01mari01
- Date posted
- 4y
Asking for reassurance and mentally reviewing things is symptoms of OCD. OCD isn’t just some cleaning disease, it’s tormenting obsessions and intrusive thoughts or just constant rumination. I hope that helps. Also do some research, it would help you understand your symptoms. I didn’t think I had OCD before due to the stereotypes and was kind of surprised when I put two and two together.
kirstythoughtkirstythought
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for replying.. just researching now and noting down the things I feel or experiences ive had so I can start to understand!
kirstythoughtkirstythought
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for replying and sharing your example. Rumination is a big one for me I also think about the worse case scenario and then seek reassurance. Similar to your situation my car alarm went off one night I went out to check and there was nothing it went off again so this time I left the car unlocked... and lay awake then thinking that I'd woken the neighbours and their new baby and that they would complain about me to the council.. even though I know that wouldnt happen.
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Jade.08
- Date posted
- 24w
Do I have OCD????
Can someone please tell me if there are any other similar diagnosis to OCD I am convinced that I was misdiagnosed or that I miss spoke to the extent that I have made the provider who did my psych evaluation misdiagnose me with OCD. I have intrusive thoughts of suicide constantly. I have intrusive thoughts that cause me intense distress and disgust. I am constantly ruminating for hours on different situations and even crying as I type this because I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I feel like I’m not aligned in a prescriptive way with what OCD is. I am extremely frustrated. I just want to know what is wrong with me And there are so many things that I see within the OCD community that align with my experiences, but I feel like from conversations I’m having maybe I’m just anxious or a flawed person and I’m not saying that for reassurance I really feel that way I don’t know what else to do. This is a recent diagnosis so anyone who has felt this way or has similar diagnosis to OCD it would be great to hear from you. Thanks.
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 12w
Is this OCD?
Hi! It’s pretty difficult for me to get the courage to post this but I’m really struggling to figure out if what I’m experiencing is OCD or Anxiety or neither. I think I have the “pure O” type of OCD where most of my compulsions take the form of ruminating and trying to figure out something all in my head. When I hear this talked about in forums or online the intrusive thoughts don’t really match mine- I worry often about things that seem more “grounded” if that makes sense. A common one for me is my own identity- i will spend long amounts of time stuck in my head trying to figure out my feelings (often sadness or other real emotions I have and patterns I have) and why I feel that way and what in my life caused that and how it’s impacting other things in my life. I also think often about which parts of my personality are the real me and which aren’t. Sometimes this takes the form of strictly ruminating and sometimes I have fake conversations with people I know. It’s intense and I feel I have to figure it out but with no specific intrusive thought that says something like “you have to figure this out or all of your loved ones will die” but it’s very intense. I think also often of all of the decisions I need to make in the future and how they’re going to affect those I love and care about as well as how much I’ll regret them. I imagine all of the ways I think my actions will emotionally hurt others and how to make the least harmful decision, but to me this feels like a valid concern but go over and over and never come to a conclusion. I often just get scared and never make any move because I don’t see an option that doesn’t hurt someone somehow. But again I’m having a hard time identifying the intrusive thought behind it. But I also don’t choose to think about these things most of the time. This is almost all decisions but especially big life decisions. It’s such a struggle because they are things I eventually do have to make decisions about. There is so much more to it that would take too long to explain but in general a lot of my fears revolve around pleasing others/ understanding others emotions to ensure they’re okay, my own identity and personality, and work/school performance. Someone mentioned OCD to me because in my head it feels like I have to solve these things and will go over and over them but I seriously can’t figure out if it’s anxiety, OCD, or none of the above. It’s all very disruptive to my life. I am never not thinking or not trying to figure something out and I feel as if I have no control over it Anyone have any insight?
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 4w
I’m struggling to know what’s a compulsion
Is anyone else just confused by their ocd all of the time?? I was diagnosed 2 months ago and I feel more confused than ever. I have no idea what’s an intrusive thought, when I’m ruminating or doing mental compulsions or what my “themes” are. I guess I don’t really have intrusive thoughts the way it seems others do and I don’t struggle with themes that are extremely taboo or frightening so I’m always just extremely confused and frustrated. I feel like I just have a lot of intrusive doubt and I think a ton but don’t really know when I’m ruminating or not?? I have comorbid depression and anxiety so I’ve no idea what’s what. Do other people struggle with this?? How do I try to begin to identify these things or know if what I’m doing mentally is a compulsion or not?!
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