Hi there, ive just been diagnosed as having ocd but i'm really struggling to see how I have it.. Ive never had a diagnosis of ocd before. I do seek constant reassurance about things and I mentally review things in my head all the time. But i'm struggling to see any ocd traits... I just wondered if anyone else experiences ruminations or mental compulsions and could explain further..

So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.

so i was on instagram and it came up with other signs of ocd then someone commented this doesn’t mean you have ocd now im stressed that its not ocd background - i had so-ocd for a few years then got treatment for it but am now on the waiting list for further treatment for other stuff but i dont have another theme which makes me feel like its not ocd my day to day life consists of touching the door handle every time you go past it or someone will die, and inability to send emails without re reading loads of times and getting other people to check because im scared i wrote something bad but the what if it’s not ocd thought is triggering me now and i don’t know what do

This list by ai gives a good summary of my symptoms. Does it resemble OCD or is it something else? 1. Compulsions (OCD-specific behaviors): • Feeling the need to flex or contract muscles an even number of times, equally on both sides of your body. • Needing to reverse actions (for example, if you roll your eyes or trace a line with your finger, you feel compelled to do it again in the exact opposite way). 2. Intrusive Thoughts (OCD-specific ruminations): • Daydreaming about people you care about getting hurt (e.g., school shooting, injury, or kidnapping). • Sometimes feeling like you might want something bad to happen to someone you find attractive—possibly because of a desire to help or save them, though it’s confusing. • These thoughts can sometimes provide a twisted sense of relief while remaining distressing and confusing. 3. Sexual Orientation OCD: • Experiencing confusion or doubt about your sexual orientation. 4. Contamination Thoughts: • Feeling like things are contaminated, especially after touching something gross. 5. Sensory Compulsions: • Feeling the need to smell your hand after touching areas like your ear or hair. 6. ADHD-like Symptoms / Additional Observations: • Fidgeting or moving your legs when standing or sitting.