BIPOC with OCD

_Moderator Emphasized

I wonder if something I did in the past actually happened the way I remember it

I’m constantly bothered by things not being in the right place, the right order, or grouped in the right way

I’m convinced that what I do or think can effect a real event and will prove that I’m a bad person

I experience anxiety and discomfort any time something doesn’t feel “just right”

I’m bothered by specific thoughts, and I use mental actions to “get rid” of them

I obsess over something that happened in my past and what it could have led to

I can’t help but think I’ll intentionally kill myself, even thought I don’t want to die

I experience anxiety while obsessing over the meaning of life or the purpose of existence

I have continual doubts about my sexuality and spend a lot of time trying to analyze my feelings 

I’m overly afraid of becoming sick or getting someone else sick

I need to know if I really have a desire to transition my gender or if I want a transgender partner

I constantly question and analyze how I feel in my most important relationships

I feel unable to stop focusing on normal bodily functions in myself or someone else

I constantly worry that I have offended a higher power or done something morally wrong

I have to keep checking for new health symptoms to prevent pain, suffering, or death

I experience excessive fears of directly or inadvertently causing harm to others

I’m very bothered by thoughts that  I want to, or might, do something inappropriate with a child

I’m a new parent, and I can’t help but think of my newborn getting hurt due to my thoughts or actions

Could someone explain depersonalization? I’ve seen it a lot recently on this forum. Thank you :)