I'm the same. Had the same triggers for about 2 years (sexual orientation ocd) and even on my good days I still can see or hear a trigger and feel like, this should be bothering me rn right? And I kind of do a double take. I hope one day I'll be able to reclaim some form of normalcy again where ocd isn't the most normal thing I feel. I miss the past so much. I know it's unhealthy and unrealistic to miss the past. But sometimes I just really miss being able to enjoy the intimate parts of being I a relationship without any shred of doubt tied to it.
That was me with health ocd; was dead set that I had cancer or a brain tumor or whatever. When I see a trigger that should’ve been, well, triggered by; I actually had the same thing. I was like… why am I not spiraling? But nowadays I think to myself… wow. I’m really living with my OCD; I am not getting triggered and if my brain tosses me a thought that I might latch on to, now I have the tools to accept it as it lies, and move past it, stay in the present. It takes a lot of work and practice.I think striving for “normalcy” is good but I also think that we have to realize the thoughts don’t go away, just the feelings that come with it do.