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im not sure. i think i might heavily limit screen time. ive been so insanely anxious. it feels like everytime i go on social media, people are panicking or complaining and its so stressful. half the time, im not even scared of the things theyre complaining about, but them panicking is making me panic. also, a lot of paranoid theories online, echo chambers, etc. i used to watch really fun art trends, cosplays, etc, and now people are just being really mean to each other, being performative, or just complaining has anyone else considered this?

So I just took a trip down memory lane and it felt great. It felt like things were better in that moment and it just reminded me of the one thing that's been keeping me down for so long. Adult content. I had a bad relapse that led to shame that it still there. I think before it used to be a lot worse but it's still bad feeling this. I hate adult content, yet I feel like it keeps possessing my mind like poison. I've been making posts like these for years and it sucks that this is still affecting my quality of life by a lot. There were really bad taboos that I remember going through when escalating and I just hit one that was pretty awful. This never feels great to deal with in the long run yet it keeps repeating. I went on a binge of searching through wildly taboo contents that I deep down don't like and am against, yet I kept browsing anyway. I hate how much I remember of specific things that I remember. I just wish I could cleanse all of it from my life. To just go back to the time where I wasn't exposed to it all at such a young age

Has anyone actually experimented with this? I don’t really have a social media presence, but I do use YouTube a lot to watch videos. I’ve thought about whether restricting my usage of my phone/of the internet in general might help turn me in a better direction. I’ve been in a rut for a couple months. I haven’t ruminated so much during each day in 2 years. It’s gotten pretty bad. But I’m still in therapy and trying to be honest about everything with my therapist.