ERP for fear of cancelation? (Event/False Memory)

That sounds like a good exposure to start with. This is very brave of you, especially without the guidance of a therapist! Eventually you'll want to start doing some small exposures in person, rather than online. For example, voicing an unpopular opinion about something while you're talking to someone in person. Depending on your level of discomfort, you can start with some pretty low-stakes things, like defending an unpopular movie/song/food that you like. Then work your way up to more hot-button or taboo topics. You can adjust the difficulty based on who you speak to, whether they're a trusted friend who you feel safe with, or someone you may not know as well. You don't have to get on a soapbox or try starting an argument, just respectfully give your opinion. The goal here is to sit with the discomfort that comes from disagreeing with someone. The reason I think it's best to eventually do this in person is that you'll get to see their actual, human reaction (or non-reaction). Humans are meant to connect face-to-face, and you lose a lot of emotional connection through text-based communication. What this all boils down to is a fear of rejection, which is a perfectly natural human instinct. For nearly 99% of human history, our ancestors lived in small tribes. In that setting, if you were rejected by your tribe, you would literally die. That's why we have such a strong alarm system when it comes to what other people think about us. But in today's world, this alarm system is outdated. It honestly doesn't matter if people (especially strangers on the internet) dislike you. If your friends reject you, you can find new friends. You won't be cast out into the wilderness and get eaten by a lion, even though it FEELS like you will. It's just a mismatch between how we evolved and the world we live in now. And the best way to "update" this outdated system is to prove to yourself, again and again, that you can have unpopular opinions and still survive.

Hey, how wonderful that you've found relief in the past with ERP. It truly can be life changing! I agree with what djflorio shared. I'd also like to point out that because this theme feels more real or risky, does not mean that it actually is. Is it possible that you could be cancelled for sharing an unpopular opinion? Sure, I suppose we all could be. It is probable that you'll be cancelled for sharing an unpopular opinion? I doubt it. Sometimes these real event, false memory and taboo themes can feel more challenging to push back against. I like to remind my Members that OCD is OCD, no matter what. In these instances, it has just put on a new costume to try to distract us and knock us off our game. Here is an article from a few years ago that seems relevant to your current situation, https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-being-canceled-ocd

I love how you've tried experimenting with ERP on your own! That is super awesome. And thank you for sharing that you are experiencing this type of OCD. I experience it at times too and I feel like people don't talk about it a ton. I went through a phase of compulsions once where I tried to delete every single online comment I ever made in every form. As someone who has always been into online communities since I was really young, it was quite the feat. I now know that this was a compulsion and the best way to break free is to keep interacting and engaging online and accepting the uncertainty of how people may view my content, both past and present. Have you ever tried ERP with a therapist? Having the structured support and professional guidance can help a lot to take things even further. It sounds like you've accomplished a lot on your own too! Rooting for you as you fight this so you can get back to enjoying social media with peace and freedom and progressing your career.

I love your willingness to address your fears and do exposures! Remember with ERP..the exposure is important but even more important is the Response Prevention piece. Not participating in the safety behaviors. With the fact that you describe this subtype as more difficult to address, I highly recommend doing some ERP with an OCD trained specialist so that they can help you come up with exposures and response prevention tailored to you. I am so sorry that this is creating difficulty for you to progress in your career.