How do you get out of a depressive state when dealing with ROCD?

I’ve been really struggling with Relationship OCD since I got married, and 3 years later, I’m afraid I’ve lost the love of my life. Between the Relationship OCD, the Religious OCD, and the Sexuality OCD, she couldn’t handle it anymore. Now that she left, the fog of doubt has faded, and I’m realizing how much I truly loved her all along. I just don’t understand how our minds can play such sabotaging tricks on us. And why? I don’t know what to do. I hope and pray we eventually get back together, but I know I need help. I want to do whatever I can to return to a place where she can feel loved by me, the way she did before ROCD took over. Is anyone here going through something similar? Has anyone overcome ROCD? Were you able to repair your relationship? I’d really appreciate any insight or advice. Thank you.

I am struggling to live life and do my ERPs. I am taking medication and doing ERP still along with therapy (had 10+ years of PTSD therapy). I don't have anything to look forward to. I've accomplished a lot in life but they don't matter to me anymore. There's little to no reward or there's stimuli of feeling or being treated badly even if I did good. Coping skills have become maladaptive. My values have changed and there is nothing I really want but my ex for the past years. ROCD is making my body react as if I am unable to be happy without my ex. He helped me through hard times and heal from trauma, but he was his own mess of trauma that I could not heal (he needs a real therapist and to go consistently). Yet when I was with him ROCD (didn't know about it at the time) kept telling me to leave from his unreasonable actions. Hard time sitting in limbo as I'm unable to decide and hard to keep doing nothing without something to look forward in life. I feel self abandonment whether I go back to him or stay away. I want to be able to live with myself even if I'll never end up with anyone. I hate not doing something of self care or feeling anything but apathy or worse every day despite doing things anyways. I worked hard to get safe only to have no joy in life anymore.

I just got out of a 4 year relationship that ended around the beginning of February. In the beginning of the 4 year relationship I had intrusive thoughts about the way I was behaving around my partner, this went on for a few months not knowing what it was or that it was ROCD. I remember it was bad and did not want to deal with what I was feeling. I defeated it and was ok for the first 3 years after that. But it just made me feel like I wasn’t being my true, authentic , funny self I wanted to be for my partner. It was horrible. Now I’m in a new relationship that has been awesome as far as the beginning goes but now I’m back to that intrusive thought and ROCD. Irs to the point where I feel like I can’t be myself and I’m not happy or excited about anything anymore I’m constantly stressed out thinking about it.