i just came accross a reel that was like "the book of answers" where you ask a question and the person opens a page with the supposed answer, and so i wanted to ask if i was gay but then i went "but last time you came accross something like this they said yes" and so the answer was "yes but don't force it". why am i not panicking??????

Could it be backdoor spike?

not to reassure, but those silly reels/videos/etc. of people answering your question mean absolutely nothing. they’re literally just people flipping random pages/whatever without any deeper meaning or accuracy whatsoever. don’t let your ocd feed off of these silly things! :) <3 at one point i got really scared about these fortune/answer readings whatever and i’d really panic when i didn’t panic, too — but i think it’s because deep down i knew they were meaningless, you know? some stranger over the internet “answering” a question by randomly flipping a page can’t predict/know whoever it is you are. i hope this helps :)

i know and it's like now i can reason with logic? why am i not panicking? i am not even panicking about not panicking

It is okay to not panic. Your brain isn’t reacting the way you thought it would, but that is okay. On the other side, would you rather panic? Maybe it is a good thing you are not. I sounds like you are better dealing with thoughts now than what you are expecting, which is progress. I also think it is important to know that even if you are gay or not, there is no reason to worry about that. Now it is much more accepting in society and there are lots of people who you can meet who you will connect with. Overtime I think accepting who you are is a big step. It is very difficult sometimes, but it will give you great comfort in the long run.

do you think i am?????

@Lilyrosalynd Unfortunately I can’t tell you, but I can tell you that many people worry at some point about being gay. People who are actually gay AND people who are not. I think it is something everyone thinks about it from time to time. But your OCD seems to be triggering it more than others. I would say at some point in your life, it will be very obvious if you are gay or not. It is good that you are trying to learn more about yourself. If I had to give advice, I think the best thing to do would be watch/read other people’s stories about how they knew they were gay. If you can connect with them, it might give some answers. Also think about who you have crushes on (men or women or both). The LGBTQ community is MASSIVE and there are tons of people to listen to on their experiences. It can also offer support if you do decide to “come out”. There is nothing to be scared about either way. Both people who identify as straight and gay find good relationships and happy lives. Just being yourself will give you the most happiness.