Imo suicidal ocd is one the hardest themes to deal with. Becuase it feels like it could be real because killing yourself can be a result of a mental illness. It's just difficult becuase I don't know if I actually want to, or if it's ocd. This just makes it hard. I've had this theme for over a year, no self harm or attempts or anything but what if I want to. I don't wish I were dead. All I want is to be happy. HOW do I deal with this theme?? Any advice? Please??

Evelyn4416

Date posted: 3y

This is my first and biggest theme up to this day, it started for me about 2 years ago. Everything you said I completely relate to. Honestly what has the most is doing ERP. I started about a year and a half ago and it helped a ton. It still shows up for me but not to the level of intensity or frequency as before. My advice would be to, if you’re not already doing so, connect with a therapist who does ERP. Regardless of the subtype, OCD is treated the same - exposing ourselves to our fears/triggers and not doing any compulsions whatsoever. It’s hard and takes time, but it’s so worth it. OCD creates a ton of doubts, it’s just the nature of it. But we have to learn to be okay with these doubts, to be okay with the uncertainty of “maybe, maybe not, regardless I continue on”. You’re absolutely not alone in this, I’m right there with you 💛

Rozzie

Date posted: 3y

I have a therapist who doesn't specifically trained for ERP but he does know how to do it and how it works, and is still helping me do it. I am doing some self guided ERP rn (I wrote an exposure and read it every night three times. I sometimes don't really get a reaction which scares me). I've considered buying (and my therapist thinks it would be a good idea) Nathan Peterson's online OCD self guided course too.

Evelyn4416

Date posted: 3y

@Rozzie Seems like you are on the right track. Be very aware and make sure all compulsions are being cut during exposures, there have been many on the way where I wasn’t aware I was doing them and had to learn. Keep up the exposures, sharpen other tools such as mindfulness, and you are on the right path!

cows12465

Date posted: 25w

suic ocd

the thoughts that have been making me super anxious recently is every-time I’m around someone im happy with my mind is like “they will miss you” or “they will wonder why you did it when your always happy” it’s eating me i hate it. i’m tired of this theme, it’s been on and off for three years. but it makes me more anxious now the it does before. please share tips

Draykewampler

Date posted: 23w

fear of death and ocd

so i have ocd but this is the main theme ive been dealing with for the last few months, im obsessed with my mortality and i feel trapped by the reality of death. i dont really believe in an afterlife which makes it scarier, not that i dont wanna my brain literally just wont let me. but i have daily panic attacks thinking about death all day, its honestly the toughest thing ive ever dealt with. does anybody have any tips on how they manage this if they have ever dealt with it? not looking for reassurance, just some non compulsive ways to kind of lessen the grip of the fear.

tayloraniston

Date posted: 15w

Suicidal ocd

I’m not suicidal by any means, I had a thought one time when I was going through some stuff and ever since then I wake up every morning and think about it all day I have thoughts like “did I mean that?” “Did I want that?” “Am I gonna think this all day” “would I really do that” and literally it’s to the point it’s driving me nutssss please tell me I’m not alone and please tell me how you got through this, I started antidepressants about 6 days ago it’s called Effexor for the mean time I need some advice

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