Why do I only get ocd thoughts when I pray at night it’s like it waits for the right moment to attack me

Have you ever been through Very bad thoughts about your brain wants to twist anything about good or bad like evil and good which is god and sat*n and panicking because you believe In god but your brain is messing with you have you ever felt like you're afraid you had commit blasmphy in your thoughts It's very bad thoughts like omg where does these toughts come from?? Please tell me your experience One moment I feel okay and I can pray and vent to god and other moment I'm so ashamed of myself for thinking like that Am I alone in this am I crazy?

It’s night rn where I’m at and I’ve been getting bombarded with thoughts and I have anxiety I tried doing compulsions because before doing them I could feel my heartbeat from the anxiety now I’m a bit less anxious but nowhere near close to calm because no matter how many times I see that I’m not gay it keeps coming back.

It’s so hard to pray to God. I don’t want o put him on the back burner but I get anxiety talking to him and sitting in his presence. Then I will force myself to but then I just feel dumb since my flesh doesn’t want me to. And I pray and rush it then immediately scroll on my phone after cuz I get stressed and don’t know how to hear from him bc if I pray and just wait for Him I will get intrusive thoughts over and over and like I can’t even hear him anyway my mind is constantly going 1 million miles an hour and I have so many real life problems too on top of the ocd that makes it even harder.