- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
You could explain to him the issue if you’re comfortable. OCD makes it feel like it’s something wrong with him but it’s not.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve been there. I couldn’t tell whether it was my relationship OCD or whether he actually wasn’t “the one.” I still don’t know. Loosing your libido is very normal after awhile but if that frightens you, you could talk to him about it. I suggest talking out of any other option. He can get to know you and how your brain is working so he can recognize when something is wrong. It’s extremely difficult and scary but it’s something you’re strong enough to do.
- Date posted
- 3y
I fear that he will misunderstand my OCD for doubting the relationship
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for making me feel understood
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I was scared of that too. I didnt tell him the most gruesome parts of my OCD. For example, I wouldn’t tell him how I always questioned if the relationship was wrong, or how I could never stop questioning if I actually liked him. You do want to spare them in some way so that you don’t hurt them. Unless there is a fundamental issue, don’t tell them about the doubts that OCD feeds you. Explain to him how OCD makes you feel, and don’t over load. Give him a chance to ask questions if he wants
- Date posted
- 3y
I just watched a video on how to tell whether something is relationship OCD or wisdom, and it named traits that show you it’s wisdom (e.g. that it will always be a quiet voice in the back of your mind) and now I’m spiraling and convincing myself that it really is wisdom and not OCD. It’s the same pattern with every episode: I tell myself that THIS TIME it’s real, because some part feels different than last time and thus is not OCD.
- Date posted
- 3y
I needed to get this off my chest. Glad if anyone can help.
- Date posted
- 3y
You could show him a video. Awaken into love on YouTube has a video for the partners so someone with ROCD
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
for me it’s getting to the point where i don’t feel in love with my boyfriend anymore. i’m trying to keep myself from compulsing since my compulsions are all mental. it’s like the thoughts consume my mind every second of every day and i can’t catch a break. it’s like i want to be with him so bad but my brain won’t allow me. any advice?
- Date posted
- 21w
I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
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