This sounds like catastrophizing (a cognitive distortion). I have thoughts like this too. You don't have to figure out the future right now. Focus on what you need to do today to put yourself on the path to healing, do that thing, and then give yourself a break. It's really hard to predict how you will feel in the future. You might also think about how you are talking to yourself right now - sounds like you are being pretty hard on yourself.
I have recovered from contamination ocd and I want to become a mental health nurse.