- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for this. Mine is slowly relapsing I think, and I’ve always hated how people react to this. I’m honestly scared to talk about my SOOCD with people I trust, because I’m afraid they’ll tell me I’m gay/bi/pan/etc. I don’t want to be gay- it’s something that just doesn’t seem to fit with me, and I’m scared that my life is a lie and that I’m a lie and that I’m gay- Sorry for the rant I totally agree with this 💛
- Date posted
- 3y
Felt that
- Date posted
- 3y
👏 This, this, this. I feel like SOOCD has less of a black and white morality standing in terms of right and wrong and therefore people LOVE to jump to conclusions and project their sexual orientation onto people. I connect so much to the fears you've stated like losing your partner or losing your identity. There's so much more to SOOCD than gay or not or straight or not and it needs to just as validated as the other themes.
- Date posted
- 3y
YES. this comment brought me peace thank you
- Date posted
- 3y
I dont even feel like Im losing a part of my identitt anymore, just feels like this is my real one
- Date posted
- 3y
ALSO I just wish we changed the way we talk about it in general. Like being more neutral and really emphasizing SOOCD instead of HOCD to be more inclusive of the LGBTQ+ that have this theme because anyone can have it about being any sexuality. I assume they feel kind of left out in the conversation because a lot of rhetoric and resources exclude them. I think being more inclusive about it would help change the idea that it only impacts heterosexual people who fear being exclusively homosexual (which carries a LOT of negative connotations with it that get generalized to this form of OCD) and hopefully showing people it impacts everyone and cannot be generalized to whatever people assume with HOCD. Also talking more about how it really has nothing to do with sexuality. I sometimes get caught up in the thoughts and how real/literal it seems that I forget that I don’t technically have sexuality problem. I have a core fear and an identity problem. We all do. It’s just that our OCD really chose to fixate on sexuality for whatever reason. I think breaking down this OCD into core fears and identity can help reduce some of the stigma that comes with people assuming it is about sexuality. Anyway that’s my continued vent I guess.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes. 💚💚💚💚
- Date posted
- 3y
Ugh yes mine is slowly coming back
- Date posted
- 3y
I have similar thoughts regarding gender identity OCD.
- Date posted
- 3y
Agreed!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Here are some things that make me feel alone and isolated in my journey with sexual orientation OCD: 1. This feels like a complete identity crisis. I think that is what makes it so hard. It seems to go against everything I believe myself to be and who I always have identified as. 2. My compulsions, thoughts, triggers, and everything else that comes along with this disease feels and seems like I’m the only one that struggles with those things. My thoughts and images in my head often seems so real that it can only be me in denial. 3. Because this sub type of OCD is so sexual in nature, it has made my sex life with my husband, a really hard situation. Because I always get afraid and sex that I will think of these thoughts, I subconsciously then think of those thoughts, and if I have any type of feeling associated with those thoughts, it feels like proof that those thoughts are real and that makes it even harder. 4. Because a lot of the pleasure that comes with sex is on hot for me while I’m figuring out in this journey with OCD, my mind has convinced me that it is because I will only feel those things if I were with someone at the same sex (I am a straight female. I have a fear of being homosexual.). Well, all those things have made it really hard for me to function daily, I am doing a lot better at finding ways to combat those. I wanted to offer some of the things that I find that help me move past these thoughts and while it’s not always a perfect fix, it’s really helped. 1. I tried to remind myself daily that while love is a feeling it’s also choice. I have to remind myself to get up every single day and choose my husband not because I always feel like choosing him because that is who I choose. That is who I want. That is who I want to grow a relationship with to have a child with Thus why I always don’t feel that love, I always choose it. And while this can be really hard because just society as a whole has made us have these unrealistic ideas about what love is and made us think that love is just this huge with butterflies and sparks, it’s not always that. 2. I try to remind myself that these are just thoughts. And thoughts are not who I am. I don’t have to become the thoughts. I’m not a bad person for thinking of thoughts, and I don’t have to believe the thoughts. 3. When I get, like I often do, groinal responses to the things that I am thinking or seeing in my mind I just remind myself that those are responses to the anxiety I have. I’m not thinking those because I want to think those, but it’s in a response too The fear that I will think those and that I will get that response and then in turn I get the response. 4. I tried to remind myself that this isn’t a fear of coming out like if I was gay, this is a fear associated with a thought that I would be because that’s not who I am. If I really was gay, I would like the thought I would like the pleasure and I would be afraid of coming out. But in this situation, I don’t want any of the thoughts not because I’m afraid of coming out of this because it’s not who I am. If that makes sense.
- Date posted
- 22w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
- Date posted
- 16w
Lately I’ve seen way too many comments under posts about OCD, especially the harm, POCD, and relationship themes that are incredibly misinformed and honestly harmful. People saying things like “these thoughts are unnatural,”or “you need to go get real help” and encouraging confession ***compulsions*** when they clearly have no understanding of how OCD actually works. Let me be clear: OCD involves distressing and unwanted thoughts, images, or urges. That doesn’t make someone dangerous. It makes them someone with a mental illness who is terrified of their own brain. Saying these people are “unnatural” or implying they’re broken only reinforces shame, and shame is the opposite of what helps anyone heal. If you’re commenting under OCD-related posts on an OCD ***app*** without understanding what intrusive thoughts are, or what compulsions can look like, or **how OCD can attach itself to the things we fear most** then please, stop. You are not helping. You’re reinforcing stigma and pushing people further into silence. OCD is already isolating. We don’t need more people moralizing or projecting trauma theory onto something they haven’t experienced or don’t understand. If you really care, go learn. Read about intrusive thoughts. Learn about ERP therapy. Or maybe just listen. Because some of us are barely hanging on, and comments like those don’t just miss the point, they can do real damage. I’m sorry if I come off too angry, it just really upsets me to see people speak on something they clearly don’t understand. End of rant. Thank you for reading 🤍
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