- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
This theme has taken so much from me. My confidence, my self esteem, my relationships, and just my motivation in life. Iāve wanted to give up so many times but Iām still here. Fighting. This theme is so debilitating and scary and my heart goes out to everyone suffering from this horrible disorder. Stay strong friends and never forget you are not alone too. Thank you for the words of encouragement and kindness. God bless
- Date posted
- 3y
ā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for this!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hi I kept seeing this app on repeat on TikTok over and over and I thought I give it a shot. I have never been diagnosed with OCD but I know that I have it. Iām a young adult and I found out the first time I had OCD was watching lelelons truth video? I was 14 at the time She had to resist sitting back down in a chair after her having sat down she started having a mental break down when she was told to resist. Thatās when I knew. It started with myself going up and down a staircase twice buckling unbuckling my seat belt everytime Iām in the car ect I have always been super anti social but trying my best I can socialize but my mind wants to make it sexual with family and friends ughhhh I hate it because thatās not me when I graduated thoughts of hurting my loved ones corrupted my mind I broke down outside of church one time asking if this was really me or not i question if Iām a good enough friend or person in this world to begin with thinking everyone is judging me so so close how can I make this situation better did I do something wrong I struggle with depression as well not to bad but itās there I come from a loving family but broken as well i believe in god and my OCD makes me go often heās not real that stuff isnāt real no one is there to save you the list goes on. Anyway I struggle a lot and I really hope that this will help me because I feel extremely hopeless. Lucky for me I do have the ability to seek therapy and I am excited. The only person I ever tell my thoughts to is God no other human has heard so Iām really really hoping this helps me out if your reading this thank you it means a lot because this is my first time ever admitting all this itās a lot to take in I know and I hope you are ok and that you have a great night and know that we got this
- Date posted
- 22w
I was going to ask for advice and vent after i just had an episode but reading through everyones post on here. I can see that everyone is collectively struggling at the moment and i think we need to utilize this community for more than just sharing our sadness. Nothing is wrong with venting of course but i feel like there isnt enough positive energy here to encourage everyone to keep going. I know asking for reassure feels like a must sometimes and trust me everyone has asked for it, it was a heavy compulsion of mine. But reassure is not what you need. It will make it worse everyone please trust me. Instead of letting out mind win we must support each other, understand our struggles but also share out wins. I feel like we dont use this community enough for finding friendship among us or spreading enough happiness. OCD Is not a happy disorder but seeing that everyone here is just here either hating on someone, people being too afraid to ask for help or no one reading peoples post. This place isnt just for our negative thoughts and events to fester we need to support each other here too! Ask for help, comment on peoples post with love everyone is struggling. In this community we should help pull each other out from dark places not let them stay there. I hope everyone who is going through it right has a better night/day/afternoon. Youāre loved deeply your not a monster, your not evil, your not dirty, your not a heretic your Nothing your thoughts tell you are. Peace to youš¤š¤š¤š¤
- Date posted
- 21w
Itās been 4 years. 4 years since I spiralled into a world controlled by rituals of 4, it started as 2, then 3, then 4 - my safe number. The amount of times I wash my hands after touching something dirty and how many repeats it takes until I feel ācleanā, the amount of taps I make when closing doors to make sure I donāt ādieā, the amount of times I rinse cutlery and plates before eating off them, the amount of times I disinfect things. My OCD subtype is contamination and I know 2020 lockdowns and the pandemic caused it to spiral but what started as a small ritual quickly became bigger until I no longer remembered what my life was like without the obsessive thoughts of germs and contamination. Could that person be ill? What if I go outside to the shops and someone makes me sick? You canāt answer the door to get that package from the delivery driver because he might make you sick, oh you canāt put the shopping away without disinfecting it first - what if someone has coughed on it? āIāve got to wear gloves to do thatā I canāt, I canāt, I canāt. For 4 years Iāve lived like this, the āI donāt want to touch thatā or āI canāt go to this place because I donāt want to get ill and dieā ācan you go do that for me as I donāt think I can right nowā - I know my OCD is irrational, I know the likelihood of those things actually happening are slim to none and I know my OCD stems from a need of control in my life because for so many years I felt like everything in my life was out of my control. But no matter how much I know of how many books I read, how many mindful practices I do the panic I feel after being āexposedā or before exposing myself to a trigger is horrible. Iāve avoided and avoided and avoided to the point where something small now seems and feels like an impossible mountain to climb. It often feels like there isnāt light at the end of the tunnel on the dark days, when I know there is, itās just going to take some time. Despite this on the outside to those not in my circle my life is a whole picture perfect painting. I run my own business, have a nice car, a nice house, a happy relationship and the of best friends and Iām so grateful for all those things but the reality is much different - behind closed doors and hidden in the closest is the OCD monster. Iāve decided now, after 4 years itās time to change. Iām breaking the cycle and starting anew. The irony that 4 is my safe number too and itās been 4 years since things started to get dark. Iām ready to lose control and find myself again. Why am I writing this? Honestly, I really donāt know. I found this app recently and hope it can be a help for my ERP practices Iāve been practicing on my own and itās actually the first time Iāve ever openly posted or spoken about my OCD to date. For years I have lived with a huge amount of shame and embarrassment, hiding my issues from everyone - even my closest friends have no idea how much it impacts my day to day. Iāve felt shame as I canāt control my own mind despite knowing the thoughts are irrational and the rituals only provide temporary relief but each day again and again the safety blanket of the rituals wraps me up and takes over. The only person who truly knows how much it affects me is my partner, who has been by my side through it all, heās burnt out and has seen first hand the impact it has had on me, my life and my happiness. Iāve sheltered him as much as I can, but Iām sure those who are in relationships with OCD can relate to the burnout their partner feels day in day out. So thatās my story, I hope those going through similar can take comfort in this and know they arenāt alone in it all as my OCD has made me feel so incredibly lonely, isolated and empty for 4 years too long. It feels freeing to finally share my monster and I hope I can connect with others who are on a similar journey to me. The biggest thing I want to be able to do again? I want to be able to hug my loved ones without feeling triggered, I want to go outside and enjoy life without worry, I want to live again. This app has made me feel seen for the first time in a long time and reading your stories, your experiences and how youāre coping is comforting, encouraging and makes me feel less alone ā¤ļø thank you for reading x
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