- Username
- hannie
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Happens to me all the time . In fact , before I made a comment to you , I was giving someone advice and the entire time I was having blasphemous thoughts while trying to encourage and give Biblical truths . I struggle with blasphemous/ intrusive thoughts . As I’m typing this to you , I’m struggling . We all understand . The most frustrating part is rededicating yourself to God , reading the Word , and then becoming so defeated and distressed by the thoughts that you never progress . If that’s what you’re going through ….so am I . I’m going to try to continue my New Testament reading and do my best to push forward . Hopefully you’re able to do the same with your spiritual walk ! I’ll be praying for you ! God bless !
Thank you so much for commenting! I struggle with those thoughts as well and it’s so hard sometimes cause I read the word and trust in God a hundred percent but it’s like those thoughts bombard me out of nowhere and it makes me feel so low. I know exactly what you are going through and I’m so sorry you have to struggle with this too. Thank you so much and I will be saying prayers for you. I know God has us and we will get through it. He doesn’t give us anymore then we can handle it’s just hard in the moment to remember. You are so strong! God bless!
Also , glad to know that I’m not alone , you know ? It’s definitely hard because more times than not , even in the church , you feel so alone . No one truly understands. It’s just “ stop thinking like that “ , “ rebuke those thoughts “ , which all are true , however it’s so much deeper than that to me because of how I process things . My wife can get a bad thought , and she’s just like , whatever that’s not real or that’s not my thought , but I’m wayyyyy different . I analyze thought , get on google and YouTube , I stress out , and then I get into my performance mode out of guilt and start wanting to pray , worship , read my Bible which leads to exhaustion because I do to the highest extent .
One rather helpful and profound thing I read recently is that 2 Cor. 10:5 is not about thought suppression.
Happens frequently with me
Me too
I’m sorry you have been feeling this way for so long. I can relate more then you know, It’s been about 5 years for me. I have different themes too but this theme is the one I struggle with the most. I believe it’s because it’s the most important to me. I know how tired and defeated you are feeling and I would be lying if I said I don’t feel that way regularly but I know one things for sure, God never gives us more then we can handle. I know this feels like a lot but I know he sees you trying and I know he’s proud of you. Even when you feel like you’re disappointing him, know that’s all lies. This isn’t you fault, it’s how our brains try and protect us as crazy as that sounds. Our minds know we are fearful of this thoughts so it’s like never ending warning us that these thoughts are dangerous even when they are the complete opposite of who we are. I am like you and wish I would of never known what the unpardonable sin was but I do know people who truly commit it, don’t care that they did. The don’t know God and they don’t want to. We do cause we love God more then anything. I am like you and when these thoughts hit, I can’t think of anything else and it puts me in a funk. I also know God has given me peace from these thoughts before and I truly felt like he was telling me it wasn’t my fault and he loves me. Just know you are not alone. God loves you too. We are his children and we didn’t ask for this to happen. I’ve been so low before I thought there was something really wrong with me but I know I struggle from an anxiety disorder I have no control over. There are more then just us too who struggle with this theme. Please don’t give up. God sees your struggle, and he’s with you. He’s strengthening you during this time and you will make it. Even on your worst day, just keep pushing. I was in counseling off and on for 10 years. I also struggle with other anxiety issues and PTSD.
I also rebuke thoughts constantly as well as asking Jesus to help me over and over. We have to realize this is OCD too. It’s so hard because we don’t want to feel like we have committed that sin or that God won’t forgive us so we constantly try and replace bad thoughts with good ones and it’s so tiring. I’ve heard people say that we are not our thoughts. I do believe that when I’m not anxious but when my OCD is bad it’s hard to look past anything else. I had an idea once that does help when I’m not to bad. When I would have a intrusive thought, I would grab a paper and pen and write down what I was feeling after the thoughts. Not the thought itself but just like if my heart was racing, my chest was tight, if I was dizzy, shaky, and so on and I would begin to Recognize that as anxiety. I would then focus on breathing and bringing myself into the present moment and it would help clear my mind for a moment just so I could gain a moment of peace. It would help me realize that my OCD was the reason I was feeling this way and it wasn’t my faith. We do have to remember we are struggling with an actual medical condition and God knows we have OCD and can’t help it. He wants the best for us and he’s with us in the storm.
I promise to continue to pray for you. Please don’t beat yourself up for it, you are human and God knows this. He knows you love him so much. Just keep taking care of you, and know God is strong enough to fight this for you and he is fighting for you in your storm. I think everyone needs to feel not alone and I’m so glad to help and be here.you have helped me so much too. It’s a very scary thing and it’s hard to explain to someone who isn’t going through it but it’s so good to have an amazing support system. I have a job I absolutely love! I work for a real estate firm and it’s a dream job. I am really close with my family and love them so much. I live so close to my mom and brother and they are my biggest support. I actually work with both of them as well which helps a ton! You are definitely a friend and family in Christ! I know God is with you and I know he will protect and be your comfort for life. You stay safe as well!
Thank you so much for giving me encouragement. So you get blasphemous thoughts as well ? And also I don’t even feel that it’s thoughts anymore , I feel that I’m just making everything blasphemous because that’s all in my mind now . Does that make sense ?
We are struggling eith the exact same thing!yes I get those thoughts a lot too! It’s so hard and I’ll pray constantly asking God to take those thoughts and telling him I don’t mean it, that it’s not me but they just make me feel so awful. I’ll say over and over that I reject those thoughts in Jesus name but when it hits me I’m left feeling like I’m so far from God even when I know he knows I can’t help it. I constantly ask my family members if they have thoughts and they all tell me that they do but they don’t make meaning out of them, just take it for what it is and that it’s just a thought. Man I wish my brain would not make meaning out of them😂. I constantly pray and ask for forgiveness. It’s so exhausting. I a hundred percent know what you mean! They just come out of nowhere when you don’t want them or when you’re not even thinking about it on purpose. Those are the worst because it feels like you have been kicked in the stomach. I’m sorry you have to go through this as well but just know God loves us like a father and he knows are struggle and I know for a fact he’s not angry at us the way that we feel. A person truly ok with turning away from God would not feel the guilt we do. Our faith is important to us and that’s why we struggle so much. He’s never not fighting for us and I know he sees us trying. He loves us deeply. You are so strong and you will get through this. Maybe we are meant to help others not feel so alone too. Thank you so much for commenting, It really helped me feel less alone and just knowing I have someone to relate too really helps! Keep staying strong. This too shall pass👏🏻
Sorry that was a lot😂
I also know what you mean by performance mode because I notice when I am having those thoughts I’m praying constantly and over and over as well as readying the word trying to counter act those bad thoughts.
Reading the comment that you just posted has me in shock . I literally am talking to the girl version of myself. I’ve been dealing with this for about 10 months now . I’m so depressed and confused . It’s so hard to push through or do anything spiritually purposeful. I am drained , honestly . I’d rather not be created at this very moment. I really wish that my mind was differently and that I never stumbled upon the “unpardonable sin “ passage in the Bible . That’s when it all started . Others don’t understand. So relieving that you understand. I literally rebuke the thoughts all day long , I even mess up while rebuking the thoughts , try reading but the thoughts are flooding my mind . I literally can’t enjoy anything because I give so much attention to these thoughts. It’s not that I don’t want to listen to others , but when a person goes through this for so long it’s like I only The Lord Himself to give me assurance. Obviously He speaks through people, but I’m just telling how I feel . Hopefully, this ends soon . Not sure how long I have but man im exhausted . I’m losing strength when I pray and rebuke these thoughts . Sorry to Be so down . Are you in counseling?
I can’t believe that I’m speaking to you . I had asked God to show me someone that is going through the same thing . I was so convinced that no one else’s issue is like mine . I’m sooo glad that I met you . Although this is confidential, I had to screen record our conversations and show my wife . I’m just amazed that I actually found someone that is literally and I mean literally is going through the same exact thing . Most people have similar issues , but yours is exactly like mine . I feel like I’m talking to myself when I’m talking to you . I don’t even have a response because I don’t have to explain myself because you just explained “me” to me . It’s a huge struggle . The biggest is scariest that I’ve ever been through . Most times , I just want to throw in the towel and give up . Having a fear of what if I do commit the unpardonable sin . That’s what drives more anxiety through the roof . Praying constantly that God would give me assurance before I commit the sin because then I’ll know that I’m safe and assured . I also deal with rebuking the thoughts every 15 - 20 seconds . There are so many bad thoughts that I’ve retained and trying to rebuke them all just leads me to rebuking it incorrectly and saying something that I shouldn’t because I made a mistake . It’s so hard to manage all of these unwanted thoughts . A lot of times , it’s easier to give up and live my past life . I’ve struggled with lusting before and that used to be my comfort and if I’m being completely honest ….it still is . I tend to just want to get on the internet and do things that I shouldn’t do . I do think about how selfish I’m being towards God or my wife , I just focus on my own compulsions and sinful comforts . I’m just being completely honest here . I’ve held my Jesus sign on the streets , read my Bible , wrote notes , worship, prayed but it’s all out of fear . Yes , I love to do those things , but most of the time fear drives me to do it because I want to hopefully gain His forgiveness or mercy . Although , I cannot gain it because it’s freely given , in the moment it’s how I operate . I’m constantly triggered by certain sermons at church , things I hear or see on tv , or things in public . Sometimes , I even have to turn the radio off because it’s a trigger as well . Keep in mind these are things that I enjoyed doing before this unhealthy cycle started . I just can’t even imagine my self being healed from this . It’s such a bad way to be because it’s impossible to please Him without faith. Why do I know the truth , but yet not apply it , right ? When a person is stuck in this cycle , it’s how one will tend to operate . I’m honestly a bit numb now . I’m more scared and fearful than I’ve ever been . I’m worried a lot ! Prayers are losing strength. Joy is decreasing . Faith is decreasing . Hopeful is becoming hopeless . I really need His healing on my mind . I’ve been soooo hard on myself . I condemn myself and allow no room for grace . I live with an attitude of “ it’s all my fault “ , or “ I wish I wasn’t ever created “ . This is a tough battle . I’m holding on to the fact that I’m strong and that God has a plan for me . Many people tell me that in spite of my flaws and bad thoughts that I’m special and He has a calling on my life. It’s the only hope that I have . When is this ever going to end ? I don’t know ! I’ve prayed for you and I recently ! Glad I met you . Never ever thought I’d meet someone like me . You’re a blessing whether you know it or not . I don’t feel so alone after all . Thanks for replying the way that you do !
Hey Hannie . Haven’t heard from you in a few days . Hope your thanksgiving went well . Looking forward to talking to you soon . God bless !
I honestly believe God just showed us we aren’t alone in this and that at the end of the day he loves us for loving him! You don’t know how good it is to know I’m not alone. Though I would never wish this torture on anyway, it’s nice to know I have someone I can relate too. OCD is to tiring at times and I know how exhausted you feel. When I tell you I beg God all day almost everyday to take a thought from me or rebuke the thoughts. I know what you mean by rebuking incorrectly! It’s almost like when I am rebuking, my brain will sabotage me and I have that same intrusive thoughts while I’m trying to get rid of it! Honestly I started reading the Bible again because my intrusive thoughts were so bad! Though it did bring me comfort when I would pray and God would tell me things I needed to hear, I noticed I did it more to feel less guilt then to worship and that’s when I realized my OCD was taking over. I know how you’re feeling but don’t give up! You can fight this and God is still with you even if you feel far away from him! Believe people when the tell you how special you are. That is God talking through them to you. All those thoughts we have about being a bad person are lies. I’m so glad I met you and I’m able to make you feel less alone. You definitely have done that for me. Thank you so much for the prayers, that means so much to me. I also have said prayers for you. God is always with you, always fighting for you, and loves you more then you can even understand. Know he doesn’t blame you or want you to feel shame for theses thoughts. They aren’t from your heart. I have to realize this too.
@Junior96! I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with your loved ones! God bless always!
@hannie You never fail to amaze me ! Wow that was a beautiful message . Again , you don’t realize how much you’ve uplifted me recently . You’re literally an answered prayer . Wow . This is crazy . Thanks so much for taking your time to text that . Thanks for the encouragement. Since you are just like me , just make sure that you are applying it . We tend to know what’s right , say what’s right then when it’s time to apply it , unfortunately we don’t . I’m going to continue to pray for you . You are loved and cared about . I’ve been talking about you a lot to my wife . She has a super soft spot for you because she knows what I go through and the severity . You’ll get through this as well . My thanksgiving was well . My wife , my 2 month old daughter and bernedoodle had an amazing time . We just slept and ate and continued that all day long . It was peaceful . I know you aren’t on here as often , but man I wish you were . I can’t be selfish because it’s another compulsion of mine . Glad to know you’re well .
@Junior96! By the way , it may seem strange to you as to why I’m so amazed but it’s just that I’ve been going through this for a while with severe intensity . Days of depression , calling prayer lines , meeting with pastors , crying on wife’s shoulder , holding my head down at work , taking prayer walks , crying and singing all took a huge toll on my mind , faith and hope . So when I asked God to show me someone that was just like me because I felt so rare , here you are . Feels like I have a twin that was separated at birth , and now we’re reunited . Have you seen those stories 😂. If so , that’s how I am going about this . I really would like for one day ( it doesn’t have to be now ) , for my wife and I to have a talk with you . I know you don’t know me and vice versa and this isn’t the platform for that , but I just believe that would be a blessing to you and I . There’s so much that I want to share and I don’t have the time to type on here and things . For now , I enjoy your posts . Thanks for always making my day ! You’re truly awesome .
I’m so glad that God was able to use me to help you.It always amazes me how caring and amazing our God is, even through our storms he uses us for good and I’m glad I got to be a part of that. It makes me think that he’s helping me navigate OCD to help others and that brings me a little peace. I hope you know you are never alone and you can take comfort in knowing I’m right here in the struggle with you and I truly believe we will conquer this and it will only make us stronger. It definitely is easier to uplift other more so then myself at times! Thank you so much for the prayers! I will be saying many for you. I pray God brings you comfort, peace and strength as you walk through OCD. I’m so glad you have your wife to support and uplift you through this! It’s so amazing to have a strong support system. I’m so glad I was able to help an any way I can. If there is any positive I can take from OCD this is it. I always want to help people and this just made me feel so good knowing I brought you a little peace! I’m also so glad to hear that you had an amazing Thanksgiving. It sounds so cozy and peaceful! I try to get on here when I can but I’ve been checking to see your reply’s! I’ll be here to talk too! I’m so glad I was able to make your day and I thank you for making mine! As always, God bless!
There you go !! It’s funny because I look for your post first . Such a blessing to receive your encouragement. Thanks for sharing that with me . Thank you for going through this with me . Even as a grown man , I want someone to help me and hold my hand . I’m just being honest . This is a scary battle . I’ve given it to the Lord though . This will come to pass . I’m doing my best to refrain from sin at this time . I’ve noticed that when I get defeated , stressed out or anything , I become susceptible to lustful desires . Please pray for me in that regard . I’ll continue to be praying for you . I don’t know much about you . Do you have a family ? Anything work- related ? Please let me know . You’re my friend and sister in Christ ! We’re family ! Have a blessed one and stay safe !
Thanks for your encouragement! Your words are very genuine and I hold those near to me because it keeps me going . It’s hope ! Thank you for that . It is a lot that we are going through , but as you said God is always fighting for me . Lately , I’ve been super guilty with the way I’ve handled temptation and things like that . Desire to sin seems so easy than before . I believe I’m just getting numb or feeling defeated . I did speak to a close friend of mine who is older than I am. He gave me advice which will help me moving forward . Also , that’s awesome that you have your dream job . May God bless you and your future desires ! Thanks for always reaching out to me . I’m going to actually take a break from the app for about a week . I believe that this is a blessing however I’m spending to much time on here . There’s pros and cons to that , you know ? I was just waiting on you to respond back just so you wouldn’t think I’m ignoring you . You’re a great friend so I want to keep the communication going . When I do get back on here , I’ll give a comment and continue the encouragement to one another . They really do help ! I’m going to continue to pray for you and we’ll text soon ! God bless you Hannie !
You are so welcome and I’m so glad I could do that for you. You have helped me too, so thank you so much for that. I know how you are feeling. It feels as if it’s easier to give into the OCD and then you’re left eith this sinking, guilty feeling. We have to remember, that everyone on earth is going to sin. God knows that but he sees us trying to turn away and I really believe that’s what counts. He knows our hearts and he knows our minds are weak. I’m so glad you were able to get advice from a friend! That always helps and brings comfort. I pray God always blesses you and Your loved ones. I’ll be praying for you always now. You’ve been in all my prayers lately. I know God is with you. I know what you mean about taking a break, I have to do that to cause I started to see I was using it for reassurance.you are such a great friend and human being and I’m so glad we got to talking. I’m looking forward to your text. God bless you always!!!
GoodEvening Hannie ! Hope that all is well . I’ve been praying for you and your family by the way . I just started getting back on the app every once and a while , so I wanted to give you a text and say hello . I thought I lost your name because the posts that we had were gone . I guess the app removed old messages , so I literally had to scroll through my posts and look for the very first time that I’ve texted you 😂. But anyway , just would really like some prayer . These blasphemous thoughts are really getting to me . I know it’s the same old sobby story , but it’s the truth . I’m constantly thinking of them . Surrendering to the Lord isn’t an issue , I just honestly don’t know how to live with the fact that if I stop rebuking ( which is a compulsion ) , I am literally going to be thinking of so many blasphemous thoughts . More times than not , I truly believe it’s me . I make every thing blasphemous in my mind . I’m just scared and I don’t want to be accountable for something like this . If I could stop it , I would ! Like man , is God tired of hearing me ask for forgiveness ? Does it even hold any value anymore ? How often do I have to ask for forgiveness? It’s just a lot . Please pray for me . I truly do apologize if it’s a trigger towards you or a hindrance of any sort . Just would really like encouragement and prayer please . God bless you !
I'm religious, so anyone else who is religious I need to know if this happens to y'all. When I read the Bible, which I want to do twice a day, I feel like I have to reread and reread stuff bc if I didn't comprehend it properly, something bad would happen, or my fears would come true. I also have intrusive thoughts that come into my head about what I'm reading and the thoughts will say something bad about the Bible or about God, and it's like I know God knows I didn't say it but I have to "undo" the thought by getting up out of my seat completely, and saying something that "undoes" it then I can sit back down and read. Sometimes I also shake my head or hit myself in the head trying to rid of the thought. And say "no, no, of course not" and stuff like that trying to undo the thought that intruded...
Anyone here struggle with intense, intrusive thoughts and is also a Christian? It’s been so hard to believe that God can forgive me for the thoughts that I have been dealing with specifically related to causing harm to those I love, myself and even total strangers, and as a follower of Jesus I’ve wondered so many times how on earth could I possibly have thoughts like this? It terrifies me
I have these awful intrusive thoughts while I'm attending church and in return I keep compulsively praying and sometimes I wonder that what if God's gonna punish me for not having faith in Him and keep compulsively praying and that He might make all of these horrible thoughts come true .... Oh Lord I'm so scared... wth is wrong with my brian? why won't it shut up?
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