For the longest time I let go of my past mistakes and it didn’t bother me for a while and then all of a sudden it’s like my mind won’t shut up about it and I feel an intense amount of guilt again . Talked to my mom about it a long time ago and also my first therapist (haven’t talked to my current one about it yet) and I asked my mom today if anything that I brought up about my past that I should worry about and she pretty much gave me a lecture that I need to let it go and stop obsessing over it which is easier said than done when you have ocd but hey I can’t expect her to completely understand. I just don’t understand why one day I don’t think about it one bit and then the next I’m having a panic attack and can’t forgive myself because of my past. It’s so frustrating. Any advice? Anyone gone through Real Event Ocd and gotten through it?

Yeah I understand. I actually think I mentioned to you what was bothering me about what happened but it’s just really hard to talk about. It’s more embarrassing than anything and I know it would be better to let it go but I’m so scared that what happened was too bad to let go

@Just Breathe ❤️ It’s okay, just remember that no human goes by in life without making mistakes and definitely embarrassing ones. And I definitely understand you with your mom, my mom has difficulty with understanding my OCD but I love how hard she tries to help me

@OCDHaver I understand I’m just terrified that it means something about me or defines me because I really don’t want it to. I wish my mom could understand better but in the beginning she didn’t even believe I had ocd. She thought it was just cleaning and organizing and her reaction to some of my obsessions did not go very well so I’m glad she’s more understanding than she used to be

@Just Breathe ❤️ The only thing it means about you is that you’ve learned and are even better now. And yeah, my mom didn’t believe I had OCD either, but after sending her a lot of OCD related articles and things, she has been helping me through it as best she can. Sometimes parents don’t know that they’re being invalidating or sometimes unhelpful, probably because they don’t want to imagine their kids having a disorder

@OCDHaver I would never make the same mistakes again. I’m scared what if I’m a horrible monster because of it though? I never have wanted to be and I most definitely don’t want to be now. All because of a stupid fetish I once had. It’s so stupid. The things I’ve come across I don’t think would be considered ya know, the really bad thing I hate to even say it hopefully you know what I’m talking about. Literally everyone with pocd worst fear to come across. I don’t think it was considered that it just had to do with the fetish itself because it was a strange fetish that is really a normal everyday thing but made weird. I don’t know how else to explain it. It freaks me out because my mind keeps trying to tell me that I did it because of the certain things I’ve come across which I NEVER intentionally looked up. You would look up the fetish itself and then there it was sometimes. I was just scrolling through and it happened to be there on the ifunny app which never had anything really bad anyways it was mostly for memes and stuff like that. It wasn’t even sexual if that makes sense? But because masturbation had apart of it, it makes me 100 percent more worse. I hope you know what I’m getting at. Please don’t judge or anything. I really am a good hearted person with good intentions I was just so young and stupid. I would never make the same mistakes again.

@Just Breathe ❤️ Don’t ever worry about me judging you, I totally get you. And I under for sure, a couple of days ago I saw a couple of YouTube thumbnails of supposed leaks of a young celebrity girl, she’s 17 and might’ve been younger in the leaks, it didn’t show anything super serious, but it was still really gross and I hated it, I had to call the suicide prevention because of it, but I went back a couple of days later to report the videos, you can imagine how terrible that was for my POCD. It was horrifying, but don’t worry, people, especially teens or just young people might see weird stuff or things like that, it’s just being human. I’ve watched some really weird and gross things back when I was younger that makes me struggle a lot. I hope I don’t ever come off judgmental, just know this is a safe space for people to talk and to work through OCD together!💜

@OCDHaver I can imagine how hard that must of been with pocd. I think now that im older I just feel so gross about the things I’ve come across but it wasn’t sexual stuff at all. It was all because of a fetish I had but it wasn’t the person in the video, meme gif or whatever or whoever it was just the fetish concept itself that I was into. Unfortunately at the time I didn’t know that because it was a stupid tickling fetish and unfortunately certain things come up when it comes to that stuff but it was just about adult stuff for me then but it just so happened a couple times things could come up in that category for the fetish and I didn’t even realize it could of been wrong. Never even crossed my mind at the time and im kicking myself for being so stupid. I don’t remember how long ago it was. I was either still in highschhool or just got out of high school and that was 4 almost 5 years ago. Why can’t I just let it go? My ocd keeps telling me im some horrible person that needs to be locked up and I literally want to have a panic attack. This is not the life I wanted for myself. I just want to be free

@Just Breathe ❤️ Just remember it’s not the event, it’s the OCD. You’re definitely not alone, we’ll all make it out of this one day, hopefully that day is sooner rather than later 🤞

@OCDHaver I’m so so sorry for over sharing I shouldn’t have done it. I don’t want anyone to think I’m a monster 💔

@Just Breathe ❤️ Pleeease don’t think like that, you haven’t over shared, you’re okay, you’re not a monster at all, you’re a caring person who wishes the best for others

@OCDHaver Thank you I appreciate that

Very true. It’s just hard to forgive myself

Oh I completely understand. Pocd is my main theme but I also struggle with hocd, fearing being bi or a lesbian which I don’t judge with other people I’m not homophobic at all it’s just not what I want for myself. And it also gets twisted with pocd and even my religion so it’s rough. Just know you are not alone

@Just Breathe ❤️ I saw a post from someone who said that bisexual people can’t get HOCD and I got triggered... now I’m triggered because it’s making me think I’m bisexual from gettting triggered by the post when I don’t ever wanna be bisexual in any way... 😭😭😭 I don’t ever wanna be bisexual in any way... it’s making me feel like I’m not anxious of it when I dont ever wanna be bisexual in any way... 😭😭😭

@POCD/RealEventOCD I totally get it. I don’t want to be bi either. I get triggered sometimes too but does that make me bi? No. You can look at someone’s features or think someone is nice looking it doesn’t make you bi or gay it just means you think that person looks nice. But unfortunately that’s when ocd buts in and is like hey because you thought that, that means your attracted to men or in my case women. But ocd attacks what you fear and feeds off that. You have to accept the uncertainty and eventually the fear won’t be there. You have to retrain your brain to not see any danger because when you react a certain way or give it power, it’s going to continue to try and convince you and have power over you. Say “maybe I am bi, maybe I’m not” and move on. When you have an intrusive thought about a guy or a friend or whoever, say “yeah his shirt does look nice on him” and your brain is gonna be like whoa why did you just say that you’re supposed to be scared and eventually it will get the message and you will eventually feel more relief. Ocd is rough but know you are most definitely not alone and we are here for you. Just gotta take it one day at a time. Hope this helps!

@Just Breathe ❤️ I remember watching y*oi h*ntai (anime gay porn) a couple times when I was 14.. and I didn't know what it was at the time... then I was manipulated into experimenting with a friend.. he said it wasn't a homosexual act... and now it's making me think I've repressed my sexuality all this time due to trauma when I just don't ever wanna be homosexual or bisexual... I’m so scared and anxious... please help me... I don’t ever wanna be homosexual or bisexual at all 😭😭😭

@Just Breathe ❤️ I hope you can help me... 😞😞😞

My mom is slowly starting to become more helpful about it but her approach on ocd and the way ocd should be approached are totally different. In the beginning she didn’t even believe I had ocd so I’m glad she’s more understanding I guess. I’m tired of her saying “Just stop obsessing” not quite the right thing to say to someone struggling with ocd

@Newbaby2020$ I swear I commented back but my comment is gone and I don’t see anything else.