- Username
- Magzzz
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Disclaimer: It was never an intention to make the mistake at the time. I had no idea at the time what I was doing and then later remembered it and regretted it ever since. I wish I could go back and change it but I can’t. If I would of known then what I know now, it would of never been an issue. I just want to be free from all this. It’s so scary 💔
I am very much going through real event right now and entirely understand how you’re feeling. I don’t know if you’ve read some of my posts, but it is really difficult, it’s difficult especially when OCD is involved. Mine revolves around using dating apps and sending explicit pics and messages when I was 18. It’s really difficult, but talking to your current therapist should help. It’s REALLY difficult sometimes, but just remember to breathe and know that humans make mistakes, but we learn
Yeah I understand. I actually think I mentioned to you what was bothering me about what happened but it’s just really hard to talk about. It’s more embarrassing than anything and I know it would be better to let it go but I’m so scared that what happened was too bad to let go
@Just Breathe ❤️ It’s okay, just remember that no human goes by in life without making mistakes and definitely embarrassing ones. And I definitely understand you with your mom, my mom has difficulty with understanding my OCD but I love how hard she tries to help me
@OCDHaver I understand I’m just terrified that it means something about me or defines me because I really don’t want it to. I wish my mom could understand better but in the beginning she didn’t even believe I had ocd. She thought it was just cleaning and organizing and her reaction to some of my obsessions did not go very well so I’m glad she’s more understanding than she used to be
@Just Breathe ❤️ The only thing it means about you is that you’ve learned and are even better now. And yeah, my mom didn’t believe I had OCD either, but after sending her a lot of OCD related articles and things, she has been helping me through it as best she can. Sometimes parents don’t know that they’re being invalidating or sometimes unhelpful, probably because they don’t want to imagine their kids having a disorder
@OCDHaver I would never make the same mistakes again. I’m scared what if I’m a horrible monster because of it though? I never have wanted to be and I most definitely don’t want to be now. All because of a stupid fetish I once had. It’s so stupid. The things I’ve come across I don’t think would be considered ya know, the really bad thing I hate to even say it hopefully you know what I’m talking about. Literally everyone with pocd worst fear to come across. I don’t think it was considered that it just had to do with the fetish itself because it was a strange fetish that is really a normal everyday thing but made weird. I don’t know how else to explain it. It freaks me out because my mind keeps trying to tell me that I did it because of the certain things I’ve come across which I NEVER intentionally looked up. You would look up the fetish itself and then there it was sometimes. I was just scrolling through and it happened to be there on the ifunny app which never had anything really bad anyways it was mostly for memes and stuff like that. It wasn’t even sexual if that makes sense? But because masturbation had apart of it, it makes me 100 percent more worse. I hope you know what I’m getting at. Please don’t judge or anything. I really am a good hearted person with good intentions I was just so young and stupid. I would never make the same mistakes again.
@Just Breathe ❤️ Don’t ever worry about me judging you, I totally get you. And I under for sure, a couple of days ago I saw a couple of YouTube thumbnails of supposed leaks of a young celebrity girl, she’s 17 and might’ve been younger in the leaks, it didn’t show anything super serious, but it was still really gross and I hated it, I had to call the suicide prevention because of it, but I went back a couple of days later to report the videos, you can imagine how terrible that was for my POCD. It was horrifying, but don’t worry, people, especially teens or just young people might see weird stuff or things like that, it’s just being human. I’ve watched some really weird and gross things back when I was younger that makes me struggle a lot. I hope I don’t ever come off judgmental, just know this is a safe space for people to talk and to work through OCD together!💜
@OCDHaver I can imagine how hard that must of been with pocd. I think now that im older I just feel so gross about the things I’ve come across but it wasn’t sexual stuff at all. It was all because of a fetish I had but it wasn’t the person in the video, meme gif or whatever or whoever it was just the fetish concept itself that I was into. Unfortunately at the time I didn’t know that because it was a stupid tickling fetish and unfortunately certain things come up when it comes to that stuff but it was just about adult stuff for me then but it just so happened a couple times things could come up in that category for the fetish and I didn’t even realize it could of been wrong. Never even crossed my mind at the time and im kicking myself for being so stupid. I don’t remember how long ago it was. I was either still in highschhool or just got out of high school and that was 4 almost 5 years ago. Why can’t I just let it go? My ocd keeps telling me im some horrible person that needs to be locked up and I literally want to have a panic attack. This is not the life I wanted for myself. I just want to be free
@Just Breathe ❤️ Just remember it’s not the event, it’s the OCD. You’re definitely not alone, we’ll all make it out of this one day, hopefully that day is sooner rather than later 🤞
@OCDHaver I’m so so sorry for over sharing I shouldn’t have done it. I don’t want anyone to think I’m a monster 💔
@Just Breathe ❤️ Pleeease don’t think like that, you haven’t over shared, you’re okay, you’re not a monster at all, you’re a caring person who wishes the best for others
@OCDHaver Thank you I appreciate that
Ive done a lot of fucked up shit in my youth. I learned not to say regret cause everything is a lesson. I just try and move forward bc that person in that exact moment isn’t me now. We made mistakes and we are gonna make plenty more. The sooner we accept that past is gone its gonna be alright. Humans arent meant to be perfect but we only got so much time here on earth id much rather live happy now than dwell on shit i cant change ever
Very true. It’s just hard to forgive myself
I’m in the same boat as well... I let go of my past mistakes and it makes me think I’m what I fear because I let go... 😞😞 plus my HOCD is triggering me with things that shouldn’t trigger me, then triggering me even more by making me think I’m in denial because I got triggered by that thing in the first place...
Oh I completely understand. Pocd is my main theme but I also struggle with hocd, fearing being bi or a lesbian which I don’t judge with other people I’m not homophobic at all it’s just not what I want for myself. And it also gets twisted with pocd and even my religion so it’s rough. Just know you are not alone
@Just Breathe ❤️ I saw a post from someone who said that bisexual people can’t get HOCD and I got triggered... now I’m triggered because it’s making me think I’m bisexual from gettting triggered by the post when I don’t ever wanna be bisexual in any way... 😭😭😭 I don’t ever wanna be bisexual in any way... it’s making me feel like I’m not anxious of it when I dont ever wanna be bisexual in any way... 😭😭😭
@POCD/RealEventOCD I totally get it. I don’t want to be bi either. I get triggered sometimes too but does that make me bi? No. You can look at someone’s features or think someone is nice looking it doesn’t make you bi or gay it just means you think that person looks nice. But unfortunately that’s when ocd buts in and is like hey because you thought that, that means your attracted to men or in my case women. But ocd attacks what you fear and feeds off that. You have to accept the uncertainty and eventually the fear won’t be there. You have to retrain your brain to not see any danger because when you react a certain way or give it power, it’s going to continue to try and convince you and have power over you. Say “maybe I am bi, maybe I’m not” and move on. When you have an intrusive thought about a guy or a friend or whoever, say “yeah his shirt does look nice on him” and your brain is gonna be like whoa why did you just say that you’re supposed to be scared and eventually it will get the message and you will eventually feel more relief. Ocd is rough but know you are most definitely not alone and we are here for you. Just gotta take it one day at a time. Hope this helps!
@Just Breathe ❤️ I remember watching y*oi h*ntai (anime gay porn) a couple times when I was 14.. and I didn't know what it was at the time... then I was manipulated into experimenting with a friend.. he said it wasn't a homosexual act... and now it's making me think I've repressed my sexuality all this time due to trauma when I just don't ever wanna be homosexual or bisexual... I’m so scared and anxious... please help me... I don’t ever wanna be homosexual or bisexual at all 😭😭😭
@Just Breathe ❤️ I hope you can help me... 😞😞😞
Jesus Christ You are describing me, even the lecture from mom, thank you for sharing and I’m sorry for us..
My mom is slowly starting to become more helpful about it but her approach on ocd and the way ocd should be approached are totally different. In the beginning she didn’t even believe I had ocd so I’m glad she’s more understanding I guess. I’m tired of her saying “Just stop obsessing” not quite the right thing to say to someone struggling with ocd
Erp erp erp!!
@Newbaby2020$ I swear I commented back but my comment is gone and I don’t see anything else.
Hi there! Does anyone else experience real event OCD? My days lately are filled with (sometimes) crippling guilt and shame over real things that have happened in the past. These are all things that are relatively minor in the grand scheme of things. I’ve talked to friends/family/therapists about them and I’m reassured they aren’t “that bad” but my mind can’t seem to let them go. Anyone else dealing with this? Any tips for forward progress? Much love to you all. ❤️
Does anyone else with real event ocd find it pops up every few months and gets worse, then better? Like for me I'd try to repress it so I wouldn't feel anything about the subject, then months later BAM I feel such intense guilt and disgust with myself that I'm back to square one. I just wish I knew how to move on from this feeling and experience, but how can I, when I feel like a monster over something I'd done 8 years ago? Will I ever move on?
How can I accept uncertainty about a real event that my ocd is latching onto (past mistake)? How can I do erp for it and does anyone have any tips that could possibly help me out? It’s about a mistake I made a long time ago, I think a few years ago, that is haunting me and I feel like it’s so bad that no one could possibly understand and there’s no way I could get better. If anyone has overcome this, do you have any advice that I could use to possibly heal from this or maybe learn something from it? I would truly appreciate it
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