Hi, I'm feeling kinda lost with my false memory. I guessed that's kind of the whole deal about it hahahah. But i would really appreciate knowing some of the symptoms if anyone wanna share. I'm aware it's different for everyone but just to give me so clarity in the subject. Mine for example its connected with a real event, but there's a part of the "memory" that i don't remember, so my ocd made me ruminate for like 2 years now, about what happened in those minutes that i don't remember (obviously the major fear its harming o raping someone)

Brian K.

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 3y

Hi Nothingtosay, my false memories are mostly tied to real events, but sometimes they may of an event that I’m not really sure if it truly happened or not. The ones tied to real events, have been either where I’m not exactly sure of the details, outcomes, individuals involved, etc…but I pretty much know the overall gist, or like you said it may be that there’s a hazy or missing part of the memory. The latter are usually the worst for me, because my mind can come up with some doozies and I have no foundation to keep it grounded. I have found that with either case for me, real or possibly never happened at all event, that the more I think about or try to revisit the event, the more distorted and foggy it becomes as my OCD keeps adding more and more lenses of doubt over the original memory. The best way I deal with it is ERP and remembering that no amount of dwelling on these events will change them, whether they happened or not, and continue to dwell only feeds the OCD bully the doubt it wants. Try to hang in there, stay strong and best wishes.

elkis503

Date posted: 3y

Physical symptoms or mental symptoms?

Nothingtosay

Date posted: 3y

Mental symptoms

elkis503

Date posted: 3y

@Nothingtosay My major fear is inflicting harm on my mother. I love her so it's pretty sad to think I could harm her. It makes me cry over and over again. My head hurts, it's like a worm moving all over my brain. Today for example my anxiety has decreased a lot using a little bit of mindfulness.

Wes8

Date posted: 3y

When I have dealt with fears of false memory, its when I imagine a very distressing scenario of something bad I may have done. I then get confused over whether I just made the bad memory up or if it's actually real and I'd just been ignoring it. It wouldn't make much sense for me to act in a way that would really go against my values, but I still worry that I may have done the bad actions. It's all kind of confusing really. To get over it I try to not excessively ruminate over the question, and just go with the memory that I actually believe is real rather than the one I'm afraid is real.

elkis503

Date posted: 3y

It's really sad. When I finally ignore the thoughts my OCD is sneaky and tells me: "so you're ok thinking that? You're evil."

Wes8

Date posted: 3y

@elkis503 - I can feel gulity too when I trying to avoid compulsions. It feels like I'm ignoring something that I shouldn't be avoiding.

elkis503

Date posted: 3y

@Wes8 Any tips that worked for you?

Wes8

Date posted: 3y

@elkis503 - I resending my reply, didn't work right the first time: Hmm....over time many of my specific false memory fears decreased in intensity, which I'm sure was due to the fact that I tried to not interact with the thoughts with rumination or mental checking. I'm affected by a couple different subtypes of ocd, but they all are usually involved with mental ocd compulsions. Once I figured out I had ocd and learned about erp, I tried to stop ruminating with any of my ocd fears. I still definitely fall in some of the compulsive behavior but others have gotten easier to resist over time. So yeah, my tip would be to use erp strategies like resisting rumination. It's hard, but it does help.

anthonycaronna

Date posted: 25w

False memory

Has false memory OCD affected you so badly that you feel that a lot of your memories period are unclear, vague, fuzzy and can’t recall correctly?

LillyX

Date posted: 22w

Pocd & alcohol & false memory.

First I must say I love children and harming one sickens me. So if you don’t understand pocd please don’t commment. Ive only ever been drunk around children once at a house party , my ocd then convinced me I could’ve assaulted them the next morning as my memory was patchy…I haven’t let this go for YEARS. I didn’t even know what I did? 6 years later I have this whole story, based off an intrusive image I had but still don’t really know what I did? Every waking day of my life I’m trying to figure this out but I’m getting more and more confused. I’ve found clues, coincidences , things I believe could be evidence but isn’t really? I’m mixing in reality and false images….My therapists (I’ve had 3) all say this is false memory ocd? But mine feels different? Mine feels worse? Anyway I need a break.

4747get

Date posted: 21w

Hello. I’m new here.

I experience crippling, debilitating false memory OCD. It started with a “what if” thought 6 days ago and has spiraled into a never ending loop. My mind is telling me that “maybe you did this terrible, awful, unforgivable thing years ago and you don’t remember it and it’s only a matter of time before it catches up to you and your life is over” I’m really needing some coping mechanisms and support. I’m really scared and my body is exhausted. I just want it to stop. It is full panic attack all day, every day. Please if anyone can relate or help me.

False Memory OCD

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