- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Oh yeah all time if want to talk just lmk because I’m going thru same thing
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you, it’s just that mine revolves around a lot of sexual things because I was using dating apps and sending a lot of explicit images and receiving them, nothing ever got physical, but after reading an experience someone had on dating apps, about someone lying about their age and actually being a lot younger, I started to question the people I’ve messaged and I’ve been panicking. Even though I was almost always messaging people A LOT older than me, there’s still a handful of people my age I talked to and I get really scared that “what if they lied to me”. I would never knowingly ever do that, I’m just terrified. Like I felt a lot of shame from those apps because I was allowing people to use me and say whatever they wanted to, but idk, it’s all really scary, I’ve stopped using them for months, but it’s still really scary
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 3y
Me too, I have a quiz today that I haven’t studied for in math, a discussion post to answer about a book I haven’t really read and some other stuff. I’m just glad this semester is almost over and I could take a break
- Date posted
- 3y
The uncertainty is so uncomfortable, I can relate in a strong way. My therapist has me practicing reminding myself that I am imperfect. Definitely easier said than done.
- Date posted
- 3y
Something I try to think of to calm myself down is to repeat to myself, "If you are questioning if something happened, the odds are that the thing you are worried about did not happen". So even if there is still doubt making you anxious, remembering events that you know FOR SURE did happen and comparing them to what you are not sure about can help reassure yourself that the false memory did not occur.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ll try this, it’s just that a lot of my false memory is tied to real events and some other false memory is just not true. But I’ll try this, my friend just told me to trust myself and that I would never do what my mind is telling me.
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi OCDHaver, sorry to hear you were having a rough night. Hope you are doing much better today. Yup, real event and false memories stink, no doubt about it…ok well OCD wants us to have ALL doubt about it, but you know what I meant. In regards specifically to your worries about the dating apps and people lying about their ages, you did not actively try to seek out anyone younger, you said you looked for those around your same age and older. Even if someone did lie to you, you are not responsible for their actions. Try to forgive yourself for using those apps, that was in the past and being ashamed and revisiting those moments will not change them, it’ll only bring you anxiety and more doubt about what did or did not happen. We all have done things we regret or are ashamed of, whether it’s years past, or last week, what matters is how we learn from those mistakes and who would choose to be after we pick ourselves up from those mistakes. I also have real event false memories and not sure if they really happened false memories, and sometimes they can be difficult to sort out between them. The more I go back and revisit them, the more warped and distorted they become, like another lens of doubt is applied on top of them and I can make out even less of the true picture underneath. You know who you are and the fact that you are worried about being a bad person because of the what if doubts, means you are not one. You are not your intrusive thoughts or your false memories. I know it seems like a cop-out, but you have to forgive yourself both in the past and now, and try to walk away from the bad memory that may or may not have happened and move forward with your life. No matter what did or did not happen in your false memories, try to let them go, whatever answer you give your OCD to the what if questions, it’ll never be satisfied so try not to give it one at all. Best wishes and stay strong.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you, I just regret doing a lot of those things. I did a lot of gross things for old men, I don’t know why I did it, it’s so freaking disgusting and I’m ashamed, I was in a really bad place and maybe was looking for validation or just something idk, but I try to remind myself that’s not who I am and would never knowingly do ANYTHING like that, thank you for your reply. My OCD really likes lying to me, but I know I can’t let it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Does anyone else’s false memory intrusive thoughts of what could have happened feel very, very real?
- Date posted
- 22w
So. I was in a traumatic relationship. for a long time. it was filled with gaslighting, manipulation, abuse, cheating ect. I would OBSESS over finding out where they were, what they were doing, who they were talking too. but I couldn’t leave. I tried so hard but I never could. they would call me names, physically hurt me, throw things, break things. because I would question them all the time. but I just couldn’t leave. no matter what I knew. they would manipulate me. I fell for their childhood trauma. it’s like I lost all logic. but I also feel like I have a pretty good memory with memories. not all the way, but remembering a lot of the traumatic things. especially now that I’m no longer with them. I keep remembering things that’s happened. even from my childhood. one time way before I even started dating this person, I had an intrusive thought about a friend of mine. that was with me. and I freaked out. I thought I had acted on the intrusive thought the next day. I asked my friend for confirmation but they said nothing happened. but the memories about it feel SO REAL. so VIVID. but they swore that nothing happened and they had no idea what I was talking about. I’ve struggled with intrusive thoughts for my whole life. so fast forward to now, that ‘false memory’ from my friend randomly popped up and I started obsessing about it, and my childhood ‘memories’ that have popped up. and then I was reading an article of someone doing something horrible, and then it sounded ‘familiar’ and so then I’ve created this whole memory of me doing something similar to the article involving my partner doing it also. the memory keeps adding new things and conversations around it. when it involves an actual real memory. but it’s like it’s been twisted from what I remembered before. I also suffer from bad anxiety. I’ve stalked pictures. my search history to figure out what I was doing that say when the real event happened. and I’ve found some things but I can’t look through my texts because I got a new phone. it has been hounding me for months. MONTHS. trying to figure out if this new ‘memory’ is real or not. if it’s been fabricated by an intrusive thought from reading the article and thinking ‘what if’ or if it actually happened and because I’m no longer in this relationship it’s a ‘repressed memory’ but the thing is I have horrible horrible anxiety and I don’t think I could have gone this long knowingly that that happened without remembering it until now. because I remember a lot of the horrible things that they did. this ‘memory’ is fuzzy, but it brings me horrible anxiety when I think of it, like I feel like it happened. but I also feel like it didn’t happen. because I know I would never do anything like that. but WHAT IF I DID, because I was manipulated. idk. is this a false memory. I really need help. because it’s been debilitating. that relationship was really traumatic. and I got manipulated into a lot of things. but I wouldn’t have just went forward knowing that that happened??? there’s no way I could have just forgotten it. because before when I would think about that night it was different, until now. but what if I just made myself forget what truly happened?? I’m a pretty self aware individual, but somehow that relationship really REALLY put me into a trance somehow where I allowed things that I have no idea how I would even allow because before I met that person I would have never allowed someone to cheat on my constantly or talk to me the way they did. or allow abuse. like I don’t understand it.
- Date posted
- 15w
I have had the same false memory/instrusive image of me doing something horrible to someone when I was 12 and they were younger. It is a memory based on a real event. I truly don’t know if it’s real or not but obviously, the more I think about it the more I think it’s true. This has led my mind to become slightly paranoid. I worry that if this horrible image in my head is true then one day the person I might have hurt will come and k*ll me. I’m really scared I feel like I won’t feel better as long as this “memory” is in my head. Does anyone have advice?
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