OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Gabe445Gabe445
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Oh yeah all time if want to talk just lmk because I’m going thru same thing
OCDHaver OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you, it’s just that mine revolves around a lot of sexual things because I was using dating apps and sending a lot of explicit images and receiving them, nothing ever got physical, but after reading an experience someone had on dating apps, about someone lying about their age and actually being a lot younger, I started to question the people I’ve messaged and I’ve been panicking. Even though I was almost always messaging people A LOT older than me, there’s still a handful of people my age I talked to and I get really scared that “what if they lied to me”. I would never knowingly ever do that, I’m just terrified. Like I felt a lot of shame from those apps because I was allowing people to use me and say whatever they wanted to, but idk, it’s all really scary, I’ve stopped using them for months, but it’s still really scary
[Deleted][Deleted]
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Deleted reply.
OCDHaver OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Me too, I have a quiz today that I haven’t studied for in math, a discussion post to answer about a book I haven’t really read and some other stuff. I’m just glad this semester is almost over and I could take a break
AMMcKAMMcK
- Date posted
- 3y ago
The uncertainty is so uncomfortable, I can relate in a strong way. My therapist has me practicing reminding myself that I am imperfect. Definitely easier said than done.
veeviridianveeviridian
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Something I try to think of to calm myself down is to repeat to myself, "If you are questioning if something happened, the odds are that the thing you are worried about did not happen". So even if there is still doubt making you anxious, remembering events that you know FOR SURE did happen and comparing them to what you are not sure about can help reassure yourself that the false memory did not occur.
OCDHaver OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’ll try this, it’s just that a lot of my false memory is tied to real events and some other false memory is just not true. But I’ll try this, my friend just told me to trust myself and that I would never do what my mind is telling me.
Brian K.Brian K.
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hi OCDHaver, sorry to hear you were having a rough night. Hope you are doing much better today. Yup, real event and false memories stink, no doubt about it…ok well OCD wants us to have ALL doubt about it, but you know what I meant. In regards specifically to your worries about the dating apps and people lying about their ages, you did not actively try to seek out anyone younger, you said you looked for those around your same age and older. Even if someone did lie to you, you are not responsible for their actions. Try to forgive yourself for using those apps, that was in the past and being ashamed and revisiting those moments will not change them, it’ll only bring you anxiety and more doubt about what did or did not happen. We all have done things we regret or are ashamed of, whether it’s years past, or last week, what matters is how we learn from those mistakes and who would choose to be after we pick ourselves up from those mistakes. I also have real event false memories and not sure if they really happened false memories, and sometimes they can be difficult to sort out between them. The more I go back and revisit them, the more warped and distorted they become, like another lens of doubt is applied on top of them and I can make out even less of the true picture underneath. You know who you are and the fact that you are worried about being a bad person because of the what if doubts, means you are not one. You are not your intrusive thoughts or your false memories. I know it seems like a cop-out, but you have to forgive yourself both in the past and now, and try to walk away from the bad memory that may or may not have happened and move forward with your life. No matter what did or did not happen in your false memories, try to let them go, whatever answer you give your OCD to the what if questions, it’ll never be satisfied so try not to give it one at all. Best wishes and stay strong.
OCDHaver OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you, I just regret doing a lot of those things. I did a lot of gross things for old men, I don’t know why I did it, it’s so freaking disgusting and I’m ashamed, I was in a really bad place and maybe was looking for validation or just something idk, but I try to remind myself that’s not who I am and would never knowingly do ANYTHING like that, thank you for your reply. My OCD really likes lying to me, but I know I can’t let it.
Related posts
carol.xxx
- Date posted
- 22w ago
Please reply Im terrified need you guys.
HARM OCD VENT. I feel Terrified. I am so scared that I am going to act on a terrible harm ocd intrusive thought on someone else. The idea, the sensations the urges terrify me because it feels so scarily real. I feel like im a horrible person - a danger and i’m so guilty for having intrusive thoughts. I hate knives, I avoid looking at them in real life, in the kitchen as i’m so terrified that i will do sone thing terrible. I get excited when my boyfriend cones round as i always think he knows about my thoughts so at least he would restrain me if i were to do anything bad. I just feel so scared so guilty. I have this horrible sensation of urge running through my body- currently im on the verge of tears- i feel lost. My ocd has even latched onto pumpkin carving - scared i will do something bad. Now my OCD is just being like “ maybe your avoiding is all fake and your trying to cover your a bad person” “ what if u actually want to “. “ I want to “ “ You arnt actually trying to hard from harmful objects “ its TERRIFYING. please may someone reply - I’m terrified right now its like an intrusive FEELING is in my body. Sorry guys. I NEED reassurance at this point, I don’t know what to do.
nae nae
- Date posted
- 14w ago
I'm sorry. Just need to vent. :(
This might contain triggering content, but I'm also wondering if others have dealt with this similar thought, and if so, how to deal with it? Overall, I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm able to eat again, which I hadn't been able to do because of how much anxiety I'd been experiencing. I'm spending time around loved ones and not just rotting in my room, and I've been able to wake up without immediately being bombarded by intrusive thoughts. When things first got really bad, I'd wake my mom up every night for reassurance, but I haven't done that in a while either. I'm really proud of myself, but there's still this nagging thought in my mind... While looking through others posts on here, hoping to find advice that'd fit my situation, I ended up making things worse. Someone mentioned how they had a fear that they'd purposely search for illegal content (related to POCD). I panicked, and "what ifs" flooded my thoughts. "What if the intrusive thoughts affect who I am as a person, and I do that?" I'm terrified that I'll search for those things, which I know means I wouldn't do it. But then, another person on here said they'd actually looked for those things, and that freaked me out even more. Does that mean it's possible for that to happen to me? I don't want to do that, but I keep having intrusive thoughts surrounding it. I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm just... stuck. I don't know what to do. I've spoken with other people who have the same fears, but how do I manage this? It's not something I've even thought about before seeing those posts. I've been practicing accepting the uncertainty, but I'm really struggling with this one. I hate this. This morning, I woke up, and the intrusive thoughts were back. It's just disheartening.
carol.xxx
- Date posted
- 13w ago
flare up please respond
Hey guys, I am having the worst HARM OCD episode I have had in a while. I am having disgusting, awful intrusive thoughts about harming others. It feels so real. It feels as if I am about to get up and just do it. The worst bit about it all Is I know I feel distressed and panicked. But where the thoughts are actually happening ( in my head) doesnt feel this feeling. This is making it feel worse as it really does feel like Im just going to do it. I am crying my eyes out because I know im petrified and dont want to hurt anyone im so scared. I have this terrible intrusive feeling in my that feels like its justifying the thoughts. Please can someone talk as I am scared Im crying I dont want know what to do I want this feeling gone I am so scared. I tell myself Id kill myself before hurting anyone else, but would i ? What if I actually do want to kill Please respond Im so scared
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond