- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Oh yeah all time if want to talk just lmk because I’m going thru same thing
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you, it’s just that mine revolves around a lot of sexual things because I was using dating apps and sending a lot of explicit images and receiving them, nothing ever got physical, but after reading an experience someone had on dating apps, about someone lying about their age and actually being a lot younger, I started to question the people I’ve messaged and I’ve been panicking. Even though I was almost always messaging people A LOT older than me, there’s still a handful of people my age I talked to and I get really scared that “what if they lied to me”. I would never knowingly ever do that, I’m just terrified. Like I felt a lot of shame from those apps because I was allowing people to use me and say whatever they wanted to, but idk, it’s all really scary, I’ve stopped using them for months, but it’s still really scary
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 3y
Me too, I have a quiz today that I haven’t studied for in math, a discussion post to answer about a book I haven’t really read and some other stuff. I’m just glad this semester is almost over and I could take a break
- Date posted
- 3y
The uncertainty is so uncomfortable, I can relate in a strong way. My therapist has me practicing reminding myself that I am imperfect. Definitely easier said than done.
- Date posted
- 3y
Something I try to think of to calm myself down is to repeat to myself, "If you are questioning if something happened, the odds are that the thing you are worried about did not happen". So even if there is still doubt making you anxious, remembering events that you know FOR SURE did happen and comparing them to what you are not sure about can help reassure yourself that the false memory did not occur.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ll try this, it’s just that a lot of my false memory is tied to real events and some other false memory is just not true. But I’ll try this, my friend just told me to trust myself and that I would never do what my mind is telling me.
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi OCDHaver, sorry to hear you were having a rough night. Hope you are doing much better today. Yup, real event and false memories stink, no doubt about it…ok well OCD wants us to have ALL doubt about it, but you know what I meant. In regards specifically to your worries about the dating apps and people lying about their ages, you did not actively try to seek out anyone younger, you said you looked for those around your same age and older. Even if someone did lie to you, you are not responsible for their actions. Try to forgive yourself for using those apps, that was in the past and being ashamed and revisiting those moments will not change them, it’ll only bring you anxiety and more doubt about what did or did not happen. We all have done things we regret or are ashamed of, whether it’s years past, or last week, what matters is how we learn from those mistakes and who would choose to be after we pick ourselves up from those mistakes. I also have real event false memories and not sure if they really happened false memories, and sometimes they can be difficult to sort out between them. The more I go back and revisit them, the more warped and distorted they become, like another lens of doubt is applied on top of them and I can make out even less of the true picture underneath. You know who you are and the fact that you are worried about being a bad person because of the what if doubts, means you are not one. You are not your intrusive thoughts or your false memories. I know it seems like a cop-out, but you have to forgive yourself both in the past and now, and try to walk away from the bad memory that may or may not have happened and move forward with your life. No matter what did or did not happen in your false memories, try to let them go, whatever answer you give your OCD to the what if questions, it’ll never be satisfied so try not to give it one at all. Best wishes and stay strong.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you, I just regret doing a lot of those things. I did a lot of gross things for old men, I don’t know why I did it, it’s so freaking disgusting and I’m ashamed, I was in a really bad place and maybe was looking for validation or just something idk, but I try to remind myself that’s not who I am and would never knowingly do ANYTHING like that, thank you for your reply. My OCD really likes lying to me, but I know I can’t let it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w
Does anyone else’s false memory intrusive thoughts of what could have happened feel very, very real?
- Date posted
- 14w
This situation just happened and I can definitely remember how it went but my brain is telling me otherwise and I know you guys said to sit with the uncertainty but what if the intrusive thought is so bad like disgusting, I can’t sit with that. Maybe it’s false memory but this just happened. I don’t even know how to live with this
- Date posted
- 11w
Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT
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