Oh yeah all time if want to talk just lmk because I’m going thru same thing
Thank you, it’s just that mine revolves around a lot of sexual things because I was using dating apps and sending a lot of explicit images and receiving them, nothing ever got physical, but after reading an experience someone had on dating apps, about someone lying about their age and actually being a lot younger, I started to question the people I’ve messaged and I’ve been panicking. Even though I was almost always messaging people A LOT older than me, there’s still a handful of people my age I talked to and I get really scared that “what if they lied to me”. I would never knowingly ever do that, I’m just terrified. Like I felt a lot of shame from those apps because I was allowing people to use me and say whatever they wanted to, but idk, it’s all really scary, I’ve stopped using them for months, but it’s still really scary
The uncertainty is so uncomfortable, I can relate in a strong way. My therapist has me practicing reminding myself that I am imperfect. Definitely easier said than done.
Something I try to think of to calm myself down is to repeat to myself, "If you are questioning if something happened, the odds are that the thing you are worried about did not happen". So even if there is still doubt making you anxious, remembering events that you know FOR SURE did happen and comparing them to what you are not sure about can help reassure yourself that the false memory did not occur.
I’ll try this, it’s just that a lot of my false memory is tied to real events and some other false memory is just not true. But I’ll try this, my friend just told me to trust myself and that I would never do what my mind is telling me.
Hi OCDHaver, sorry to hear you were having a rough night. Hope you are doing much better today. Yup, real event and false memories stink, no doubt about it…ok well OCD wants us to have ALL doubt about it, but you know what I meant. In regards specifically to your worries about the dating apps and people lying about their ages, you did not actively try to seek out anyone younger, you said you looked for those around your same age and older. Even if someone did lie to you, you are not responsible for their actions. Try to forgive yourself for using those apps, that was in the past and being ashamed and revisiting those moments will not change them, it’ll only bring you anxiety and more doubt about what did or did not happen. We all have done things we regret or are ashamed of, whether it’s years past, or last week, what matters is how we learn from those mistakes and who would choose to be after we pick ourselves up from those mistakes. I also have real event false memories and not sure if they really happened false memories, and sometimes they can be difficult to sort out between them. The more I go back and revisit them, the more warped and distorted they become, like another lens of doubt is applied on top of them and I can make out even less of the true picture underneath. You know who you are and the fact that you are worried about being a bad person because of the what if doubts, means you are not one. You are not your intrusive thoughts or your false memories. I know it seems like a cop-out, but you have to forgive yourself both in the past and now, and try to walk away from the bad memory that may or may not have happened and move forward with your life. No matter what did or did not happen in your false memories, try to let them go, whatever answer you give your OCD to the what if questions, it’ll never be satisfied so try not to give it one at all. Best wishes and stay strong.
Thank you, I just regret doing a lot of those things. I did a lot of gross things for old men, I don’t know why I did it, it’s so freaking disgusting and I’m ashamed, I was in a really bad place and maybe was looking for validation or just something idk, but I try to remind myself that’s not who I am and would never knowingly do ANYTHING like that, thank you for your reply. My OCD really likes lying to me, but I know I can’t let it.