OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Gabe445Gabe445
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Oh yeah all time if want to talk just lmk because I’m going thru same thing
OCDHaver OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you, it’s just that mine revolves around a lot of sexual things because I was using dating apps and sending a lot of explicit images and receiving them, nothing ever got physical, but after reading an experience someone had on dating apps, about someone lying about their age and actually being a lot younger, I started to question the people I’ve messaged and I’ve been panicking. Even though I was almost always messaging people A LOT older than me, there’s still a handful of people my age I talked to and I get really scared that “what if they lied to me”. I would never knowingly ever do that, I’m just terrified. Like I felt a lot of shame from those apps because I was allowing people to use me and say whatever they wanted to, but idk, it’s all really scary, I’ve stopped using them for months, but it’s still really scary
AMMcKAMMcK
- Date posted
- 3y ago
The uncertainty is so uncomfortable, I can relate in a strong way. My therapist has me practicing reminding myself that I am imperfect. Definitely easier said than done.
veeviridianveeviridian
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Something I try to think of to calm myself down is to repeat to myself, "If you are questioning if something happened, the odds are that the thing you are worried about did not happen". So even if there is still doubt making you anxious, remembering events that you know FOR SURE did happen and comparing them to what you are not sure about can help reassure yourself that the false memory did not occur.
OCDHaver OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’ll try this, it’s just that a lot of my false memory is tied to real events and some other false memory is just not true. But I’ll try this, my friend just told me to trust myself and that I would never do what my mind is telling me.
Brian K.Brian K.
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hi OCDHaver, sorry to hear you were having a rough night. Hope you are doing much better today. Yup, real event and false memories stink, no doubt about it…ok well OCD wants us to have ALL doubt about it, but you know what I meant. In regards specifically to your worries about the dating apps and people lying about their ages, you did not actively try to seek out anyone younger, you said you looked for those around your same age and older. Even if someone did lie to you, you are not responsible for their actions. Try to forgive yourself for using those apps, that was in the past and being ashamed and revisiting those moments will not change them, it’ll only bring you anxiety and more doubt about what did or did not happen. We all have done things we regret or are ashamed of, whether it’s years past, or last week, what matters is how we learn from those mistakes and who would choose to be after we pick ourselves up from those mistakes. I also have real event false memories and not sure if they really happened false memories, and sometimes they can be difficult to sort out between them. The more I go back and revisit them, the more warped and distorted they become, like another lens of doubt is applied on top of them and I can make out even less of the true picture underneath. You know who you are and the fact that you are worried about being a bad person because of the what if doubts, means you are not one. You are not your intrusive thoughts or your false memories. I know it seems like a cop-out, but you have to forgive yourself both in the past and now, and try to walk away from the bad memory that may or may not have happened and move forward with your life. No matter what did or did not happen in your false memories, try to let them go, whatever answer you give your OCD to the what if questions, it’ll never be satisfied so try not to give it one at all. Best wishes and stay strong.
OCDHaver OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you, I just regret doing a lot of those things. I did a lot of gross things for old men, I don’t know why I did it, it’s so freaking disgusting and I’m ashamed, I was in a really bad place and maybe was looking for validation or just something idk, but I try to remind myself that’s not who I am and would never knowingly do ANYTHING like that, thank you for your reply. My OCD really likes lying to me, but I know I can’t let it.
Related posts
niknicole
- Date posted
- 25w ago
._.
Everything feels so real. I think learning about non-offending pedophiles has really screwed with me. I feel like I’m not even doing compulsions anymore like I genuinely cannot remember if I do them or not and the groinal responses are messing with me. I keep having intrusive dreams and I’m in that half asleep state and I feel nothing after that or I feel weird like a good weird, I don’t know. It’s a really weird feeling when I get those thoughts but I don’t like them, I don’t think. All I know is, I keep seeking reassurance and I feel like I don’t have OCD because the way I feel, like the way I get worked up isn’t the same as others. Whenever I try to watch a show, like 9-1-1 or daily dose of sunshine, I feel like I’m watching something I shouldn’t be. Or if I’m just on my phone, I feel like something is going to happen. I feel red flags whenever I’m on my phone, like somehow cp will appear. I know that OCD is the doubting disorder but my god, this is just crazy. I feel like I’m going crazy. Everything is just nonstop, it’s so constant and I’m genuinely scared that I’ll do something when I get out of my room. I don’t know anymore, this whole OCD thing is just making me lose my mind.
leena445
- Date posted
- 24w ago
im so confused
im not diagnosed, but these past two days have been terrible. i constantly have this underlying feeling that i might do something that i think is gross and i feel like i can’t do anything on my own because otherwise i might do something wrong. like i feel like i constantly have to be in front of people so that i can make sure of my every action. this is so exhausting and I’m so confused. and like i keep getting terrible images and stuff replaying in my head. i also try to recall what happened but i feel like i have false event too. i used to have religious ocd and that eventually stopped completely, but now it feels like all my work getting over that was pointless. also like i feel like i might have contamination ocd but not the typical germ type. I just get terrible images and I can’t remember if those images are true or not even though they’re impossible and i feel terrible. I don’t know if i could ever get over this because even the thought of it is terrible.
Agent K
- Date posted
- 23w ago
Real Event Ocd
Hi there I talk about religion (but I'm not trying to force it down anyone's throat) So my main event (which is the one that truly bothers me) happened in 2015 when I was 14. I won't go into any details or anything. I will say that it got so bad once that I almost committed something detrimental to my health earlier this year. Not long after that I spoke to a doctor and basically confessed what's been happening to my brain and my mistakes, he mentioned things that really resonated with me, I'll paraphrase a bit: "Okay, so what you did was not good but it's not something to condemn yourself for. It falls into the grey area, you've apologized and have been forgiven (even though I apologized over text, which comes across cowardly)but it seems that you haven't forgiven yourself. There's a whole lot of difference between you at 14 and you at 23. Try to have some perspective." This really helped and it still does, but unfortunately ocd tries to find a way around this. I'll get a thought of "oh but you forgot to mention that other part of the event" and it magnifies it. Can anyone relate? I've done everything but fully move on because I sometimes feel like I don't deserve to move on. And I'm still worried over the future.
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