- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi! I have rocd, but I want to share this anyway! I'm not completely out of rocd; to be honest. But oh boy if it is SUPER BETTER NOW! I passed 2 months where I keep having thoughts, guilt, anxiety all over my head and me. I literally couldnt feel nothing else. Than I find out about rocd, & started to see a psychologist. Two more months passed, and they were very hard. But here I am now. I can feel everything again! I learned how to treat ocd doubts; they don't scare me anymore!! Sometimes I still struggle to recognise them, that's true! But I assure you, give yourself more time, keep trying, and you will see that things can get really better!! Everyone is different and everyone has their time. But don't lose hope!! I know you can learn to control all of this, it is possible and you will achieve that!!
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you <3
- Date posted
- 3y
You're not ruining anything. You have a condition that you never asked for and that us affecting you negatively. Your boyfriend deserves someone strong enough to battle their own brain and someone that cares enough about them to worry about them despite the mental struggle their partner is going through. That someone is you. You care about him to worry about him and how this is affecting him when he's not going through it directly unlike yourself. You're not a fraud, even though it may feel like it because ocd is a liar and cos it's a mental condition in your brain, it feels so real. I can't say if it will last forever, but if you hold on to how strong you are and that you never asked for ocd which is lying to you, it should help you keep your strength up :)
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for saying all these things.my ocd has been at an all time high lately and it has felt like I'm bottling it all up with no one to talk to about it, there's only so much I can tell my bf without confessing compulsively etc, so your comment just means a lot to me. <3
- Date posted
- 3y
It hasn’t been letting up for me since may of 2020... I just hope I have OCD... I don’t ever wanna be my intrusive thoughts...
- Date posted
- 3y
I understand how you feel. Have you tried erp?
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah, I did nocd several months ago and went through the whole program
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whatabtme Can you try erp again? You mention intrusive thoughts. I found this book helpful with regard to that. Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626254346/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_VTGZAVERHSXRHJ7RVF33?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
you for sure need to lean away from those compulsions! don't get trapped inside of them. ruminating will not rationalize the thoughts, it will only send you further down the rabbit hole. try to take a few extra minutes a day to prevent those ruminations. instead of rationalizing the anxiety, sit with it. learn to write down the one thing in these thoughts that bother you and say "ok this is it" and don't push yourself further for answers! let it go. you got this!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 20w
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
- Date posted
- 14w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
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