Any words of hope? My sexual orientation OCD has not let up for like a month straight. Every second of every day I am ruminating and thinking to myself I'm such a fraud, my boyfriend deserves better, I'm ruining everything :/ Makes me wanna cry but I have no tears just feel numb at this point. I honestly can't remember not feeling like this and I'm afraid it's gonna last forever.

Hi! I have rocd, but I want to share this anyway! I'm not completely out of rocd; to be honest. But oh boy if it is SUPER BETTER NOW! I passed 2 months where I keep having thoughts, guilt, anxiety all over my head and me. I literally couldnt feel nothing else. Than I find out about rocd, & started to see a psychologist. Two more months passed, and they were very hard. But here I am now. I can feel everything again! I learned how to treat ocd doubts; they don't scare me anymore!! Sometimes I still struggle to recognise them, that's true! But I assure you, give yourself more time, keep trying, and you will see that things can get really better!! Everyone is different and everyone has their time. But don't lose hope!! I know you can learn to control all of this, it is possible and you will achieve that!!

You're not ruining anything. You have a condition that you never asked for and that us affecting you negatively. Your boyfriend deserves someone strong enough to battle their own brain and someone that cares enough about them to worry about them despite the mental struggle their partner is going through. That someone is you. You care about him to worry about him and how this is affecting him when he's not going through it directly unlike yourself. You're not a fraud, even though it may feel like it because ocd is a liar and cos it's a mental condition in your brain, it feels so real. I can't say if it will last forever, but if you hold on to how strong you are and that you never asked for ocd which is lying to you, it should help you keep your strength up :)

It hasn’t been letting up for me since may of 2020... I just hope I have OCD... I don’t ever wanna be my intrusive thoughts...

I understand how you feel. Have you tried erp?

you for sure need to lean away from those compulsions! don't get trapped inside of them. ruminating will not rationalize the thoughts, it will only send you further down the rabbit hole. try to take a few extra minutes a day to prevent those ruminations. instead of rationalizing the anxiety, sit with it. learn to write down the one thing in these thoughts that bother you and say "ok this is it" and don't push yourself further for answers! let it go. you got this!