Lately I've been having intrusive dreams about telling my bf I don't love him and that I cheated on him (in the dream). One particular day I woke up crying and telling him I had to leave him in real life. I legit cried for hours telling him I had so many doubts and I could potentially cheat on him. I literally made him cry, but he still reassured me that this was just OCD. The rationality and strength of this man is impressive I can't believe he still wants me tbh, I feel so awful about it, but he's ok and supportive of me (which makes me feel even more guilty).
Oh my goodness that's awful I'm sorry that happened! I can relate with the same thing! I always dream about cheating on my boyfriend or him cheating on me, and I always compulsively text him about the dream. I've had ocd put him down so many times and I am so surprised he hasn't broken up with me yet, and still wants me. Guess we both found two golden people!!!
And he's always supportive and acceptive of me too which makes me guilty since sometimes I don't give the same to him and I regret so much of what I've said and done 🥺
@Animaniash Yes !!! So glad you got a good one too. Hope we both get in a better place soon to fully appreciate and love our partner :)))
@Aritreki Yes that's a great mindset!!! We will get there!!!
Wait a deam minute. Dreaming and feeling the urge to talk/break up with the partner because of that dream is also a rocd compulsion??? I always thought it was normal and part of my "strange personality"... Are you saying I can't fight anymore with my bf because he does something wrong in my dreams? :( I have rocd too! And I was writing about that but this comments genuinely "surprised" me! Yay! Now I have one more thing to not do!
The dream in itself is not a compulsion, it's more like I think about it so much during the day and try to repress it as much as possible that it also appears in my dream as "intrusive dreams". So it's literally just intrusive thoughts for 24h/h But as for confessing to partner, yea that's a compulsion lol, the guilt is so strong and confessing it at least gives us a sense of authenticity. One thing that is big about OCD is the fear of lying to your partner/yourself or being fake, so by confessing you seek reassurance, hence why it's a compulsion.
Yes it is a compulsion to confess! It's on repeat every day for me. I always have the urge to break up for NO REASON and it makes me feel bad. And I hate lying and feeling fake so I confess literally EVERYTHING to my bf
Anyway guys don't underestimate yourself!! Your partner are really lucky to have someone like you, that fight even against their own mind/ feelings to be happy togheter and to make things better!!
Hi Animaniash, most of my ROCD experiences have to do with obsessions about whether or not my partner really loves me/is using me (leading to tons of doubt, rumination and anxiety over meaningless or unrelated things) or if they misundertand/get mad over something I texted or said (again more rumination and an ungodly amount or checking and re-checking for responses on my phone and reading and rereading of texts/emails). Since my OCD has had me doubting myself and my worth since I was a kid, that made those experiences even harder to try to ignore and not dwell on endlessly. I have found that the level of my ROCD thoughts/obsessions seemed to vary quite a bit depending on who I was with. As harsh as this will sound, the one thought that seemed to help me overcome these obsessions the most was “so what if it’s true…so what if it turns out they don’t really love me…if that’s the case, it’s their loss. What will happen will happen, no matter if I worry about it or not. I know I did all I could and if it turns out that’s not good enough for them…oh well. I’ll be fine either way, always am. No point in feeding the OCD bully about this anymore.” Yeah, I know it may sound stupid, but it seemed to help me anyway. I too have had intrusive thoughts and dreams in the past, but since I started with my therapist and ERP, I acknowledge that I can’t choose my dreams anymore than I choose my intrusive thoughts. They don’t define who I am or how I feel they’re just a random roll of the dice from my OCD mind.