If the uncertainty leads me to accept the thing i am running away from how was that not true and if the uncertainty the may be or maybe not in the future gets me to do something i might be in denial of what then?!? This is a possibility and a big one cause if i would have been so sure if myself why would i even question in the first place…And with uncertainty how do i know anything for sure and people who don't know will say they are gender queer so how am i not that.….. ¡ have stopped feeling the anxiety and all these feel real and I don't even react to it cause i am tired and numb to them its like I don't know who i am anymore and everyone with soocd constantly says they know they are straight or whatever and i used to earlier and now I don't why dont i?! Why do i feel like thats a lie or could be a lie and my brain has confused my emotions and feelings to the point where nothing feels real anymore and i feel like an imposter and someone who doesn't know who she is and is suffering…… is this ocd doing this or my thoughts being real just me not realising? Is this ocd i am constantly trying to figure out if the thoughts are real or not and then i say if its real i type all this because i am scared and fear and in denial like where does this end?!

You hit the nail right on the head there

How long have you had HOCD?

@missbluesky I have had ocd 2 years now it sucks so bad even when I feel okay the thoughts are still there in the back of my head just want to be free from this

That’s exactly how I’m feeling but in my case, I’m trying to find the “certainty” that I’m not lesbian. And of course, since we have OCD, we’ll always try to find that “certainty” but our 🧠 will never be satisfied with those answers. I think acceptance of this subtype, is important for the healing process. I found from my therapist that I need to accept my subtypes in order to move on to recovery. Accepting does not mean you like it, it just mean you can allow it to be there. Often times I’m angry of why this happened to me, out of all subtypes, why this one? But ocd only latches on to what we care about, remember that. We have to rewire our brains & trust ourselves more. Build that confident of who we are and our choices in life. We know how we identify ourselves, it’s just these self doubts that haunt us. Like I used to say, “if you know, you know”. Your anxiety may have subsided because of habituation and/or you’re doing ERP. I’m not a therapist but it seems like you’re still obsessing over your sexual orientation. Accepting uncertainty is DIFFICULT because our identities are so important to us, but that is the only way we can end this vicious cycle and truly enjoy our day to day lives. I’m still learning how to slowly accept those uncertainties so I completely understand where you’re coming from. I wish you nothing but the best, stay strong ❤️‍🩹

@WhyMe? Idk i too think of stuff and the same sex thoughts feel so real especially the bi ones where you see a guy and notice and also a girl and you're like i noticed them the same way what does that mean and honestly that could mean so many things so idk what to even do or think of what if it means something i am not accepting what if i am stopping and not taking actions on my thoughts cause i am scared cause half of the time i think of that and usually ig people don't which makes me think there's is ocd and mine is denial like am i forcefully stopping myself from doing it do i want to do it will i enjoy it if i do then what does that say?!? Like what next all this was a lie?!? Is this ocd making me think this way or what?!? and just considering the possibility when people hate it what does that say what does that mean and why does it feel fake while writing all this whereas it should feel like a relive what do i do?

@Brave through Find a therapist & get help. NOCD has great therapist who specializes in OCD. It won’t hurt to get an assessment. Hoping the best for you!