- Username
- Brave through
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Continue to work and accept uncertainty. Easier said than done. I’ve been doing this for 4 months and the further you get with ERP, the more confused you will be. It’ll feel like denial and you’ll lose the attraction to whichever sex you were attracted to. I’m going thru a hard one today because all the questions that you asked, are all the questions and feelings I’m going through today. It’s fucken hard but try to always stand by your values. Try not to feed into that demon. I’m a strong believer that it’ll be more clear once we stop feeding the monster.
You hit the nail right on the head there
How long have you had HOCD?
@missbluesky I have had ocd 2 years now it sucks so bad even when I feel okay the thoughts are still there in the back of my head just want to be free from this
I feel that. Sometimes the anxiety isn’t even there, and sometimes I find myself trying to find the feeling of “certainty” that I’m not bi. Sometimes I also feel like this isn’t ocd and that it’s just my thoughts being real. It’s confusing. And sometimes I think to myself “why do I have to go through this, it is so hard” But accepting the uncertainty is important, hard, but important. I understand how you’re feeling I really do. We all will get through this!
That’s exactly how I’m feeling but in my case, I’m trying to find the “certainty” that I’m not lesbian. And of course, since we have OCD, we’ll always try to find that “certainty” but our 🧠 will never be satisfied with those answers. I think acceptance of this subtype, is important for the healing process. I found from my therapist that I need to accept my subtypes in order to move on to recovery. Accepting does not mean you like it, it just mean you can allow it to be there. Often times I’m angry of why this happened to me, out of all subtypes, why this one? But ocd only latches on to what we care about, remember that. We have to rewire our brains & trust ourselves more. Build that confident of who we are and our choices in life. We know how we identify ourselves, it’s just these self doubts that haunt us. Like I used to say, “if you know, you know”. Your anxiety may have subsided because of habituation and/or you’re doing ERP. I’m not a therapist but it seems like you’re still obsessing over your sexual orientation. Accepting uncertainty is DIFFICULT because our identities are so important to us, but that is the only way we can end this vicious cycle and truly enjoy our day to day lives. I’m still learning how to slowly accept those uncertainties so I completely understand where you’re coming from. I wish you nothing but the best, stay strong ❤️🩹
@WhyMe? Idk i too think of stuff and the same sex thoughts feel so real especially the bi ones where you see a guy and notice and also a girl and you're like i noticed them the same way what does that mean and honestly that could mean so many things so idk what to even do or think of what if it means something i am not accepting what if i am stopping and not taking actions on my thoughts cause i am scared cause half of the time i think of that and usually ig people don't which makes me think there's is ocd and mine is denial like am i forcefully stopping myself from doing it do i want to do it will i enjoy it if i do then what does that say?!? Like what next all this was a lie?!? Is this ocd making me think this way or what?!? and just considering the possibility when people hate it what does that say what does that mean and why does it feel fake while writing all this whereas it should feel like a relive what do i do?
@Brave through Find a therapist & get help. NOCD has great therapist who specializes in OCD. It won’t hurt to get an assessment. Hoping the best for you!
Aceppting uncertainty is not accepting that the thing may be true , it’s just not feeding your OCD
Amazing guys, I feel you
my ocd has been really convincing lately. it’s convincing me that i’m just questioning my sexuality and that i’m bi and just don’t know it yet. i can’t help but think “what if these thoughts and feelings are real” i’m so lost i just feel like all of this has changed who i was. the worst part is that i barely have a reaction to these thoughts so it’s hard for me to tell if it’s ocd or not. how do i know if it’s ocd or i’m just questioning my sexuality??
Okay so i have a lot to say and i know if even one of you reads this i wont feel alone… pls read if you can i would be grateful 1. So i have soocd and I don’t know if I believe it. Somedays i am good don’t feel like i have it at all and then there are days when i am miserable. 2. While i was with a friend recently she said in a very joking way that you have never really had a bf just accept it you’re a lesbian and that put me in a spot i smiles and took it as a joke but it got me thinking she could be right I haven’t liked a guy in so long what could that mean?!? I didn’t have a problem with her saying it and I don’t know what to think of it but with every thought after that i have gone back to this and thought what if this was right… 3. So people i see on the internet getting to know what they really were later in life what if that happens with me?!! What if I actually get whatever realisation it is later what would i do then and if i am thinking of this possibility then there might be some truth in it?!? For me to even think of it in the first place.. 4. I read a comment on this platform that with soocd you just never think of coming out and I didn’t too but then i had this anxiety strike when i felt like i was going to tell my mom or my friends about it but i felt like why would i ?!? Would i be lying if i do?!? What if i am not?!? It felt too real and is that some sign cause that’s opposite of what one with soocd would do… 5. A question which constantly is there is just cause we haven’t been put in a situation like that we don’t know it what if we are and we like it and then what?!? All of this would mean a lie… 6. Friends who are straight and have kissed the same sex feel no anxiety nothing are okay with it what if our anxiety with these thoughts means they actually are true cause why else would we be so bothered with them what could be the reason it could be true but just us being scared because people without this are easy going and which just like in a way proves that we are scared and that’s why we are so bothered…. 7. My past same sex childhood experiences haven’t been a help either what if i was always a bi and now just transforming into a like completely liking the same sex and why was that easy for me to write… what if i never liked guys and all that was fake… what am i supposed to do 8. Sometimes i feel i fake all of it like i saw a girl with a septum piercing and short hair and i was like looking at her and staring and idk if it was my soocd telling me she’s cute would be my type?!? But why would i even think that in the first place…. And then it was like i wanted it to be fake so i just kept reminding myself of thinking about it forcefully so its like soocd and not denial and why would i do that why did that feel so real and so fake at the same time.. its so messed up.. 9. A video on reel o saw of this girl in an all girls school and her parents sent her to stay away from boys but jokes on then cause she is not straight and i was like what if i was put in that position and there are people with soocd who think we never do that but then why do i think i would and would i be okay with it or is it my soocd making me feel so but it should make me feel the opposite.. like i should try to run away from it… 10. And like i said why would i keep noticing when it should be trigger and i should avoid it or switch it off like I don’t understand what am I supposed to to…even when i pray that i am over all of this i feel its always so fake do i even want it to be will I accept this in the near future what do i do… Lastly i just don’t know what to do or where to go from here i always feel like i am faking this and using soocd as a mode of escapism. Sometimes i think I don’t have it altogether cause the feeling of all these feelings being are so real and denial I don’t know what to trust..I don’t know if you guys will relate to me but if you do ig you’re not alone…
Basically. I’m scared that at some point I will feel no anxiety and ‘give in’ and accept it. I have a really hard time believing I have ocd (because I can’t get diagnosed because of my age) sometimes I feel like I do because I remember the days where I was crying on the floor with how real it felt and I DIDNT want it to be real. I worry that I am in denial and I’m just not accept it. Or that it’s suppressed. Or internalised homophobia. Anything really that means it’s all real. I have my moments where I feel normal again but they don’t last long. I wish I knew if it was hocd/ocd but then again I know I’d doubt it if I was told it was. But then again I feel like hearing a professional say ‘you have ocd’ would mean a lot to me. If anyone feels the same or similar I would love to know (btw reassurance very rarely helps me anymore. I just love knowing if I’m not alone and not going crazy) Maybe maybe not doesnt help. I always spiral more with that but I often use ‘I don’t need to know right now’ and that brings me some relief (not sure if it should but it does)
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