As someone with rocd is it normal to feel uncomfortable with your boyfriend talking to his ex/someone he had sex with? My boyfriend is extremely understanding and loyal but it still makes me uncomfortable that some of his best friends are people he had sex with. I'm not trying to seek reassurance I just genuinely don't know if this is my rocd talking or not you know??

Relationship OCD

anon818

Date posted: 3y

pretty sure that’s a concern any girl would have, ocd or not

anon818

Date posted: 3y

you should draw boundaries in the relarionship

dandelion2002

Date posted: 3y

I don't want to tell him that he can't talk to his friends or anything though yk :(? They helped him/still help him a lot with his mental health, they just happened to have sex in the past. I know their relationship isn't like that anymore but I can't stop thinking about it and imagining them together

Bookworm91

Date posted: 3y

@dandelion2002 Why not? You deserve to have your feelings considered. If it makes you uncomfortable tell him to try being friends with people he’s NOT intimate with

dandelion2002

Date posted: 3y

@Bookworm91 I should clarify he was intimate with them in the past, not during our relationship (although ocd is ofc trying to tell me different D: )

Bookworm91

Date posted: 3y

@dandelion2002 It doesn’t matter. It’s one thing to be civil or even friendly with ex’s. But to be best friends with someone you’ve had sex with is not a good idea. It’s the whole best friends thing that’s getting me. If he really cared he’d stop being that close with them

dandelion2002

Date posted: 3y

I feel like I should give a little more context into this situation. Idk if it would affect your opinions to say he's bi(I am too) and makes friends with girls much easier. It's also important to say that they were some of his best friends and main supporters during his first cancer diagnosis. He's now on his third diagnosis and I feel like the most awful person on the planet for having rocd while he's going through this. I don't want to tell him that he can't have support from people who help him so much while he's going through this

Bookworm91

Date posted: 3y

I guess you’re just a better person then me. I wouldn’t feel bad at all and I hate on those bitches with every fiber of my soul. Id refuse to be in the room with them and wait for them to leave before visiting. that would be the extent and even then I’d probably just be pissed that he’d need support from people he previously had sex with at that kind of level. More power to you. I couldn’t do it

anon818

Date posted: 3y

yes but still, any girl would feel wary about that. you shouldn’t feel weird for that making you uncomfortable.

raccs

Date posted: 3y

I have plenty of friends who are still friends or even roommates with people they used to sleep with or casually date, who now have new partners and no romantic feelings anymore for each other. i think it’s very possible for adults to be just friends, and I’ve always hated when people told me that my guy friends were secretly in love with me like ?? especially if ur partner is bi I don’t think it’s weird at all but I can understand why you would be nervous!

Leo <33

Date posted: 20w

Oh god I'd be very uncomfortable with that too..

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