- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much. You responding has helped me know I’m not the only one out there it means the world to me thank you
- Date posted
- 3y
I want you to get a good therapist. I suggest doing some research bc some therapists will list OCD on what they treat but don’t really specialize in it. I think my therapist is certified by IOCDF (or a NOCD therapist). Best wishes!
- Date posted
- 3y
@LisaP99 Thank you so much and yes you too!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tajmcd10 Hey, I keep thinking about your issues bc I relate to them closely. My main rocd compulsion is ruminating and secondly reassurance seeking and you’re doing a lot of both. I didn’t start having relief until I lessened how much I ruminate. Anyway I want to share a resource with you. https://theocdstories.com/ it’s a podcast, episode 252 and 285 is Dr Michael Greenberg. He has another episode 269 but 252 & 285 are a must. But he is so good at describing rumination, the effects and how to handle. He has a website too and he wrote some articles that are so good! It’s not a fix all but it’s very useful. Recovery is a journey, I piece together skills from my therapist and from whatever helpful resources.
- Date posted
- 3y
@LisaP99 Thank you thank you thank you! If you have any other tips or tricks I am so open to hearing about them
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tajmcd10 Ha I will! I definitely want to encourage you to seek a good ocd therapist though. I started treatment in August and it’s def a journey and u gotta keep ur mind open but as far as Dr Greenberg, he knows rumination! And some things he says you gotta take with a grain of salt. I read his article: rumination, the continuous loop and thought of you. It describes what we’re experiencing in our heads in a way I never heard of but totally made sense. Hope it helps. And pls don’t get discouraged in treatment if u do well for a while and then bomb. Treatment is an up and down process.
- Date posted
- 3y
I mean all 15 of your thoughts, I’ve been there. I often feel like a rabid dog bc it’s like I turn on him and he can see the rage in my eyes but he also sees the conflict I’m having in my mind.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m sorry. This sounds like a nightmare, like mental torture. My obsession is the same and my dad was unfaithful. The trauma he caused created my biggest fear. I think ERP will still help you greatly. I’ve experienced this instability you’re going through and it’s horrible! Basically with therapy, I think you could accept letting this go because I have a sense you really want to. Even though this is a huge pill to swallow, I find myself letting go of things I never thought I would, taking the risk and having peace. I know what you’re going through and I just want to say you’re so strong for battling this as long as you have.
- Date posted
- 3y
I so relate to your numbered thoughts. My ocd accuses me of being a stupid weak woman who lets her bf cheat on her but it’s not true. Getting triggered by anything that remotely reminds me of a detail of the situation… ugh it’s horrible
- Date posted
- 3y
I think at this point you may never know what the truth is, and there may be no real way to find out. If you believe your boyfriend to otherwise be kind, loyal, and make you feel good then maybe the past doesn’t matter. But you are not weak or stupid!! You are doing your best with the information you do have. But to heal from ocd you have to become ok with never fully knowing the truth. Good luck!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
He kissed a girl while we were unofficial but a day after he said I love you . I felt we were exclusive based off of things. He acted out of unofficial vs official. Thought because we were single it was ok and if he knew it would have hurt me he wouldn’t have did it he said it was silly meaningless kiss and he wanted nothing with this person. I know he’s telling the truth because he would have lied to me about it but he didn’t . Unfortunately I found out 7 months into the relationship plus he has “no type” and is attracted to women I never ever thought he would be and I think it’s really disgusting . Even in my last relationship I felt this way. So before enter ing this one I told myself no cheating or ones that like these women and here I am …. He didn’t “cheat” but it feels like it. I have been spinning and crying and anxious for over a year now. After I found out I would rotate between that , the women and a transparency thing for a whole year every single day. Asking friends for advice , talking to him , crying , texting all day, even googling . Now I started chat gpt for advice. Whenever I hear it’s ocd I feel relieved but don’t believe it and when I hear it’s wrong relationship I cry uncontrollably and don’t want to believe that either I left him 2 months ago but I’m still in the same position because I love him so much I know he’s a great guy , he tried so hard to make me feel comfortable and he loved me so much but I couldn’t stop spinning . I want to get ba k with him but just picture anxiety forever and questioning am I in love , am I settling , am I forcing this , is this ocd or wrong relationship , could I be happier elsewhere , I can’t see him without feeling anxiety or seeing the kiss but then i can’t picture myself ever loving someone again like him . Our love and connection was so strong . I feel in another relationship as soon as something happens I’m going to want to leave and truly regret leaving my ex . What do I do. I’m starting erp but it’s so confusing to me and I feel like it won’t help and I’m going to be stuck like this forever. I hate waking up everyday because I’m so sad and miserable. Please help me (edited)
- Date posted
- 23w
I don’t know where to begin, this is going to be very long. But whoever responds I appreciate you dearly. I’m 20 years old, I’ve dealt with a lot in my childhood with abandonment and insecurity issues from my family. Aswell of not having a role model of a healthy relationship shown to me as a child. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years, my first healthy relationship. Last year I discovered OCD (I am diagnosed but I ignored my mental health as a teenager like anybody would) I started to get these feelings that I don’t love my partner/he’s not attractive enough/ etc etc. I’ve discovered that it’s ROCD. I made threads on Reddit asking for advice googling for reassurance, all the things as one would do with ocd (as I’m doing now!) One day I woke up and that theme was gone, I felt normal in my relationship for about 4 months with no terrible thoughts. As of about 2-3 months ago, my theme switched. Now I have a fear he doesn’t love me, he’s cheating, he doesn’t want to marry me. It has utterly consumed me (just like my last theme!) I check his phone an unhealthy amount (guess what I never find anything!) He always lets me go through his phone, but as anyone would he gets annoyed and frustrated. I always am searching for signs if he’s acting weird, will get into arguments 24/7 because my brain keeps telling me he’s cheating, I get fake scenarios in my brain, hell I even bought Snapchat+ to stalk his snap score. But ever single time I find nothing. A lot of things trigger me and I over analyze everything, phone calls who his texting. When I do search his phone I check his EMAIL because of how paranoid I am. When I see things on social media about people cheating I SPIRALLLL But what really triggered me was this scenario, his family loves to joke around with me and mess with him at the same time, especially with our relationship, saying I have a leash on him etc etc making jokes (which I can take but when I’m in an ocd spiral and they have no idea something’s are triggering) anyways, we were out to lunch and his mother texts him “are u at some girls house” he told me straight away then responded “why would u say that” then she proceeded to say she’s messing around with him. And sent a picture of me and said I’m with Hailey at lunch, then they had a normal conversation after. Obviously this sent me into a spiral, it still bothers me. I was so upset and anxious, when we got back to his house I went through that man’s phone like it was my only job in the world. And I search EVERYTHING not one thing goes untouched. (I sound insane) anyways we went back to his place, then he called his mom to come in his room and asked why she said that, she felt guilty and said she was messing around she had her hands in her head (mind you she’s been drinking probably just messing around with him when she texted that) she told me not to worry ever about that kind of stuff because her son is not that type of man, she proceeded to leave the room then texted me about how sorry she was and didn’t mean to freak me out and felt like shit about it. Ever since then she’s been acting kind of weird towards me (not really) maybe she’s uncomfortable or there’s another women idk LOL. Anyways yea what the hell do I do I literally can’t function properly.
- Date posted
- 17w
My husband told me recently he was going to hang out with a local friend he often goes to see. It got very late and I heard nothing from him. Tried calling and texting. Stayed up all night thinking maybe he was dead or injured. Logged into our cell phone account to see if I could find any recent location and discovered he had talked to someone on the phone that night but he was like 2 hours away from home at that time. And also saw a phone number he was spending hours on the phone with every day. I had been confronting him about his secrecy prior to that and he kept telling me it was this friend or that friend, or he was just taking the dog on a long walk or having a fire out back. He finally called me back in the morning and I yelled at him. He told me he was randomly with two friends from longer ago and had gotten drunk and passed out, and hadn't told me about these plans because I had a heart surgery a few weeks prior and health concerns and he didn't want to stress me out. He told me the phone number was a girl that he related to on trauma factors and that he views like a little sister. He said he didn't tell me because he was caught up in his trauma spilling of events he didn't share with a single person since they occurred to him 35 years ago, due to feelings of shame and anger, and that he thought I would view it as emotional cheating. I told him it really could be viewed as emotional cheating and in principle, honesty shouldn't be dependent upon the outcome... lying isn't justified because I would be upset by the truth. Since then, he's been more open with me and tells me when that girl is calling, talks to me about their conversations, answers her calls when I'm present. I talked to him about boundaries and things I'm uncomfortable with or bothered by and he changes those things. Especially because I have trauma from an emotionally abusive ex, having him lie to me when I directly questioned him about what I was perceiving or experiencing and telling me those experiences weren't real, when they actually WERE real, has really messed me up. Now when he wants to hang out with a friend, I don't trust it. But I'm handling these feelings in destructive OCD ways. I spend literally the entire time he's gone thinking and thinking and thinking about what if he's lying or what he might be doing instead of what he said. I call and text him intermittently and feel like all of my obsessive thoughts are confirmed if he doesn't answer right away. I'm always checking the phone history. The driving toll history. Scrutinizing everything. I cannot get out of this mindset. It's like this horrible mixture of emotional flashbacks and OCD. I don't want to live like this. I want to work on my relationship in productive ways. I want to be able to use my own time while my husband is gone. Even if he lied to me and is somewhere other than he said, I don't want to lie in bed just thinking and thinking and thinking for entire days and nights. I'm not sure what I'm really asking here. This is just the only place where I feel like I can share this without people thinking "wow she's crazy".
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