- Username
- Tillyyyx
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I was dating a girl that was absolutely perfect for me and I let thoughts that “I wasn’t attracted enough to her” ruin our relationship because I was always checking to make sure I was attracted to her all of the time. She is an absolutely beautiful girl and I regret letting my ocd ruin something so very special, because our love was one of a kind. I don’t know if this is the “type” you are talking about, but regardless, I would suggest looking at these thoughts as OCD and just trying to stay present with him and enjoy the relationship you share. There is no “perfect” person that we like to shape in our head, but it sounds like you found the person that is right for you. OCD will try to dissect any part of the relationship or our significant other to make you feel like it’s not “perfect” and therefore isn’t right. I hope this helps and I hope you can stay present and enjoy your relationship with the person that makes you happy. Don’t let OCD take it from you, you deserve happiness.
Thankyou ! I’m sorry to hear that you had your relationship ruined by the ocd monster! And I blame ocd and also our society of throw away culture that doesn’t seem to value genuine connections -I’m sure social media and this way of thinking must have increased ROCD cases a lot ... anyway I agree with everything you say and thanks for you post it means a lot , I don’t understand why my therapist said what she said really ?
@Tillyyyx I agree with what you said about social media and the way our society has portrayed relationships as a factor in ROCD as well. In regards to your therapist, are they specialized in OCD treatment? Also, no problem I’m happy to help, I just don’t want other people to have to go through what I did because of ROCD.
Im happily engaged to someone who I was often scared wasn’t my “type.” He is, however, the best human and partner I could imagine for myself. His smile lights up a room and his energy is so contagious. It’s natural to feel more attracted to your partner some times more than others—that’s just being human. That said, you aren’t just choosing someone for how they look. You’re choosing someone for who they are and how they complement you 💜
Thanks for the comment and very true! I don’t think otherwise it’s my ocd ❤️
It could be worth your while explaining to your therapist next time how distressed you felt about the possibility of not having Rocd, and it is also an option to request a new therapist if they aren't the correct fit for you Relationship obsessions I find are extremely hard to explain, because the thoughts aren't as bizarre as other ocd themes (in my personal experience, don't want to speak for everyone) and also genuine relationship issues can get mixed in with all the ocd mess, so i would try explain how your thoughts/feelings/doubts make you feel distressed and against what you believe you want Hope this helps 😊
Yes she is a therapist from the NOCD app... and yes I understand:)
Well then I’m as confused as you are, maybe she has not heard this version of ROCD yet or she may not be familiar with ROCD as a whole. It is a newer version and my therapist that only helps people with OCD hasn’t had much experience with ROCD before me, so I would talk to her about it again and say how other people have had a similar experience. I hope this helps and that you get the help you need to be happy!
Tw Do you guys think with POCD/HOCD it‘s nearly impossible to not develop ROCD? I met my boyfriend during recovery, but I didn’t have any butterflies or faster heartbeat and I wasn’t that attracted to him but I was fascinated by his character, attitude and charisma. I started to google and asked friends if I’m allowed to start a relationship with him if I don’t have overwhelming feelings. I noticed I still thought about other guys.But I knew that I wanted to be with him I was feeling good and happy, he is perfect. I thought maybe I’ll develop harder feelings during the next couple of weeks. But I didn’t. I developed more feelings than I had in the beginning and even sometimes butterflies, but I always thought it wasn’t enough. After 2 months my POCD started coming back because I was asking myself constantly if I’m not enough attracted to my boyfriend. We got intimate a couple of weeks before it came up again and it was new and everything to me and it was hard to manage, questioning my feelings constantly. My therapist also said that we have to work on my feelings because she thinks I’m not letting me feel enough. She’s right, since POCD is here again, I am afraid to have feelings towards anyone because I think all my feelings are linked to children. I feel like I just can’t let go and be happy. I don’t know what to do. POCD is one thing, but I thought about breaking up with my boyfriend a lot of times because I feel very guilty concerning the fact about my lack of physical feelings. I know that I love him, I want to be with him, I want him to be the last person I see in the evening and the first person I see when I wake up, I feel safe, he feels like home, he is the most caring, loving and sweet person I’ve ever met. The thought of braking up with him makes me cry so hard and breaks my heart. But I just can’t stop thinking about whether it’s enough or not, whether it’s enough or not, whether it’s right or not. I think my OCD plays a huge part concerning the feelings but at the same time I question “what if not? What if OCD isn’t the one who stops you from feeling things and you just don’t love him?” It makes my POCD even worse. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do/feel/think. Whether it’s my OCD ruining it or not. If I’m ruining it myself and in denial and just not wanting to let go of my boyfriend. I feel very guilty especially towards him. But I want to be with him but all the things from the beginning and everything tells me that I shouldn’t. I don’t know anymore.
Is this ROCD or not? I continuously keep having doubts about my feelings for my boyfriend. I’ve never had this before with my previous relationships and it’s really upsetting because this is the first boy that’s actually treating me like how i deserve. I feel like i’m in a bubble when it’s to do with him. I feel like i can’t emotionally get to him or connect to him. Whenever I think about him or see photos of him i get anxious and stuff. I know i want to be with him forever and i panic about it going wrong. I’m scared i’m going to end up giving in to the doubts and end it😞Whenever i think about the future it makes me anxious, it’s like i’m turning my emotions off. I keep crying after being intimate with him and i don’t know why, i’m panicking it’s because i’m losing feelings for him. I look at other couples and ask myself why am i not like them, why am i not in love like them. They make it look easy and it’s making me doubt everything. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months and it’s amazing when i don’t have these horrendous doubts. He’s so patient with me and he loves me and worships the ground that I walk on yet and I still have these doubts. They came when our relationship started getting serious. I keep asking my friends and mum for reassurance if i love him and it’s making me so so sad. I feel like if i love him i shouldn’t be having these feelings. He’s not done anything wrong and i feel so guilty for it. Is this OCD or me? Plz help :(
I have currently starting dating a lovely woman. Everything about her is perfect except that she is not my usual ‘type’. She does not have the usual long hair and ultra femme style that I usually go for. I am worried that she is not attractive enough and I hate myself for even thinking that. (She is cute as a button, just not the adrenaline rush I am used to) I worry that I am not going to be as into her as she is into me. I am petrified of hurting her. Since I now know the tricks my mind plays, I have continued to see her, because she’s wonderful and I want so much to make it work with her. I just can’t shake the fear that I am going to hurt her and I that it’s my responsibility to protect her from that. Even though I KNOW that I DON’T KNOW how it will turn out. Words of encouragement are appreciated. Thank you!
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond