- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I was dating a girl that was absolutely perfect for me and I let thoughts that “I wasn’t attracted enough to her” ruin our relationship because I was always checking to make sure I was attracted to her all of the time. She is an absolutely beautiful girl and I regret letting my ocd ruin something so very special, because our love was one of a kind. I don’t know if this is the “type” you are talking about, but regardless, I would suggest looking at these thoughts as OCD and just trying to stay present with him and enjoy the relationship you share. There is no “perfect” person that we like to shape in our head, but it sounds like you found the person that is right for you. OCD will try to dissect any part of the relationship or our significant other to make you feel like it’s not “perfect” and therefore isn’t right. I hope this helps and I hope you can stay present and enjoy your relationship with the person that makes you happy. Don’t let OCD take it from you, you deserve happiness.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thankyou ! I’m sorry to hear that you had your relationship ruined by the ocd monster! And I blame ocd and also our society of throw away culture that doesn’t seem to value genuine connections -I’m sure social media and this way of thinking must have increased ROCD cases a lot ... anyway I agree with everything you say and thanks for you post it means a lot , I don’t understand why my therapist said what she said really ?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tillyyyx I agree with what you said about social media and the way our society has portrayed relationships as a factor in ROCD as well. In regards to your therapist, are they specialized in OCD treatment? Also, no problem I’m happy to help, I just don’t want other people to have to go through what I did because of ROCD.
- Date posted
- 3y
Im happily engaged to someone who I was often scared wasn’t my “type.” He is, however, the best human and partner I could imagine for myself. His smile lights up a room and his energy is so contagious. It’s natural to feel more attracted to your partner some times more than others—that’s just being human. That said, you aren’t just choosing someone for how they look. You’re choosing someone for who they are and how they complement you 💜
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for the comment and very true! I don’t think otherwise it’s my ocd ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
It could be worth your while explaining to your therapist next time how distressed you felt about the possibility of not having Rocd, and it is also an option to request a new therapist if they aren't the correct fit for you Relationship obsessions I find are extremely hard to explain, because the thoughts aren't as bizarre as other ocd themes (in my personal experience, don't want to speak for everyone) and also genuine relationship issues can get mixed in with all the ocd mess, so i would try explain how your thoughts/feelings/doubts make you feel distressed and against what you believe you want Hope this helps 😊
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes she is a therapist from the NOCD app... and yes I understand:)
- Date posted
- 3y
Well then I’m as confused as you are, maybe she has not heard this version of ROCD yet or she may not be familiar with ROCD as a whole. It is a newer version and my therapist that only helps people with OCD hasn’t had much experience with ROCD before me, so I would talk to her about it again and say how other people have had a similar experience. I hope this helps and that you get the help you need to be happy!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w
for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.
- Date posted
- 11w
So I talked to my therapist about some things, and I’m doing a lot better. I’ve realized I’m obsessed with infatuation and feelings. When I expect to feel really goodly eyed over my boyfriend I don’t, sometimes I am most of the time I’m not. However I cuddle him, have desires for sex with him, I love him, I love being with him, he’s funny, his personality is attractive. I also want my physical attraction to grow. I’m afraid if I don’t look at him an ogle that it means I should be with someone I can do that with.But physical attraction is fleeting. He’s amazing he should be the father of my kids, I am not wanting to give up. This is half ocd half not. I wand to feel a certain way but honesty ? I have to allow myself to feel these things and stop fearing. Like allow myself to reflect on his heart and the things I love instead of focusing on obsessing over something I don’t like.
- Date posted
- 8w
Okay. This might be a little long. Basically I’m just wondering if this is really ROCD or if I officially lost feelings for my current boyfriend. BACKGROUND ABOUT ME: I assume this might help whoever reads this, and that may explain my situation. Long story short I have bad anxiety and OCD about intrusive thoughts. I figured out about my anxiety from a therapist after it started to get really bad when I was in middle school. However I figured out about my OCD this year. Before middle school I started to get anxiety from my dad. My parents divorced and he was an emotional abuser and very narcissistic. So since I was little I was always careful on what I did and said. And then another topic is that I had an ex bf who acted close to him. He was very insecure so he was controlling over me and was narcissistic and also emotionally abusive towards me. Always played the victim, etc. So he kind of traumatized me because we fought daily and just the way he treated me. My current bf is a green flag to me. We don’t fight, he is kind, understanding, funny. He checks all my boxes. Me and him were friends for about a year before we considered being together. 2 MONTHS AGO: this is when it started. It was a Sunday and me and him were going to an event at my school. It was for seniors because we were graduating the Sunday coming up. And we hung out the past 2 days and from what I remember things were like they were. Me and him were about to hit 8months the up coming Monday and I did understand that’s the time where the “honeymoon” phase becomes more.. I’ll say realistic? Anyway, we were close to leaving and something in my gut was off. Idk what it was. Idk if I was nervous for the event or something. But I just had a weird feeling. Again I have bad anxiety and OCD so I was scared about all the kids that were there. I don’t know. Anyway we left and when got to about 3 minutes away from our location my bf turns to me in the car and tells me how lucky he is to have me and how much he loves me. Then the thought “idk if I love you the same anymore” came in my head. And my gut feeling worsened. It was unnoticeable before but after he said that and I thought what I thought it got so much worse. Like it was sickening for me. I I love you back immediately but that thought.. I didn’t let it go. I couldn’t enjoy the night at all. I tried to act like everything was fine but inside I was suffering. Later that night he took me home. And I couldn’t get rid of that thought in my head. We FaceTimed a bit later like we did almost every night but I couldn’t be on the phone. Every time I looked at him I felt guilty and that thought kept coming back that I lost my love for him. So about 5-10 mins later I told him I was tired, said our goodnights and hung up. I cried. I didn’t like what I was feeling and I didn’t know what it meant. It was hard to fall asleep but once I did I remember waking up in the middle of the night to the thought about my bf. I got up to splash water in my face to cool me off because I was sweating. I got ready for school and I was crying I was confused, worried, I didn’t even know. I cried to my mom later and she didn’t know what to say or do. I cried all day at school and my gut feeling was horrible. I’ve never had it as bad as I did the first few days after this started. PRESENT(2months later): I already typed a lot so I don’t want to make entire book. But now, it’s like the gut feeling is there but tolerable. I still get the thoughts and the gut feeling does worsen a bit when my bf texts me and I see his face in photos and such. Or even think about him. My main concern is that we are supposed to go on a trip together next month and before this happened I was so excited to go with him. And now it’s like “what if I’m not better” “I don’t love him anymore to go with him.” Idk what to do. It’s like a chore for everything, when I text him, hanging out, calling him. Everything. Idk why to do. Idk if it’s because I was reck for the event or because of graduation and needed a reason for my nervousness? Idk. He didn’t do anything, he hasn’t done a single thing but be there for me. As much as I’ve been there for him. I don’t want to lose him. There is more to this story so if you want to ask go for it. I know this is hella long so. But I just want the help. Please let me know!!
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