How do those of you with ROCD manage the feelings of guilt etc when you don't fight your doubts? For example, I often have this nagging thought that I don't "really" love/like my partner, even though all evidence is to the contrary; I know that the best thing to do is to avoid engaging with these thoughts, but then I just feel so awful for having them, especially as my partner is so considerate, caring, and everything I could want and need. I also worry that allowing these thoughts to stay in my mind without disproving them will mean that I will start really believing them, and I really can't stand that idea. How do I continue to not engage with these thoughts when they feel so awful, and like they will have horrible consequences???

4 years ago, the theme that was most prevalent in my life was ROCD. And if I’m being honest, it was the most painful one I’ve experienced. I would rather have any version of OCD than that one. I would wake up with a sick nagging feeling that I was living a lie and I didn’t truly love my fiancé. I also felt like the more I engaged with the thoughts, the more they would actually come true. It was horrible. I remember pleading with God and the universe to make it stop because all I wanted was to enjoy my engagement and my fiancé and not be tortured. What helped me what remembering OCD attacks what we value the most. So, if your OCD is attacking your relationship, that must mean it’s extremely important to you. I also remember reading that “love” is not a feeling, it’s an action. Instead of relying on that “feeling”, CHOOSE to love them instead. Don’t wait until things feel “right” because if you constantly feeling check, it won’t go away. That nagging feeling will be there for a little while, but if you consistently work on not checking it and just living with it, I promise you, it’ll go away. That was a very dark time in my life, I can empathize with you. Hang in there. It gets better.

Andrea, how long did it take you to overcome your ROCD? It’s amazing that you overcame it, it’s something I’m hoping for

This is so very helpful. I keep letting old feelings sneak in and cover up new loving feelings... thats what is bothering me the most right now. ..I've been told, you actually fall in love years after marriage, if the in love feelings weren't there in the beginning, but knew that person was the right person to be with and love would follow.. That happened to me, but when I get low, I think about how, those old not loving feelings must be the truth not the new loving feelings. I struggle with that allot. I have no one to turn too,, so this forum is very helpful.

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