- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
4 years ago, the theme that was most prevalent in my life was ROCD. And if I’m being honest, it was the most painful one I’ve experienced. I would rather have any version of OCD than that one. I would wake up with a sick nagging feeling that I was living a lie and I didn’t truly love my fiancé. I also felt like the more I engaged with the thoughts, the more they would actually come true. It was horrible. I remember pleading with God and the universe to make it stop because all I wanted was to enjoy my engagement and my fiancé and not be tortured. What helped me what remembering OCD attacks what we value the most. So, if your OCD is attacking your relationship, that must mean it’s extremely important to you. I also remember reading that “love” is not a feeling, it’s an action. Instead of relying on that “feeling”, CHOOSE to love them instead. Don’t wait until things feel “right” because if you constantly feeling check, it won’t go away. That nagging feeling will be there for a little while, but if you consistently work on not checking it and just living with it, I promise you, it’ll go away. That was a very dark time in my life, I can empathize with you. Hang in there. It gets better.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks Andrea, that's really good to hear, and I appreciate your empathy ❤ I'm trying my best not to do that kind of checking but it's really hard, so it's good to have support :)
- Date posted
- 3y
I had a thought yesterday that was like my bf isn’t as attractive today as usual and then I started thinking omg what if I think this all The time then my brain told me yes it’s true but I know it’s not true then I felt the need to go look at pictures of him from when we met till now and my brain was like what if you never found him attractive and I know I 100% did and still do I hate this so much
- Date posted
- 3y
Did you go to any sort of counseling or did you basically just make up your mind and did meds help you along the way?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Reaganrileyyy I go through this exact kind of cycle! I always doubt my past and present feelings and thoughts, and it makes it really hard to trust myself, so I really empathise with you on this, it's really shitty but you're not going through it alone
- Date posted
- 3y
@jemcu812 No counseling and no medication. I read a bunch of stories online of people with ROCD. I think one of the websites I remember was called, “love the one you’re with”.
- Date posted
- 3y
Andrea, how long did it take you to overcome your ROCD? It’s amazing that you overcame it, it’s something I’m hoping for
- Date posted
- 3y
That theme lasted for about a year, but once I really started not paying attention to all those nagging feelings, I would say it started getting better after a couple months!
- Date posted
- 3y
@andrea7 Thank you for replying! It’s just so hard to ignore the nagging feelings when they’re constant
- Date posted
- 3y
@Liza7 Totally get it! It felt impossible. I thought of the nagging feeling like a headache. Even though a headache sucks, for the most part you can still go about your day and enjoy it. Think of the nagging feeling like that. Even though it’s there, that doesn’t mean you can’t continue to love your partner and enjoy the day.
- Date posted
- 3y
@andrea7 Thank you for your encouragement! I like the thought of thinking about it like a headache, I might try that!
- Date posted
- 3y
This is so very helpful. I keep letting old feelings sneak in and cover up new loving feelings... thats what is bothering me the most right now. ..I've been told, you actually fall in love years after marriage, if the in love feelings weren't there in the beginning, but knew that person was the right person to be with and love would follow.. That happened to me, but when I get low, I think about how, those old not loving feelings must be the truth not the new loving feelings. I struggle with that allot. I have no one to turn too,, so this forum is very helpful.
- Date posted
- 3y
🥰
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety
- Date posted
- 23w
How do you guys get past the anxiety? I feel like my thoughts are the only thing that control my mind. So often I feel like I should just leave my partner even tho I love them so much because I just feel like these thoughts are too much. I over analyze everything. I feel so stuck and defeated. I just want to be normal. I feel so toxic for the thoughts that I have
- Date posted
- 22w
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
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