4 years ago, the theme that was most prevalent in my life was ROCD. And if I’m being honest, it was the most painful one I’ve experienced. I would rather have any version of OCD than that one. I would wake up with a sick nagging feeling that I was living a lie and I didn’t truly love my fiancé. I also felt like the more I engaged with the thoughts, the more they would actually come true. It was horrible. I remember pleading with God and the universe to make it stop because all I wanted was to enjoy my engagement and my fiancé and not be tortured. What helped me what remembering OCD attacks what we value the most. So, if your OCD is attacking your relationship, that must mean it’s extremely important to you. I also remember reading that “love” is not a feeling, it’s an action. Instead of relying on that “feeling”, CHOOSE to love them instead. Don’t wait until things feel “right” because if you constantly feeling check, it won’t go away. That nagging feeling will be there for a little while, but if you consistently work on not checking it and just living with it, I promise you, it’ll go away. That was a very dark time in my life, I can empathize with you. Hang in there. It gets better.
Thanks Andrea, that's really good to hear, and I appreciate your empathy ❤ I'm trying my best not to do that kind of checking but it's really hard, so it's good to have support :)
I had a thought yesterday that was like my bf isn’t as attractive today as usual and then I started thinking omg what if I think this all The time then my brain told me yes it’s true but I know it’s not true then I felt the need to go look at pictures of him from when we met till now and my brain was like what if you never found him attractive and I know I 100% did and still do I hate this so much
Did you go to any sort of counseling or did you basically just make up your mind and did meds help you along the way?
@Reaganrileyyy I go through this exact kind of cycle! I always doubt my past and present feelings and thoughts, and it makes it really hard to trust myself, so I really empathise with you on this, it's really shitty but you're not going through it alone
@jemcu812 No counseling and no medication. I read a bunch of stories online of people with ROCD. I think one of the websites I remember was called, “love the one you’re with”.
Andrea, how long did it take you to overcome your ROCD? It’s amazing that you overcame it, it’s something I’m hoping for
That theme lasted for about a year, but once I really started not paying attention to all those nagging feelings, I would say it started getting better after a couple months!
@andrea7 Thank you for replying! It’s just so hard to ignore the nagging feelings when they’re constant
@Liza7 Totally get it! It felt impossible. I thought of the nagging feeling like a headache. Even though a headache sucks, for the most part you can still go about your day and enjoy it. Think of the nagging feeling like that. Even though it’s there, that doesn’t mean you can’t continue to love your partner and enjoy the day.
@andrea7 Thank you for your encouragement! I like the thought of thinking about it like a headache, I might try that!
This is so very helpful. I keep letting old feelings sneak in and cover up new loving feelings... thats what is bothering me the most right now. ..I've been told, you actually fall in love years after marriage, if the in love feelings weren't there in the beginning, but knew that person was the right person to be with and love would follow.. That happened to me, but when I get low, I think about how, those old not loving feelings must be the truth not the new loving feelings. I struggle with that allot. I have no one to turn too,, so this forum is very helpful.