- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
4 years ago, the theme that was most prevalent in my life was ROCD. And if I’m being honest, it was the most painful one I’ve experienced. I would rather have any version of OCD than that one. I would wake up with a sick nagging feeling that I was living a lie and I didn’t truly love my fiancé. I also felt like the more I engaged with the thoughts, the more they would actually come true. It was horrible. I remember pleading with God and the universe to make it stop because all I wanted was to enjoy my engagement and my fiancé and not be tortured. What helped me what remembering OCD attacks what we value the most. So, if your OCD is attacking your relationship, that must mean it’s extremely important to you. I also remember reading that “love” is not a feeling, it’s an action. Instead of relying on that “feeling”, CHOOSE to love them instead. Don’t wait until things feel “right” because if you constantly feeling check, it won’t go away. That nagging feeling will be there for a little while, but if you consistently work on not checking it and just living with it, I promise you, it’ll go away. That was a very dark time in my life, I can empathize with you. Hang in there. It gets better.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks Andrea, that's really good to hear, and I appreciate your empathy ❤ I'm trying my best not to do that kind of checking but it's really hard, so it's good to have support :)
- Date posted
- 3y
I had a thought yesterday that was like my bf isn’t as attractive today as usual and then I started thinking omg what if I think this all The time then my brain told me yes it’s true but I know it’s not true then I felt the need to go look at pictures of him from when we met till now and my brain was like what if you never found him attractive and I know I 100% did and still do I hate this so much
- Date posted
- 3y
Did you go to any sort of counseling or did you basically just make up your mind and did meds help you along the way?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Reaganrileyyy I go through this exact kind of cycle! I always doubt my past and present feelings and thoughts, and it makes it really hard to trust myself, so I really empathise with you on this, it's really shitty but you're not going through it alone
- Date posted
- 3y
@jemcu812 No counseling and no medication. I read a bunch of stories online of people with ROCD. I think one of the websites I remember was called, “love the one you’re with”.
- Date posted
- 3y
Andrea, how long did it take you to overcome your ROCD? It’s amazing that you overcame it, it’s something I’m hoping for
- Date posted
- 3y
That theme lasted for about a year, but once I really started not paying attention to all those nagging feelings, I would say it started getting better after a couple months!
- Date posted
- 3y
@andrea7 Thank you for replying! It’s just so hard to ignore the nagging feelings when they’re constant
- Date posted
- 3y
@Liza7 Totally get it! It felt impossible. I thought of the nagging feeling like a headache. Even though a headache sucks, for the most part you can still go about your day and enjoy it. Think of the nagging feeling like that. Even though it’s there, that doesn’t mean you can’t continue to love your partner and enjoy the day.
- Date posted
- 3y
@andrea7 Thank you for your encouragement! I like the thought of thinking about it like a headache, I might try that!
- Date posted
- 3y
This is so very helpful. I keep letting old feelings sneak in and cover up new loving feelings... thats what is bothering me the most right now. ..I've been told, you actually fall in love years after marriage, if the in love feelings weren't there in the beginning, but knew that person was the right person to be with and love would follow.. That happened to me, but when I get low, I think about how, those old not loving feelings must be the truth not the new loving feelings. I struggle with that allot. I have no one to turn too,, so this forum is very helpful.
- Date posted
- 3y
🥰
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
- Date posted
- 13w
feel like I’ve been stuck in this ROCD cycle for so long that I don’t even know what’s real anymore. Everything feels so heavy and confusing. I keep having thoughts like “I don’t love him,” “I never really did,” “I’m just used to him,” or “I’m staying out of guilt or fear.” They come with a strong emotional pull that makes it feel like I’m finally facing some ‘truth’ — but I don’t even know what that truth is. Even when things are going well with my boyfriend — when he’s loving, caring, affectionate — I still feel disconnected, like I can’t feel love or calmness. And then I feel guilty for not feeling what I think I should feel. I overthink everything: memories, how I used to feel, how I feel now, what I might feel tomorrow. I can’t tell if I’m just scared to lose him or if I’m trying to force something that isn’t there. I’ve read so much about ROCD and I know I’m supposed to sit with the thoughts and let them pass, but sometimes they feel so real that I don’t know how to keep going. Sometimes I even feel numb and that scares me too — like if I don’t react with panic, it must be true. I just want peace. I want clarity. I want to stop analyzing and doubting every moment. Has anyone else felt this way? How do you sit with this and not spiral? Thank you so much for reading. 💔
- Date posted
- 10w
I wanted to talk about my experiences with rOCD since I currently do still suffer from it but I know if I talked about them. My thoughts are just gonna get stronger, but I’ll do it for the sake of talking about my experiences to others who feel like they’re alone. I have a very loving relationship actually my first healthy relationship we are currently still dating one year and six months. I would say these intrusive thoughts started to happen once I hit the one year mark with him. Nothing in the relationship has made me think these thoughts, but it just came. Like when my mind tried to make me think I liked another guy other than my boyfriend and that I was losing feelings for him. I started to panic because I knew that my heart belonged to my boyfriend and having thoughts that were against that belief it made me really anxious cause I never had those thoughts before. I was in and out of the care center at my school constantly having anxiety attacks, and it was affecting me day by day. I talk to my boyfriend about it because my mind can never keep secrets from him because then I would feel like that I’m lying to him… my mind just kinda works that way and I believe it’s due to the situation I have with rOCD. Luckily, he was really supportive.. in thoughts I’ve had was what if I don’t like him anymore or if he doesn’t do this does that mean he likes me or if he’s even the one just a lot of doubts about me and him in the relationship. And for anyone who’s experiencing stuff familiar to this you are not alone invalid only what you believe is what is true. And I know it’s gonna be hard to know what’s true or not because these thoughts that you have versus what’s in your heart you get confused but if you know that you love that person then that’s what true. Also, the only reason why it affected me a lot was because I kept trying to solve it and the only solution is to let those thoughts in and accept that you have those thoughts. I don’t mean as an accept that these thoughts are true, but accepts that those are the thoughts that you’re thinking because if you keep on trying to find a solution to remove them, it only just get worse.
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