- Username
- DBurch13
- Date posted
- 2y ago
It took me about a year of therapy to be diagnosed with ocd. I’ve been dealing with ocd for as long as I can remember but I never wanted to label it in fear of discounting others experiences if I was wrong. It was in college that I started noticing some common compulsions associated width ocd but most of my ocd is not stereotypical ocd like many of us so I discounted my suspicions. I was diagnosed officially about three months ago. I’ve just started my journey but I’m thankful for my diagnosis to help understand myself better.
My OCD started in my early 20's, right after I had remembered sexual abuse I had blocked out from childhood, I had moved out of my parents house and was married and had a baby and my husband was not coming home for days, leaving us with out food and trasportation, etc.. So, looking back now I see that my themes were based around checking the house and contamination of food. I lived with this for many years and thought it was normal behavior and had no clue that others didn't feel the same. I was watching tv and there was a show called Obsessed and watching the behaviors of the people that is how I realized I had OCD. Good luck to you all in your journey!
I had to figure it out on my own, I was too scared to tell my therapists the extent of my thoughts because I didn't want them to tell me I had schizophrenia. So they just thought I had severe anxiety. Constant Google searches and listening to stories led me to OCD, which I had confirmed with an actual OCD therapist. It was comforting to know I wasn't losing my mind, but it's still hard.
Thanks for sharing your stories. Hopefully they can help others.
How did you guys find out you probably had ocd, diagnosis or no diagnosis? I haven’t been diagnosed and my parents don’t know, I actually turned 14 today. I have had intrusive thoughts since I was 11 or 12, but throughout the 2nd half of 2018, the occasional intrusive thoughts slowly became more common, but didn’t bother me too bad, but I kept obsessing over: what is wrong with me? And “Am I schizophrenic?” I kept thinking I had schizophrenia but I would only occasionally think of it. Eventually in december, I bought me and my dad a pocket knife, basically as a gift for him. Over the next 3 days I kept having harm ocd about my knife but I refused to hide it. Then at school the thoughts went wild and I knew something was wrong. I looked up “scary thoughts” when I got home, and ever since then, the way I used to feel has been gone. I think about ocd everyday now. Idk what to do. My harm ocd has gone away mostly but now I have a lot of thoughts of me hurting myself and “what if I just die”. It scares me. Anyway, anyone have a story similar to this? Thanks.
When and how did you first discover you may have OCD? I'm beginning to think OCD is one of the most understudied, misunderstood mental health issues ever. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder about 6 years ago after I started suffering from panic attacks, but only just recently discovered my condition could be much more specific than that. I've been suffering from intrusive thoughts and complusions since I was a teenager with a variety of themes. And honestly this app and amazing community has opened my eyes to it. I'm curious if anyone else has had an experience like mine where they were just thrown into the general diagnosis category of just having anxiety and/or depression and is only just now coming to terms with having OCD? What has been your experience with the therapists on this app? I'm using another popular, pricey app for talk therapy at the moment, but so far 4 therapists have ghosted me on it so my confidence is feeling pretty shot. Has talk therapy and working with a therapist on here been successful for you?
How has everyone else's OCD progressed throughout their lives? Has everyone else always had severe OCD or did you live regular lives beforehand and encounter one point where it went from 0 to 100. Where are you now in your OCD Journey? I'm very curious as to everyone else's stories and have left mine below if you’d like to read it. From what I can remember, I went relatively undisturbed by OCD the majority of my middle/late childhood, only having about 1-3 thoughts a year that weren't super bothersome but did create a level of distress uncomparable to regular intrusive thoughts. They were mainly about my health and about my parents safety & wellbeing. The earliest memory about my OCD that really stood out was back in 5th Grade, when I hit my head on a swing set and immediately began reciting every moment leading up to injury as well as every math equation I knew to make sure my memory was still intact. The greater part of my adolescence was essentially the same and resembled what I believed to be a normal life, just with a couple of OCD thoughts sprinkled throughout it. I was able to function pretty well albeit depressed and somewhat anxious. It wasn't until I was close to my highschool graduation that I experienced the worst panic attack(at the time) at the idea that I would hurt my parents. It was so distressing because the thought felt so loud that I believed it was genuine which only caused more distress. I was so scared that I would act on the thought that I discarded all of my sharp objects and locked myself in my room. That was my first ever severe reaction I experienced due to OCD and was back in May of this year. I actually learned what OCD was the same night and realized that many of my newly found fears including mold growing in my walls and my parents disliking me were also caused by the OCD. Unfortunately learning that it was probably OCD wasn't enough to quell my fear and I engaged in a bunch of compulsions in the months to come, worsening my OCD In the process. June was alright. July was worse(I only had like three topics for obsessions which sounds great now). Late July-Early August was my tipping point . Things went from worse to profoundly terrible in a short period. I found this app late August which was great because I had grown exhausted. September was pretty bad but not as bad as August. Now it's October and life is somewhat good now. I've become more knowledgeable of OCD (big thanks to this app and my therapist) but I'm very far from done. There's still this looming sense of anxiety that follows me everywhere. I have like 20 obsessions now, some being larger and scarier than others but those smaller ones are still apparent. But, the fear has decreased as well as the mental compulsions that came with it. My mind is quieter now. However the anxiety has stayed the same. My heart still drops whenever my worst obsession is triggered. Headaches, brain fog, sweating, rapid heart rate, sense of being paralyzed, racing mind are commonplace in my life but I've learned to sit with the physical discomfort (not that it makes it any less terrifying). Anyways, I'm here now which is cool. I’d like to listen to others' experiences to get a better understanding of OCD and maybe feel a bit less alone. feel free to ask any questions.
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