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- 3y
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- 3y
Hello and thank you for your support! I am 30 years old and maybe had Ocd since childhood. Recently I got married and gave birth to my son so Ocd really increased and hit me in many ways. Except from having Ocd thoughts about my role as a mother, I have horrible Rocd thoughts that my husband might betray me, leave me even if he loves and supports me in all the ways. I really don't know how to handle it anymore... there are days that feel like I am going crazy. I can't enjoy my life and my baby. I feel so horrible and guilty for living like that. In addition I don't want to take medication right now for personal reasons. Is there any advice you could give me? Thank you again for your time
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- 3y
I'm sorry you are struggling so much. Are you in treatment? If not, I suggest finding a counselor who understands OCD and specializes in ERP. It has been lifechanging. I started having symptoms of OCD at age 8. I had no idea that's what I was dealing with until last summer. I was diagnosed last August at age 45. I have completed treatment and am now in recovery.
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- 3y
It’s very hard I know,ERP seems to be the way to go,was no such treatment years ago unfortunately, I was always very I’ll after the kids were born, I started to really recover after being proscribed Prozac in the early 90s, I also joined a group called ‘grow’for support,I’ve been really quite well up until 3 years ago, I had almost forgotten what it’s like, I think the menopause and dealing with covid together brought it back with a bang,there is no ERP therapy I can access ,I’ve tried to do it myself but I don’t understand how to tbh,I’d love to do it properly and learn how to help myself recover again🙏
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- 3y
Nice to hear from someone else in my age group. I often wondered if I was in the minority here. I’m 58 mother of two grown up sons.
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- 3y
Nice to meet you!
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- 3y
@Sulli66 You too!
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- 3y
I'm 62. So I feel.ur pain. Are you on meds? I think I need them.
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- 3y
Yes am on meds for years,was Prozac 20ml a day before I had this episode ,worked great until 3 years ago 🙄
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- 3y
Sulli I agree about menopause. I got suddenly much much worse overnight after a nightmare. I’ve since started hrt which has helped but certainly not cured. Are you in the UK. I am and there doesn’t seem to be any emphasis on ERP here, o had CBT but didn’t find it very helpful really.
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- 3y
Hi Angel 20 I’m in Ireland,cbt didn’t help me much either,wish there was more help like erp or a group we cud go to,oh I know what you mean about menopause,it’s definitely connected to hormones,I was on hrt as well for a while but had to come off it in order to take my meds,great to chat with someone who understands !
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- 3y
Thank you ❤️
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- 3y
I’ve never been on meds. Sometimes wonder if they may help.
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- 3y
They really helped me,but well done for managing without them as well,that’s not easy
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- 3y
I'm 45
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- 3y
Hi there
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- 3y
Same Sulli, to chat to someone my age group and who understands is priceless. How does ocd mainly affect you? For me it centres around my wonderful husband, I guess a type of ROCD.
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- 3y
I had the same obsession for years all around my looks and confidence (or lack of) but it’s changed now as I moved house recently after 30 years and now it’s all about if I made a mistake in moving 🙄,god help you as well with that rocd , I used to have it as well years ago, I notice if you can increase your self esteem and confidence the symptoms will ease,sending you virtual hugs 🤗🤗,as you said priceless to have someone in the same boat💕
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- 3y
Thank you Sulli. Hugs to you too x
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I hope everyone is doing well today, and for those of you who are struggling my thoughts and prayers are with you. Just know your moment of peace is coming soon. I think it’s important that we post / come on here every now and again even when we are not in a moment of pure panic and fear. Remember that we are not our thoughts as hard as it is to understand. Remember that OCD makes it feel “real” and that OCD will always make us think the most inappropriate things and the most inappropriate times. Remember that all humans, have thoughts that come and go and as hard as it can be to understand you are not alone in your thoughts that feel so unique. For me I get a lot of anxiety from thoughts I used to have , which of course makes them return in full throttle. The more I push them away the more they come back. And those thought makes new connections to those things in my life I value. OCD is a pain but it’s important that as much as you hate it you learn to be compassionate and understanding that it’s there to “help” you no matter how bad it does it job sometimes. Stay strong everyone
- Date posted
- 23w
Trigger Warning: Suicide I’m 21(Female) just for reference Anyone else struggling with OCD so much to where you feel so isolated, confused, burnout, suffering & in astonishing emotional pain & agony. I promise yall aren’t alone in the feelings. I promise you there is someone going through similar, obviously our lives aren’t identical, but our struggles can be very similar. It’s even harder dealing with trauma, split parents, abusive parent(s), a sick parent at the same time as all of this. It feels like God or the universe just WANTS you to struggle. Like it’s punishment for something you did as a kid or teenager. I’m dealing with all this exactly. Sometimes I just want support. So I hope this message can be support for someone struggling too & hope it helps them be able to breathe a little easier & gives them strength to go on another day. I just would like to mention if you have access to therapy take advantage of it. The therapists are not there to judge you but I promise it’s a them issue & you’re not a horrible person. When I used to think of suicide often I started to think less “doomsdayish” & realized that I wont know how my life will turn out if I just give up. If you give up you won’t ever know. Whether your situation will improve, & all the fear in your heart just gone. You could miss out on that freedom and happiness you’ve been waiting for in this current life we are living. One last thing I want to point out that I’ve thought about is that we don’t know how many more people are out there struggling with this. I think they’re maybe afraid of judgement. Basically what I’m implying is I feel like there are so many others out there who don’t want to speak up & are struggling with this. Everything on their conscious being afraid to even write it down. I just feel in my heart that there are others who keep these issues to themselves. I think I feel it in my heart because that was me once. Feeling like my story was different, afraid at thought of even telling a stranger(therapist) who could judge me. I did not want to be perceived badly. I’m 21 years old & wish I had the courage to speak up sooner I feel like I could’ve started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel sooner but that’s okay. Speak up for you, you do not have to wake up in fear everyday or contemplate suicide everyday. Even if it feels like you’re your only cheerleader. Sending a virtual hug to all because I know what it’s like to just want to be held & told that everything is going to work out. you never know what others are going through, be the person who isn’t afraid to extend your heart to others, try & breathe a little more, take care of yourselves, remember you aren’t alone no matter your situation, stay strong To the suicidal person reading this, you’re resilient & strong. Sending a virtual hug❤️.
- Date posted
- 16w
This is my first post on this app, though I made this account back in late September of 2021. I grew up in a toxic environment, and was mentally abused by my parents, included being taken advantage of because of my autism. I’ve been suffering from OCD as long as I can remember. Ever since I was a child, I’ve sometimes had thoughts that scared me, and I’d often try to find ways to calm myself down. I’ve had thoughts over the smallest and silliest of things, but as time went on, these thoughts suddenly became more violent, like wanting to step in front of moving car while waiting for the bus, or grabbing a knife on the dinner table and using it to stab a family member. Even thoughts of death and what happens afterwards scared me. Aside from being afraid of a kids horror show for a while, OCD did bother me at points in my life, but they never severely crippled me… until my teenage years. Throughout my teen hood, I would very occasionally suddenly imagine fictional child characters being SA’d. I would also sometimes imagine children getting injured while noticing them sometimes. I didn’t know why those thoughts popped up into my head and they would weird me out, but I would be able to usually push them aside and not think about them too much… but it got worse after I was dropped out of high school without my consent by my parents. In March of 2017, I was at a gas station when I saw a child and imagined doing a disgusting action with them. It freaked me out immensely and sent me into a panic attack. I was able to calm down from it shortly after, but I think it planted a seed into my brain, and it would launch a horrific attack on me the very next month. Me and my family were driving around a town for a special occasion when I had the worst OCD attack I’ve ever had. Every child I saw, I imagined doing something disgusting to them. I was having a full blown panic attack and it honestly felt like my mind itself was being sexually assaulted by this horrifying thoughts. This incident scarred me mentally, and to this day, I’m still afraid of being around anyone younger than me. I tried researching what these thoughts could mean, and I found out about these being symptoms of OCD. After talking with a psychiatrist a month later, I was diagnosed with OCD. For a while, I thought I’d be okay from that point. I thought I could conquer this on my own… but by early 2018, I was still struggling. I eventually came out to my older sibling and parents about what I was dealing with. They thankfully didn’t ridicule me, and did help me with getting a therapist. The first visit with my therapist went alright, but I was an emotional mess after finishing the session. The next time I went in however, I was seen by someone else because my therapist was out. The man I saw honestly felt condescending, and he basically made go to a group therapy session. The group therapy didn’t help in the slightest, and with more toxicity developing in my family afterwards, I stopped going after the group therapy. I did see my therapist at least once I think, but that was it. Ever since 2018, I was silent about my OCD. I was just hoping that someday I’d be free of my shackles both from my mental illness and my toxic environment. Two years later though, a friend (now partner) of mine heard about my family’s living situation and wanted to help get me out of there. I first visited them in 2021, and thankfully I stay with them for the most part. That being said, I was still worried about opening up to them about my OCD. I did talk with them about general OCD from time to time, but never got into P OCD… until last year finally. I opened up them fully about it, and both they and their mother told me that they weren’t upset, and that they understood where I was coming from. I think that genuinely helped me out, and I don’t feel as anxious as I did before. Just yesterday, I finally talked about my OCD to my older sibling (they’re super supportive and understand our parents toxicity). I was genuinely nervous about telling them for a while out of fear of them either abandoning me or ratting me out… but they understood. They were accepting and didn’t ridicule me at all. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders… and honestly, I think I might have the courage to speak up on this app finally and hopefully find a therapist who can help me. I’ve been suffering with P OCD for over 8 years now ever since I was 18. I just recently turned 27 a few days ago. I’ve been suffering in silence for so long due to trauma, fear, and PTSD. But now, I think I want to take a step forward and get onto the road to recovery. It most likely won’t be easy and it won’t happen overnight, but I feel relieved knowing I have people who love and support me, now that I’m in a better environment.
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