- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hello and thank you for your support! I am 30 years old and maybe had Ocd since childhood. Recently I got married and gave birth to my son so Ocd really increased and hit me in many ways. Except from having Ocd thoughts about my role as a mother, I have horrible Rocd thoughts that my husband might betray me, leave me even if he loves and supports me in all the ways. I really don't know how to handle it anymore... there are days that feel like I am going crazy. I can't enjoy my life and my baby. I feel so horrible and guilty for living like that. In addition I don't want to take medication right now for personal reasons. Is there any advice you could give me? Thank you again for your time
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I'm sorry you are struggling so much. Are you in treatment? If not, I suggest finding a counselor who understands OCD and specializes in ERP. It has been lifechanging. I started having symptoms of OCD at age 8. I had no idea that's what I was dealing with until last summer. I was diagnosed last August at age 45. I have completed treatment and am now in recovery.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It’s very hard I know,ERP seems to be the way to go,was no such treatment years ago unfortunately, I was always very I’ll after the kids were born, I started to really recover after being proscribed Prozac in the early 90s, I also joined a group called ‘grow’for support,I’ve been really quite well up until 3 years ago, I had almost forgotten what it’s like, I think the menopause and dealing with covid together brought it back with a bang,there is no ERP therapy I can access ,I’ve tried to do it myself but I don’t understand how to tbh,I’d love to do it properly and learn how to help myself recover again🙏
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Nice to hear from someone else in my age group. I often wondered if I was in the minority here. I’m 58 mother of two grown up sons.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Nice to meet you!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Sulli66 You too!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I'm 62. So I feel.ur pain. Are you on meds? I think I need them.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yes am on meds for years,was Prozac 20ml a day before I had this episode ,worked great until 3 years ago 🙄
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Sulli I agree about menopause. I got suddenly much much worse overnight after a nightmare. I’ve since started hrt which has helped but certainly not cured. Are you in the UK. I am and there doesn’t seem to be any emphasis on ERP here, o had CBT but didn’t find it very helpful really.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hi Angel 20 I’m in Ireland,cbt didn’t help me much either,wish there was more help like erp or a group we cud go to,oh I know what you mean about menopause,it’s definitely connected to hormones,I was on hrt as well for a while but had to come off it in order to take my meds,great to chat with someone who understands !
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’ve never been on meds. Sometimes wonder if they may help.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
They really helped me,but well done for managing without them as well,that’s not easy
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I'm 45
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hi there
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Same Sulli, to chat to someone my age group and who understands is priceless. How does ocd mainly affect you? For me it centres around my wonderful husband, I guess a type of ROCD.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I had the same obsession for years all around my looks and confidence (or lack of) but it’s changed now as I moved house recently after 30 years and now it’s all about if I made a mistake in moving 🙄,god help you as well with that rocd , I used to have it as well years ago, I notice if you can increase your self esteem and confidence the symptoms will ease,sending you virtual hugs 🤗🤗,as you said priceless to have someone in the same boat💕
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you Sulli. Hugs to you too x
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w ago
Hi I kept seeing this app on repeat on TikTok over and over and I thought I give it a shot. I have never been diagnosed with OCD but I know that I have it. I’m a young adult and I found out the first time I had OCD was watching lelelons truth video? I was 14 at the time She had to resist sitting back down in a chair after her having sat down she started having a mental break down when she was told to resist. That’s when I knew. It started with myself going up and down a staircase twice buckling unbuckling my seat belt everytime I’m in the car ect I have always been super anti social but trying my best I can socialize but my mind wants to make it sexual with family and friends ughhhh I hate it because that’s not me when I graduated thoughts of hurting my loved ones corrupted my mind I broke down outside of church one time asking if this was really me or not i question if I’m a good enough friend or person in this world to begin with thinking everyone is judging me so so close how can I make this situation better did I do something wrong I struggle with depression as well not to bad but it’s there I come from a loving family but broken as well i believe in god and my OCD makes me go often he’s not real that stuff isn’t real no one is there to save you the list goes on. Anyway I struggle a lot and I really hope that this will help me because I feel extremely hopeless. Lucky for me I do have the ability to seek therapy and I am excited. The only person I ever tell my thoughts to is God no other human has heard so I’m really really hoping this helps me out if your reading this thank you it means a lot because this is my first time ever admitting all this it’s a lot to take in I know and I hope you are ok and that you have a great night and know that we got this
- Date posted
- 13w ago
It’s been 4 years. 4 years since I spiralled into a world controlled by rituals of 4, it started as 2, then 3, then 4 - my safe number. The amount of times I wash my hands after touching something dirty and how many repeats it takes until I feel ‘clean’, the amount of taps I make when closing doors to make sure I don’t ‘die’, the amount of times I rinse cutlery and plates before eating off them, the amount of times I disinfect things. My OCD subtype is contamination and I know 2020 lockdowns and the pandemic caused it to spiral but what started as a small ritual quickly became bigger until I no longer remembered what my life was like without the obsessive thoughts of germs and contamination. Could that person be ill? What if I go outside to the shops and someone makes me sick? You can’t answer the door to get that package from the delivery driver because he might make you sick, oh you can’t put the shopping away without disinfecting it first - what if someone has coughed on it? ‘I’ve got to wear gloves to do that’ I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. For 4 years I’ve lived like this, the ‘I don’t want to touch that’ or ‘I can’t go to this place because I don’t want to get ill and die’ ‘can you go do that for me as I don’t think I can right now’ - I know my OCD is irrational, I know the likelihood of those things actually happening are slim to none and I know my OCD stems from a need of control in my life because for so many years I felt like everything in my life was out of my control. But no matter how much I know of how many books I read, how many mindful practices I do the panic I feel after being ‘exposed’ or before exposing myself to a trigger is horrible. I’ve avoided and avoided and avoided to the point where something small now seems and feels like an impossible mountain to climb. It often feels like there isn’t light at the end of the tunnel on the dark days, when I know there is, it’s just going to take some time. Despite this on the outside to those not in my circle my life is a whole picture perfect painting. I run my own business, have a nice car, a nice house, a happy relationship and the of best friends and I’m so grateful for all those things but the reality is much different - behind closed doors and hidden in the closest is the OCD monster. I’ve decided now, after 4 years it’s time to change. I’m breaking the cycle and starting anew. The irony that 4 is my safe number too and it’s been 4 years since things started to get dark. I’m ready to lose control and find myself again. Why am I writing this? Honestly, I really don’t know. I found this app recently and hope it can be a help for my ERP practices I’ve been practicing on my own and it’s actually the first time I’ve ever openly posted or spoken about my OCD to date. For years I have lived with a huge amount of shame and embarrassment, hiding my issues from everyone - even my closest friends have no idea how much it impacts my day to day. I’ve felt shame as I can’t control my own mind despite knowing the thoughts are irrational and the rituals only provide temporary relief but each day again and again the safety blanket of the rituals wraps me up and takes over. The only person who truly knows how much it affects me is my partner, who has been by my side through it all, he’s burnt out and has seen first hand the impact it has had on me, my life and my happiness. I’ve sheltered him as much as I can, but I’m sure those who are in relationships with OCD can relate to the burnout their partner feels day in day out. So that’s my story, I hope those going through similar can take comfort in this and know they aren’t alone in it all as my OCD has made me feel so incredibly lonely, isolated and empty for 4 years too long. It feels freeing to finally share my monster and I hope I can connect with others who are on a similar journey to me. The biggest thing I want to be able to do again? I want to be able to hug my loved ones without feeling triggered, I want to go outside and enjoy life without worry, I want to live again. This app has made me feel seen for the first time in a long time and reading your stories, your experiences and how you’re coping is comforting, encouraging and makes me feel less alone ❤️ thank you for reading x
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Hi everyone, I’m Cayla. I’m a mom that’s lived with OCD since childhood, but my breaking point came more recently after having my son. I was consumed by terrifying thoughts—What if I hurt him? What if I did something awful without realizing it? I was so afraid of my own mind that I couldn’t be alone with him. The shame and exhaustion were unbearable, and I convinced myself I was broken. In 2024, I finally sought help. ERP therapy at NOCD was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it saved my life. Even now, I have tough days, but I know I don’t have to be ruled by OCD. When my 12 year old daughter began showing signs of OCD, I felt overwhelmed with guilt. I never wanted her to go through what I had, but I knew what to do. I told her that I have OCD too and made sure she knew it wasn’t her fault—and that she wasn’t alone. One of the hardest parts of this journey was trusting someone else with my daughter’s OCD. I knew how vulnerable it feels to share intrusive thoughts, and I wanted her to feel safe. Her NOCD therapist was able to establish trust and genuine empathy from the start, and that relationship gave her the confidence to face ERP head-on. Seeing her build that trust made me certain she was in the right hands. ERP has helped both of us reclaim our lives, and it is beautiful to see my daughter managing her condition and making visible progress. Parenting with OCD while raising a child with OCD isn’t talked about enough, but I know so many parents are struggling with these same challenges. If you have questions about managing OCD while parenting, helping your child through ERP, or breaking cycles of guilt, drop them below—I’d love to share what I’ve learned. I’ll be answering all of the questions I receive in real-time today 4-5pm ET.
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