- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey DBurch13, I feel like I should preface this by saying I am not a therapist, but I have been struggling with OCD and would like to share the perspective I have been developing that has been transformational to me. I have felt how you feel as well, and I am sure I will feel this way again in the future. I have found a way to get my feet back on the ground; it is difficult, confusing, and often challenging to have hope. The combination of consistent work, using ERP (if we can at least understand the basics to practice), and developing mindfulness through meditation has helped me see my thoughts and feelings differently. This metaphor helped me see why I was struggling so much with my OCD; "The Elephant and the Rider." The rider is the conscious mind with its rational functions and volitional power. But the elephant is everything else: all the internal presuppositions, genetic inclinations, subconscious motives, and layers upon layers of uninterrogated, raw experience. The elephant is bigger (more powerful) than the rider. If the elephant wants to go somewhere, it will take the rider with it! To me, this means, with practice, we can build a healthy relationship with thoughts and feelings - I am not trying to control them - it just first requires us to forgive ourselves - to treat ourselves as our best friend. In one of the live Q&As, Dr. Patrick suggested treating yourself the same way you treat a friend. For example, if a friend made a mistake or had an intrusive thought, I bet you would tell them it is normal, we all struggle with that, but if WE had that thought we would instead turn against ourselves. Maybe just for one day, treat yourself like you would your best friend. Try meditating for five minutes a day - there are some great apps that provide guided meditation, be gentle with your mind. If we feel tension, we resist something in our mind; we can learn to allow these things to unwind naturally. We think we can use our conscious thinking to fend off thoughts and feelings, but it is a trap - it will only create tension. Small challenges each day will build a foundation you can stabilize yourself onto; however, it needs deliberate work to get there. ERP reminds me that I should not avoid the things that trigger me, but be mindful to not get overwhelmed. Meditation reminds me that I am not in control of my mind yet I can observe what it is doing and strengthen my control over what I am focused on. Be well and good luck to you.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you. I appreciate the support. I just want to be around family and friends and spend as much time with them as I can and I’ve always wanted to be a writer, lol. Finally got the courage to try it and hopefully my OCD doesn’t mess it up for me.
- Date posted
- 3y
Same honestly. I too am trying to be a freelance writer. Do you have any tips by any chance?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I’m irrationally terrified of being found somehow by someone who knows me but I’m trying to post anyway. Not sure if I qualify as young adult or mid-life at this point because I’m about to be 30. Hi, I’m new here and I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis. I’m already diagnosed with autism, GAD, and probable ADHD, and I believe I’ve had varying subtypes of OCD since childhood. My worst OCD-related issue right now has been constant reassurance seeking. I’ve fallen into a trap of constantly doing it and without reassurance I’m terrified to make decisions in my new job. It’s causing me to ask too many questions I already know the answers to which makes me not look competent. Even though I’m somewhat experienced in my field of work, starting this new job has me feeling like I’m starting in the field all over again because I’m so bad these days with working independently since I can’t reassure myself that what I’m doing is correct. I’ve been stressed out of my mind and have come close to losing my job because the stress has exacerbated my autistic struggles such as meltdowns and social issues and I’m also battling the ADHD and GAD on top of it. I’ve also been pushing away people who are close to me with my reassurance seeking because I have problems with not being satisfied with any piece of advice or reassurance given to me by friends and family. They can say things will be okay a thousand times and even though I’m the one who asked I will fight them on it and I’m getting tired of my own difficult behavior and obsessive thoughts. I finally got into therapy again to try and save my job and my relationships from the clutches of my various mental illnesses and I’m just looking for community here.
- Date posted
- 13w
I’m 21. The 3 year anniversary of my graduation from high school is soon. Lately, I’ve been worried about where I’m going in life and if it’s even worth it because I don’t know why I exist or what my purpose is After graduating I lost a new job I loved due to poor management on my boss’s side, they failed to teach me my job then fired me for it, and moved from my mom’s house into my dads house due to issues with my stepdad, both of which put me into a depression. I got a new job 3 months later. But ever since being fired and moving out, I feel like I’ve been in a depressive cycle of Eat, Sleep, Work, Repeat. I’ll get home and doomscroll for hours, and occasionally play games with friends at nights. Occasionally I’ll do my hobbies but usually feel guilty for it. I don’t see my friends and family nearly as much as I used to. I want to, but it feels like everything I want to do, my intrusive thoughts find a way to keep me at home. “It’s a waste of time.” “You need to be productive on your time off or you’ll go nowhere in life so stay home.” But then if I stay home it’s “you need to go out and do something.” “You’re being unproductive sitting at home all day.” “Seeing them wont make you feel better, you’ll never be happy” My girlfriend lives 6 hours away and is usually the only time I’d go outside and live and feel in the moment, but even then I’d feel guilt. I feel like my OCD makes me feel guilty for everything. She’s helped me a lot, but lately we’ve had a few issues we’ve worked past that made me fear for losing her too. I’ve felt depressed for years now. Before being fired, I usually felt pretty good and was almost normal feeling. I’d had control over my fears and intrusive thoughts of suicide and the meaning of life, and had accepted them and wasn’t afraid. I knew it wasn’t me. But lately I’ve been trying to push myself out of this depressive cycle, and it’s made my OCD and fears of suicide and if life has meaning, come right back. I’m handling it slightly better, but it’s still hard. I just want to move past this and stop questioning why I’m even doing anything, if I want to end it all, when I know for certain I don’t want to and that I get to make my own meaning in life. I have dreams, I want to get back into art. I want to move in with my girlfriend eventually and start a family. But my OCD makes me so scared to even try to make art, and it makes me so scared I won’t be happy or content with my dreams. I feel so alone and sad. I feel like life will pass me by while I’m stuck feeling this sad and scared. It sucks, but I’m trying my best to get there. Gotta keep moving
- Date posted
- 11w
okay so I’m 18, I’ve always been kinda a homebody , especially recently starting lexapro made my anxiety worse at first ect. I feel so scared to be in the “ real world” because I feel like I’m not independent at all:/ I’ve never had a job I had 1 at 16 for 2 weeks and it wasn’t to bad. I can drive , but it’s kinda hard for me , I get scared of thinking of the future and independence “what if I’m not capable” “What if my mental health doesn’t allow me too” ect ..:/
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