- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey DBurch13, I feel like I should preface this by saying I am not a therapist, but I have been struggling with OCD and would like to share the perspective I have been developing that has been transformational to me. I have felt how you feel as well, and I am sure I will feel this way again in the future. I have found a way to get my feet back on the ground; it is difficult, confusing, and often challenging to have hope. The combination of consistent work, using ERP (if we can at least understand the basics to practice), and developing mindfulness through meditation has helped me see my thoughts and feelings differently. This metaphor helped me see why I was struggling so much with my OCD; "The Elephant and the Rider." The rider is the conscious mind with its rational functions and volitional power. But the elephant is everything else: all the internal presuppositions, genetic inclinations, subconscious motives, and layers upon layers of uninterrogated, raw experience. The elephant is bigger (more powerful) than the rider. If the elephant wants to go somewhere, it will take the rider with it! To me, this means, with practice, we can build a healthy relationship with thoughts and feelings - I am not trying to control them - it just first requires us to forgive ourselves - to treat ourselves as our best friend. In one of the live Q&As, Dr. Patrick suggested treating yourself the same way you treat a friend. For example, if a friend made a mistake or had an intrusive thought, I bet you would tell them it is normal, we all struggle with that, but if WE had that thought we would instead turn against ourselves. Maybe just for one day, treat yourself like you would your best friend. Try meditating for five minutes a day - there are some great apps that provide guided meditation, be gentle with your mind. If we feel tension, we resist something in our mind; we can learn to allow these things to unwind naturally. We think we can use our conscious thinking to fend off thoughts and feelings, but it is a trap - it will only create tension. Small challenges each day will build a foundation you can stabilize yourself onto; however, it needs deliberate work to get there. ERP reminds me that I should not avoid the things that trigger me, but be mindful to not get overwhelmed. Meditation reminds me that I am not in control of my mind yet I can observe what it is doing and strengthen my control over what I am focused on. Be well and good luck to you.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you. I appreciate the support. I just want to be around family and friends and spend as much time with them as I can and I’ve always wanted to be a writer, lol. Finally got the courage to try it and hopefully my OCD doesn’t mess it up for me.
- Date posted
- 3y
Same honestly. I too am trying to be a freelance writer. Do you have any tips by any chance?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Idk if im the only one but I've literally just been holed up in my bedroom for the past 3 months and have barely gone out especially in the last 2. I'm too scared to leave and interact with people normally because I feel like a criminal and like someone who doesn't deserve to be around others. But in the same breath, I'm starting to hate my bedroom. It just feels like all my negative emotions are being bottled up and stored in here. I keep telling myself I should go out and take a walk and maybe it will feel better to just be out in the fresh air. But also don't want to because I'm quite lethargic on top of not eating that much either. Just feeling... stuck.
- Date posted
- 15w
I've had this app for awhile and was really nervous to post,comment or like anything.I still am,and frankly I've been having a really rough time which mostly includes ocd symptom,guilt/shame and agoraphobia which is not a fun combo but a small part of me is so tired of hiding and feeling awful all the time,even if at times I feel like I deserve it.I've been wanting to dabble into my hobbies like drawing or gaming but even my hobbies have been stressful & these negative feelings have been so awful for so long that I feel like I'm standing between two roads all the time yet feel horrified and worried either path when it comes to almost any decision will be wrong or not worth it in the end(and I hate that I feel like so.).I'm sure people can relate but the heavy loneliness and dehumanizing feelings is so awful,it's so good at it too.😭 I'm not diagnosed yet but I share alot of symptoms (interested to figure that out about myself soon.),but until I get medical insurance figured out I don't think I'll have access to professional help yet so for now I've just been watching some professionals online and I might finally read 'Freedom From Obsessive Personality Disorder' and see what it can offer.ANYWAYS,I'm trying to force myself to post so I can to people irl and online in any way I can train my brain to not stay so terrified of everything/everyone so,how has your day been?I hope it's been going well,if you've read this book or have any good suggests please feel free to let me know!
- Date posted
- 5w
I wanted to come on here and explain my OCD because I always feel so out of place since my OCD works a little differently than everyone else’s. If someone can relate to this, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I’ve always felt so alone with not knowing what this feeling is and why it affects me so much. Okay so ever since I was a toddler, Ive had a fear of change I can’t control. when the weather changes I’d have anxiety attacks, and a cloudy day would make me feel like i’m not myself. I don’t recognize my surroundings and I would cry and close my eyes until I’m back to normal. When it was still bright out at 8pm in the summer, as a kid, we’d go to bed at 8:30. But I’d tell my dad that I couldn’t go to bed. Not because of the sun, but because I wasn’t used to it. I vividly remember how different my room would feel when the sun was setting at 9pm. I hated it to the point where it’d make me anxious and scared. As I’ve grown, I’ve understood what causes me to feel so out of place when it’s a rainy day. My routine has always been the same for the most part: I wake up, I run to the store to get a monster, I clean/watch tv/work/hangout with friends, and then at night (which is crucial), I’m in bed around 10pm & I burn incense and watch tv for a bit until i’m ready to sleep. When things get in the way of that schedule, I go in panic mode. It’s almost like derealization when something is off in my normal routine. Like I feel like I’m in a different home, a different timeline, a dream almost. Since i’m older, It takes more for me to feel this way, but when I was younger, just watching a movie in my room would set me off because I’ve never watched a movie as a part of my routine. I know this is all over the place but I always wonder if everyone feels this way, but my OCD just intensifies it. It’s such a big part of my life, this sort of anxiety. And I don’t know how to get rid of it. I want to have my friends stay the night, but I can’t have people overnight in my room because it’ll change the whole “vibe” of the room. Something unfamiliar happening in my room is a nightmare for me. Another thing: I enjoy rearranging my room quite often and I figure that’s because It’s change I can control. But I always dread the night after it’s changed and I have to force myself into getting used to how it feels and being used to the way things are. But it really takes a toll on me; sometimes I end up crying because of it. ALSO! This affects relationships as well. If I’m in a relationship, I have to let in someone who has never been apart of my routine and my schedule before and that’s terrifying and almost impossible to get past. I know if I just let myself get used to the new feeling of having someone APART of my routine/schedule I can get used to it, but it’s harddd. Lastly, going overnight to people’s houses isn’t awful for me, because It doesn’t affect what’s mine. Does that make sense? Since I’m not in my room, my house, my backyard, etc, there’s nothing to change. Only the fact that i’m in a different place which used to be an issue, but my body/mind has accepted that I will go to different places and i’m very optimistic so i’m not one to just live in a bubble for the rest of my life. I would love to travel, but I don’t know how I could when I fear so much change. I leave for college soon and i’m DREADING the change because I know a whole different room is going to have me stressing 😭😭. If anyone understands this feeling even just by a little, I greatly appreciate if you leave a comment or even if u don’t relate, advice would be helpful:) Thank you!
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